Survive [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 58.

"Wait.. Is that?" I nod. Yes, it's your box of memories and heartbreaking secrets that make me want to cry because now I know why you are the way you are. Your dad was an ass, much like mine, and he made you suffer for it. So quickly you went from a innocent cute motorcycle twink to a hot wreck. I get it. I totally get it.

"Did you read any of it?" He says carefully. I hesitate but nod at last. He grabs the vase from the drawer and throws it on the wall. I flinch as it shatters into millions of pieces. "Are you kidding me? I bring you to my mother's house and the first thing you decide to do is pry? Haven't you ever heard of privacy!?"

"I'm so sorry, I really am. I just-"

"I'd like you to leave."

Louis:

As the words reach his ears he looks completely torn. I can tell that he is really sorry but I don't care. He went through my stuff without my consent! There's a reason I left all of these stuff here and never brought them to my apartment when I moved out. The past is supposed to stay in the past. Period. I don't need all of this to remind me of how terrible my relation with my father was. I honestly wish my dad had been one of those to just run off as soon as things got tough. Honestly. If he did I wouldn't have to deal with him treating me the way he did. I wouldn't have had to deal with his alcohol problems. I wouldn't have to deal with him beating me up every other day. There would be so much that would have gone unseen.

"Louis, please.." Harry pleads but I just shake my head. I'm surprised when he actually listens to me and walks out of there. I stay in the room as I hear him saying goodbye to my mother and sister, assuring them that he had a good time and suggesting that they should come by sometime. He even compliments my mother's cooking and asks her for the recipe. Harry is such a great guy and I honestly feel bad for kicking him out but... He just doesn't understand how hard this is for me. All of it.

Suddenly I hear plenty of goodbyes and the front door close. It doesn't take long before my mother comes into my room and notices me sitting on my old bed. She looks at me with a small smile. I try to hold my tears back as I look around the room I once shared so many memories in. Good and bad.

"I never thought I'd see you in here again." Mother tells me as she walks in. Never before have my feet reached the floor while sitting here. Right in front of the bed is a familiar mirror. It is just the same frame, but a completely different boy inside them staring back at me. The mattress sinks as my mother sits down next to me. She places her hand on mine and I finally look up at her. "You can't run away from the past, sweetie. It will always be a part of you. It is what made you who you are today."

"I've missed you so much" I cry and bury my face in her lap. She always knows the right things to say. I feel like such an idiot for not wanting to see her for all this time. She never did anything wrong. I just didn't want to be reminded in any way. So I lost contact with all of my family, even my sisters. Until last year.

"I've missed you too. I'm so happy that you've found someone. It seems like he really loves you" She says and wipes the tears away from my cheeks. I nod.

"He does, doesn't he..."

Harry:

5am.

These surroundings can be so under appreciated. How can you sit in a place like this, looking out at the streets of New York City and not feel blessed? Almost a year ago I stood a couple of feet from here, debating weather I life was worth living or not. But look at me now. I might still have my ups and downs but I've come such a long way since then. So much has happened within a year. I made friends for life. I got a job. I found a place to stay. But most importantly, I fell in love.

Here he is now, walking across the rooftop all the way to me. He's carrying blankets and pillows. I can't help but to smile widely at him. What is he up to now?

"What's that for?" I ask curiously. He drops the pillows and blankets and start making it comfortable. Before I know it he scoots as close into me as possible, wrapping the blanket over our bodies. He's so random sometimes. How did he even know I was up here? I don't recall telling him where I'd be up here. For all I knew he could be sleeping in his mothers house tonight.

"I thought maybe we'd sleep up here tonight?" He says and pulls me closer into him. We both cuddle in the blanket and look at the night sky. He suddenly places his soft gentle hand on mine. Our fingers intertwine, and I don't think two hands have ever fit so nicely together. It's like my hand was made to hold his. I look up and see how the moonlight brings out all his small features. God, why is he like this? How can one person be so darn perfect? "I'm sorry for lashing out at you like that back at my mother's house..."

He says and looks right at me. The butterflies in my stomach flutter as I feel his eyes on me. I just keep staring at our hands as he gently rubs my skin with his thumb. I take a deep breath.

"It's okay.."

I say calmly. That's when I realize that Louis is sitting completely turned sideways so that he's facing me. Suddenly I feel his breath on my neck. A feeling of complete satisfaction runs over me as his gentle lips kiss my skin. I close my eyes and enjoy the sensation as I let my senses take over. I let go of his hand and cups his face. Gently caressing his growing stubble on his cheeks. Turning him to me, push his soft fringe away from his eyes. His lips mold with mine and my fingers gently tug at his feathery hair. God, have I missed these lips. I've craved his kiss for so long. He stops and rests his forehead against mine. I open my eyes just to see the depths of his breathtaking blue eyes. He inhales deeply as my nose brushes his. A small innocent smile grows on his face as turns to look at the sky.

"Look. It's already sunrise."

He says, completely admiring his view as I'm admiring mine. He might be looking at the sun rising and coloring the sky and beautiful shade of red, but I'm definitely the one looking at the bigger masterpiece here. He looks like the most precious little child, sitting there staring up at the sky.

"Louis" I say at last. Louis small head turns to me as he looks at me with his full attention. I don't want to ruin this lovely moment but I'm curious. "Why did you tell your mother I was your boyfriend?"

"Because..." He sighs and looks down, suddenly looking sad again. Damn it, did I really have to ask? Now I made him upset. The smile on his face disappeared completely. "I want her to be happy. And she's happy if I am."

"Well are you...?" I ask. I feel like I'm putting him on the spot but honestly that's all I need to know. That's all that matters.

"I am happy when I'm with you. And that scares me. A lot." He explains and wraps the blanket around his small torso. Without a doubt I scoot closer into him and wrap my arms around him. "No one has ever affected me the way you do, and I don't know if that's a good thing."

"Is that why you get so upset with me sometimes? Like today when I went through your stuff?"

"Yeah. I just don't like letting people in like that. Especially to my past since I've tried to run away from it for so long." He admits. It is moments like this when I get to speak to him properly. It is not until you're sitting on the rooftop at 5am that Louis begins opening up to you. He doesn't like to show his sensitive side. I get that. But when he does show it, I have to admit, I fall in love with him even more.

"Maybe it's about time you change that."

I say and he turns to me with redness in his eyes. Why does it feel like he's always on the edge of crying but never lets himself cry? He just doesn't ever dare to make himself vulnerable to anyone. Like he said himself. He doesn't like to let people in. Well maybe for once, he will.