Survive [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 97.

Light reflects on the breathtaking karat diamond on the ring between my fingers. I slowly put it on my finger and the feeling that comes with it is divine. However, I know I'm not worthy of having this ring on my finger. Imagine. I had the chance to see Louis get down on one knee in front of me and express his love. I had the chance to say yes and see the smile biggest smile on his face. I had the chance. I had the chance and I blew it.

"So... How long are you going to stay here?" Niall asks from behind me. I immediately take the ring off and put it back in the little navy blue case. I clear my throat and turn to Niall casually, trying to pretend like he didn't see me put it on.

"Just until Louis forgives me" I answer and Niall groans as response.

"So forever?" He says in a irritated way that is somehow supposed to be comedic, but in the situation I'm in I just find it rude of him. I really don't feel welcome here and it kind of bothers me. Maybe I should've just stayed at Liam's place instead? No... I'd rather have Liam available to be there for Louis than anyone else. I trust him more than Niall and Zayn to be honest.

"Okay well listen. You have been here for days talking to your own shadow. How about we go down to the bar and have a couple of drinks? Liam is there and he might know how to cheer you up." Niall suggests and I feel like declining the offer immediately. But Niall is quick to strike me with those blue puppy eyes. I take a last look outside the window and sigh. He's right.

"Fine."

After forcing myself up from that couch I've been living in for the past couple of days, I managed to clean up quite nicely. I put on a pair of jeans and a plain black shimmy with rolled up sleeves. Since Niall lives so locally all we have to do is get out of the building and walk a little, then we're there.

When we get into the pub I immediately feel eyes piercing me. I look around but don't find the eyes until I look across the bar from where Liam is sitting. He's with Louis and Zayn. Louis is looking at me as if I shouldn't take another step closer, and Liam is looking around like a lost confused puppy. When we come up to them Liam quickly takes Niall to the side and starts hissing at him, not thinking about the fact that I can most definitely hear them. 

"I thought I told you that Louis would be here! What were you thinking bringing Harry here?" He growls at poor Niall.

"What? I was sure you said that Louis would NOT be here! That's why I brought him. Besides, he's been corrupting in my apartment, I had to get him out" Niall defends and I feel quite offended. I haven't been corrupting in his apartment? I've just been... chilling.

"Guys it's fine. He can stay." Louis surprises every single one of us by saying. 

Time flies and I find myself sitting on the other side of the bar while Louis laughs his problems off with Zayn. It's good to see his crinkled smile. It feels good to know he's happy and healthy. Although I wish I was the cause of that smile. I wish I was sitting there making him laugh. But I'm not. I'm sitting here on the other side of the bar drinking my worries away, yet they stand.

The more alcohol I get in my system, the more I get jealous of the people talking to him. I get jealous of Zayn being affectionate and putting his arm around Louis' shoulders. I get jealous of Liam saying things that make Louis crack up. I'm jealous of the fact that they get to be blessed by his presence and I don't. I want to talk to him. I need to talk to him. Sitting here watching something so close but so out of reach... It's torture. I need to act. I need to do something. I drink up the last of my thousand drink and walk up to Louis. Niall grabs my wrist and tries to stop me from doing something stupid but I just snatch my hand away from his grip.

"Louis. A word?" I say and try to seem sober but my head is spinning and by the way they're looking at me I can tell that I'm probably not even standing straight.

"Harry" Zayn begins and I immediately interrupt him.

"I wasn't talking to you" I snap and I see the fury within Zayn's eyes. Liam calms him down and Louis just nods. He surprises me by willingly following me outside where we can talk in peace. The music is muted from where we stand and no one can see us. Everything is blurry around me except for him. He's the only thing clear to me right now. His sapphire blue eyes and pink lips.

"I've missed you" I say before I get the chance to think. Louis sighs and turns away. "Louis, I miss you" I repeat as I realize he's basically pushed into the wall and my face is barely an inch away from his. I'm close enough to smell his scent, that familiar enchanting scent that I've missed so dearly. "Have you missed me? At all?"

"Of course I have b-" Louis says and I can't help but to crash my lips onto his. I feel my lips against his warm full lips as my hands grab his waist and pull him closer into me. He puts his hands on my chest and tries pushes me away. "Of course I missed you, Harry. But that doesn't mean I want you back!" He says and the words sting harder than I thought they would.

"But I love you" I say and begin kissing him again. I feel his force against me but for some reason I don't stop. I've just craved and missed him for so long that I've lost all self control. I grab his wrists and pin his arms against the wall. I keep kissing him passionately and then move on to kissing his neck and chest.

"Stop" He says and I get a strange disgusting feeling come over me. But I for some reason don't stop. It's like I'm in a trance. "I SAID STOP!" He repeats and manages to push me away. I immediately feel really disgusted with myself. Deja vu in its highest form. Louis looks at me with broken glossy eyes. "What has happened to you??" He whispers.

"I'm so sorry. Louis I don't know what got into me. I just love you so much please don't leave me please..."

"I need the ring" Louis snaps. His hair ruffled up and his skin sore. Was that of my making? I look down at my hands and back up at him. What is happening to me?

"What?"

"The ring. Give me the ring. It's not yours" He says and the words sting even worse. Suddenly the feeling of disgust develops into anger.

"You want the ring?" I ask and take it out of my pocket where I have it at all times. "Here. TAKE YOUR FUCKING RING!" I shout and throw it to the ground. Louis clenches his jaw and tries to look strong but the tears in his eyes are prominent. I look at the redness on his skin caused by my strong hands laid upon him. I'm so fucking disgusted with myself. All I know is that I need to go before I do anything else I'll regret.