Survive [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 76.

Harry:

I wake up in an empty bed, causing myself to quickly panic. It can't be. Don't tell me he's seriously going to keep running away every morning after we've spent the night together. Considering I'm the paranoid person I am, I fly out of bed and start looking around the apartment. Gone. He's no where to be seen, his shoes are missing and I KNOW he doesn't have to work today. I walk back to the bedroom and sigh as I sit down on the bed. That's when I realize I missed something. Right on top of the nightstand there's a note with Louis' cute handwriting on it.

¨Morning, love. We're out of milk, so if I'm still not home when you're reading this, I probably ended up buying the entire store. Cause I'm leaving on an empty stomach. Be right back.

Yours sincerely, Louis. ¨

I feel my entire body get relieved. Thank god. What is wrong with me? Why did I panic as soon as he wasn't there? Wow... I really need to get my shit together. But oh my god, that note was so sweet. I'm standing here smiling like an idiot. I love this man so much that it hurts. How am I supposed to live without him?.... Seriously though.... How am I supposed to live without him?

I at last decide to take a shower to clear my thoughts. Water is running down every inch of my skin. I rest my head on the cold shower wall as I shut my eyes and simply wait for it all to be over. The warm water fogs up the glass walls and all I can seem to do is keep my eyes closed. I can't tell if the liquid running down my cheeks is the water or my tears. I push my dripping hair away from my face and feel so suffocated. There's a huge lump in my throat making it hard to breath. I run my fingers down the shower wall and finally open my eyes. The first thing I see is the healed cuts on my wrist. I get the sudden urge to scratch and open up every single scar, but I have to fight against it. I have to. I've gone such a long time without hurting myself. I can make it through this. I can. I can. I can.

I gently run my fingers along my arm until I come across different types of scars and bruises. Bruises I've had for years and years, caused my someone else than me. Someone who assaulted and took advantage of me. Fuck. I still remember everything. Every. Single. Thing. Every word. Every scream. Every touch...

*Flashback*

"Mommy please don't leave me" I remember myself crying so much every time she would leave me. I'd much rather be unsupervised than to have this horrible disgusting completely mental babysitter. I tugged and pulled at my mothers shirt, begging her to stay. But did she ever?

"I won't be gone for long. Just a few hours, sweetie. I promise. Besides, the babysitter will be here any second."

There was no point in trying to convince her otherwise. I remember how many times I tried to tell her what he had done. What he had continued to do ever since she hired him. It had went on ever since I was 11 years old, and at the age of 14 he had gotten what he wanted. But would that stop him? No it wouldn't. The hardest part of it all was that my mother never wanted me to be alone at home or unsupervised, just because I self harmed and was depressed, my mother just didn't dare to leave me alone. No matter how old I got, she just wanted to do everything in her power to avoid seeing another cut on my arm. Oh, ff she only knew he was the cause of it.

"Make sure to eat. Okay?" She told me. I nodded in response. I never understood how a mother like herself could look right into the eyes of her crying son and just leave him. Never did I ever understand how she could never believe me either. I told her. Oh, I told her so many times. I kept saying that he was a bad man and that he made me do things I didn't like. But it was so hard to explain, because I was so young and inexperienced. I barely understood what was going on half of the time. So I understand why she had a hard time understanding me.

Moments later I stood by the window and watched her car drive off. I hurried to find the key to my bedroom door. I locked myself in the room and put all my strength in pushing my entire drawer in front of the door. I refused to let him in this time. I had had enough of him repeating the same things over and over again, causing me to lay wide awake every night, crying my eyes out. As soon as I heard his car park in our driveway I hurried to my bed and hid on my bed with the sheets above my head. I remember sitting there, literally shaking, staring at the door and just crying. Hoping that he wouldn't find a way in. I heard his footsteps approach my bedroom and my heart raised.

"Harry? Are you in there?" His disgusting voice called. I didn't answer. All I could do was cry. "Harry! Open up! HARRY!" He repeated. I covered my ears and tried to shut it out. Everything.

*Reality*

"HARRY OPEN UP!" The voice changes from that horrible man to Louis sincere voice. But everything is black. Suddenly I hear the door break and I feel someone lifting me off the cold wet floor. I flutter my eyes open as I'm sat face to face with Louis. He's on his knees in front of me shaking my shoulders, trying to wake me up. How did I end up on the floor? What happened?

"Louis" I breath. Louis brightens up and the worry in his eyes is now replaced with relief. His clothes are wet and so is his hair. What happened? Seriously?

"Are you okay? Can you hear me?" He assures and waves his hand in front of my eye. His wet hair is stuck on his forehead and his eyes are a icy blue color. Probably the most beautiful thing to wake up to, no lie. With his face pale with worry, he grabs a towel and wraps it around my exposed wet body. Shit, I must've fell hard. My head is hurting really bad and there's water everywhere. All over the bathroom floor, dripping down the walls and all over Louis' clothes. He's literally on his knees in front of me in his wet clothes. "How many fingers am I holding up? Harry?" He asks, waving a peace sign in front of me. I don't even answer. I just throw myself into his arms and embrace him. I need to let go of my past. I need to let the future be. Because right now, at this moment, this is all that matters. Cause here's my hero. Right in front of me. And the fact that he's here, is all I'll ever need.