Survive [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 99.

Louis:

Liam helps me get into backseat of his car. My entire body is aching in pain after that terrible fall. I apparently fainted on the edge of my bed. Now that I'm feeling better I feel like I need to have a proper talk with Harry. He's probably feeling like shit after what happened last night. I know he kissed me even though I didn't want to, but in his head it's probably much worse. He has experienced such traumatizing things as a child he's probably worried that this was comparable. I need to make sure that he knows that everything is okay and that he shouldn't be too hard on himself. I suddenly get a text from Niall. 

*He's not home and all of my pills are gone.*

My heart starts raising. Oh no. Oh my god no. I know what this means. No, oh my god. Where can he be if not at Niall's place!? I need to get home as fast as possible, before he does something stupid.

"Drive faster, we need to get home NOW!" I shout at Liam and he immediately hurries up without questioning me.

When we get there I run out of the car and into the building. When I get to my floor I notice that my door is unlocked which means he should be in there. I run inside and notice that the lights are on. He has to be here somewhere. In panic I walk into every room and check every corner. He needs to be here somewhere. He's not in the living room, not in the kitchen, not in my bedroom... I check the bathroom and notice blood stains. What the fuck? Where can he be? The thought then hits me. The rooftop.

I take the elevator up and as soon as I get up there I realize that it's ice cold and that he's right where I thought he'd be. But instead of standing on the edge of the rooftop as last time, he's on the ground in foster position. I run up to him and see him laying there, still breathing.

"HARRY!" I shout.

"Louis? You're alive..." He says in such a hoarse soft voice I can barely hear him. Fuck. He looks just like he did two years ago. His skin pale and cold. His eyes red and bloodshot. I glance down his arm and notice the big deep extreme cut on his wrist. The blood is basically flushing out of it. It is so deep.

"What the fuck did you do? Why did you do this?" I say and feel the need to start crying my eyes out.

"I lost you" He says.

"What? No you didn't! I'm alive! You should've just asked Niall. I was alive" I explain and Harry shakes his head.

"No, Louis..." He whispers and chokes up. "I lost you."

I now finally understand what he means. I shake my head. I need to save him. I've done it once, I can do it again. I push two fingers into his throat, to make him throw up the pills he has taken. He coughs and suddenly something comes up, but it's not pills. He's coughing up blood. I panic and notice my hands shaking. What's happening why isn't it working!? I glance down and notice how his wrist is still bleeding a lot. I rip my shirt and tie it on his wrist, trying to make the blood stop flowing.

I reach my hand out and carefully caress his soft cheek. I gently push the hair away from his eyes as they begin fluttering. You can't prepare for these kind of things. And I don't want to. I won't accept this as our fate. I won't let him leave me. He can't... He just can't.

"Please don't leave me..."

I whisper as a warm tear slowly runs down my cheek. His eyes struggle to open and i'm just sitting there, waiting patiently. I've wanted to see those green orbs day night. My heart breaks as our eyes meet. I had forgotten how absolutely breathtaking he is.

"Don't cry"

He whispers in a weak voice. That only makes me want to cry harder. I try to hold it in but it feels impossible. I can't help my trembling lip and tears running down my cheeks.

Harry:

I had never understood what it was like to experience this. To love someone to literal death. To love someone so much it hurts and see that person disappear one part at a time. Now I realize how useless my mother must have felt. Trying her best to love and cherish her children and then have them ripped out of her grip. 

"I love you so much it hurts" I say. His eyes turn glossy and slightly red as he tries to smile, but let's out a sob instead.

"It hurts me too" He breaths and we both begin sobbing as I squeeze his hand. "I don't want to be without you, Harry.. I want to..." He gulps and stops himself. We are both crying so hard that we can't speak in full sentences. But he tries his best. "I want to marry you. I want to grow old with you. I want to be with you until your hair turns grey and we can barely walk. I want to sit on a porch outside our home, admiring the lives we've created."

I can't take this. I can't listen to this. I don't want to imagine how our lives could have been. I am frightened. And I know he is frightened too. That's what makes this even worse. He's always the breave one that makes me feel safe and makes me feel like everything will work out. But not this time. I have given up entirely.

"Stop"

I cry and feel the pain torturing me, I close my eyes letting the tears escape. He is crying too and I don't want to see it. I'm holding his hand with all of my heart. He lifts my hand and kisses it repeatedly. "Why didn't you tell me all of this before? I would've never done this" I say.

"I was scared..."

"Don't be. Save me. You've done it once, you can do it again." I plead and he shakes his head crying.

"I can't"

"Yes you can. Don't leave me Louis. You can't let me go" I cry and that only makes him cry even more. But I don't stop. I let my emotions take over. "You're my life! You're my voice. You're my eyes. You're my every breath. You're everything."

I'm almost shouting at this point but the pain and the blood trying to push out of my throat is holding me back. I'm not good with goodbyes. I have never been good with it and I will never be. I never got the chance to say goodbye to my sister Gemma before she died. I never got the chance to say goodbye to Chad before he disappeared. I never got to say goodbye to my father and I barely left my mom with a proper goodbye. I just left. Cause goodbyes are hard. They are hard for me. They will always be.

"Louis. You're my guardian angel. You saved my life."

I say shakily. My voice is unstable and I can't even recognize it anymore. I squeeze his soft warm hand. His eyes scan every inch of my face before gently pushing my curls back. He shakes his head blankly. Unable to pull his stare away from my lips.

"No Harry." He says. "You saved mine."

**********************

Make sure to follow me on instagram and if you leave a comment I will get so happy! My instagram username is: Sara.Almandlawi

The next chapter will be the very last and then this story is finished. Brace yourselves!

Love always, S.