Survive [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 13.

Harry:

As the words leave my mouth I immediately wish I could take them back. Louis is speechless and in complete shock. This would be a good time for him to say something. Anything. I immediately regret telling him. Why is he not giving me a proper reaction? What if he's homophobic!? No, he can't be... He made out with me at the party and quite frankly he didn't seem too disgusted about it. But, I mean. He surely can't be this surprised? I haven't been that settle with it.

"Please say something..."

I finally say my thoughts out loud. Louis shakes his head and takes a deep breath. My heart starts to raise and I can literally feel my heart beating in my throat. He sighs and looks up at me. I can't read his face expression. The only thing I know is that he doesn't seem relieved at all. But why would he? He just found out that his roommate is gay. Fuck why did i tell him? He will be so weird around me now.

"Sorry i'm just surprised, that's all..."

"If you feel uncomfortable with this I can just go back and live with my mother" I suggest, even though I really don't want to go back there. I don't want to see Joe again. Even if I miss my mother terribly.

"No, don't be ridiculous. I actually brought you up here to confess something myself..."

"Confess what?"

Louis sighs for himself and looks down. He seems to be thinking about something thoroughly. I sit there eager to know what. My leg starts shaking as I grow impatient.

"Never mind"

He says and stands up. I look up at him confused. Is he really just going to leave me hanging? He reaches his hand for me and helps me up.

"Are you going to act weird around me now...?" I ask and realize how needy and clingy I sound. Louis smiles at me and puts his arm around me like i'm a baby.

"Not at all. It was very brave of you to confess that Harry. I honestly admire you for it."

And with that I suddenly forget all my worries. I no longer wonder anything. I don't wonder about today, I don't wonder about his sexuality, and I don't worry about us. The important thing is that I know he supports me, and that I can trust him. The rest can remain a mystery for now. It's actually quite exciting not to know what will happen. As long as I can still talk to him and see him everyday. That will be more than enough for now.

When we get down I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I tell the other guys about it and they don't mind at all. They just smile and pat me on the back with some encouraging words. Simple as that. And then it's like nothing ever happened. They just hand me one of the controllers and a beer, and we continue our chill night. We share many laughs, play several different games and over all just have an amazing time. I have honestly not been this happy in a very long time. I am finally at ease. For once I am spending time with people who know about me and don't treat me any different because of it.

The night comes to an end and they eventually have to leave. Louis and I ask them to stay and sleep here but they for some reason don't want to. They just tell us that there is not enough room for all of us.

"Rubbish. You can sleep here in the living room and Harry and I can share the bed"

Louis suggests. I am taken back by his solution. I am honestly surprised that he is willing to sleep in the same bed as me after what i've told him. I thought he would keep some kind of distance form now on. Guess not.

As the time pass we manage to convince Niall and Liam to stay the night. Louis gets them some blankets and extra pillows so that they can sleep comfortably in the living room. I wait for him in his bedroom. I know i've slept here before but it was so meaningless and cold. For some reason I feel different this time. Can it be because I told him about my sexuality? Am I seriously expecting something to happen? He didn't admit anything so it doesn't change my chances... I need to realize that.

"Are you gonna sleep in that?"

Louis asks when he finally walks into the room. I look down at my clothes to see what he's referring to. I'm wearing sweats and a t-shirt.

"I guess... I don't want to make you uncomfortable" I mumble. God why is my lack of confidence THIS obvious? It's embarrassing.

"Don't be ridiculous. You can sleep in whatever you'd like."

I smile at him, yet I still feel unconscious about my body. Louis doesn't even seem to pay any attention to me anymore. He's walking over to the window to close it. I then take the chance to undress quickly so that he wont get the chance to see my hideous body. I rush with getting the t-shirt and sweats off until i'm standing there in nothing but my black boxers. I don't get the chance to climb into the bed before Louis turns around. As an instinct I immediately avoid eye contact. I just can't look at him, but I can still feel him staring at me.

"I know it's hideous..." I mumble.

"What is?"

"My body..."

I still refuse to give him a single glance. I hear him sigh as he walks up to me. Before I know it he's standing right in front of me. There is barely any space between us at this point. All I want to do is cover my self up in a blanket so that he won't have to see me this exposed. I grow really unconscious as he scans every single inch of my body. His hand reaches for my chest. My heart raises as he gently presses his fingers on my skin. Shivers run through my entire body as he slips his finger down the hairline on my stomach.

"Harry, you.." He begins, but stops himself.

"I what?"

I ask. Eager to know what he's about to say. He stares at my body and takes a deep breath. His eyes go up and lock with mine. As we stare at each other in complete silence my heart raises incredibly. If I didn't know better I would think that he's about to kiss me. But just as that thought comes up he steps back.

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself." He sighs and walks away from me. My chest drops after unconsciously holding my breath. My eyes follow him as he lays down on his side of the bed and takes his sweater off. He looks up at me and pats the other side of the bed. "Come here"

I lay down on my side of the bed and quickly cover my body up with the big blanket. Louis scoots closer to me and lays down at well. As time passes I can't seem to fall asleep. I turn to Louis several times but he seems to be asleep. I suddenly hear a vibration. Could it be my phone? Who the hell is calling this late? I reach for it under my pillow but the screen is black. The vibration continues. I suddenly realize that it's coming from the bed. I start searching the  until I find Louis's phone under his pillow. It's an incoming call from Sandy. Right, his ex... I ignore the call and put the phone back under the pillow. Well this is going to be a long night...