Survive [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 4.

I wake up extremely late, but, what did i expect? I had a rough day yesterday. Although the night ended really good. Louis and I spent the entire night talking about simply every single topic. I got to know him a lot better and hopefully he learned enough about me. I may have skipped telling him about my personal issues and family problems. Well, since i've only known the guy for about a day it just didn't feel necessarily. Besides, he didn't even ask about any of it. Although i did get to know a little bit more about him than expected, but then again he had been drinking. I got to know about the many sisters of his, divorced parents and also a lot about how high school was for him. Seems like he was very popular there, unlike me. The point is, i felt really comfortable talking with him and hopefully he enjoyed it too.

"Tea?"

I hear the softest voice call from the kitchen. I scratch my eyes and turn around in the armchair. Did i really fall asleep here? I chuckle at the thought.

"What's that?" Louis asks. Probably thinking i answered.

"Uh yeah, some tea would be great. Thank you."

I say with an unstable hoarse voice. I clear my throat but it doesn't seem to make a difference. I climb out of the armchair and feel an uncomfortable ache on my entire body. It was probably a really bad idea to fall asleep in such an unusual spot. Especially considering Louis slept on the sofa. I could have just slept on the bed. I stretch my body and groan with the pain. Louis quickly reacts and puts the kettle down on the table. He walks over to me and it is not until now i notice that he is wearing nothing but sweats. So his entire toned upper body is exposed. He must be very athletic to have a body like that.

"Are you okay?"

He asks. Quickly snapping me away from my thoughts. I shake away my focus of his body and look up at his eyes. Damn they are beautiful. I have never ever been this enchanted by blue eyes before.

"Yeah i just... I didn't sleep in a good position i guess..." I practically stutter.

"I'm so sorry, man. I was going to wake you and tell you to sleep on the bed but you seemed so exhausted"

He explains and starts rubbing my shoulders. My entire body shiver at his touch. His hands are so soft and warm. I'm mesmerized and suddenly lose all my attention to what he's saying. All my focus is on how good he is at massaging and how i never want him to stop. I lean my head back slightly and close my eyes. I let out a breath of what he hopefully will interpret as relaxation and nothing else. His hands caress my shoulders one last time and then slides down the arch of my back. My entire body tingle at his movements. Shit, what is happening. I open my eyes and look down at my body. I see the bulge in my shorts growing. Oh god, did i really get a boner because of a fucking massage!? I quickly snatch away from his gentle touch and step away from him, trying to cover up my bulge with my phone.

"What's wrong?" Louis asks concerned. Thankfully looking at my flushed face.

"N-nothing i just have to... pee."

I lie and rush to the bathroom. I quickly lock the door and put my hands on each side of the basin. I take a deep breath trying to calm down. That could have ended really awkward. If he would notice that i got turned on my that he would be freaked out and probably kick me out of the flat. Shit, i can't go out there now. I need to get this boner to disappear, NOW! Okay think about something that turns you off... Think think think.... Grandma. Grandma in that ugly yellow swimsuit. I look down again, hoping for it to be gone. I sigh in relief. It worked.

"So. Sorry about that. Nature called!" I lie as soon as i get out of the bathroom. Louis smiles half at me.

"No problem, bro. Here's your tea."

He says and hands me the cup. I take a seat next to him by the dining table. I know we're friends, but did he really feel the need to call me "bro"? I mean, it's not like i think i actually have a chance with this guy, but he doesn't need to label it like that. Wait, what am i even thinking? Shake it off, stupid. I take a sip of it and try to avoid staring at him too much.

"So a friend of mine has this party tonight..." Louis begins after a moment of silence.

"Yeah?"

"And i just don't know how comfortable i am with you staying here alone..."

"Louis, i'm not going to rob you."

"No i know. That's not what i'm worried about..." He says and glances down at my scarred wrist. I quickly hide it under the table. He's probably right. I still need some kind of supervision i guess...

"So what's your plan?" I sigh.

"Well, i know you probably don't want to meet a bunch of people when you're depressed and all but... Maybe you could come to the party?" He suggests.

"Oh i don't know..." I mumble and walk towards the living room with the cup in my hand still. Louis follows my steps.

"Come on. It will be healthy for you to get out. Make some new friends. Maybe get laid even! I know a bunch of beautiful girls you'd love!"

I feel like bursting out in laughter. I'm as gay as i can get. I can honestly not even picture myself with a girl. I haven't even tried dating girls in the past. I knew my sexuality at a very young age and i was never ashamed of it. Until like... Now. And i don't even know why... Maybe it won't hurt to play along for a bit? I mean, i don't want things to get weird between Louis and i. He might be homophobic even, how would i know?

"Blondes?" I finally say, acting as if it would make any difference. It will suck just as much without them there.

"Yeah of course! I know blondes, brunettes, redheads, whatever you like! Okay, man?"

"Sounds cool. How about you?"

"Nah, i'm just there for the alcohol, poker and company. We're young. Better enjoy it."

Louis says and pats me on the back before entering his bedroom. I stay in the living room with the cup in my hand. Why did i do that? I don't want to act straight. I don't want to act like someone i'm not? Well, i can just pretend like i don't find any of the girls attractive. Then i can just skip all of that nonsense and drink and play poker with Louis and the rest of the guys. This can actually be really fun. Can it?