Survive [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 73.

The next day. I'm stood in the kitchen getting breakfast ready for Louis and I before I have to head to work. Louis is in the living room going through our bills and watching Family Guy. I make us some sandwiches along with some Yorkshire tea. I can hear Louis coughing from the other room. It's so strange to react on it these days. Before I knew about his illness I never really questioned his severe coughs, but now that I know, I just want it to stop. It's like a constant reminder and over all painful to hear. I cut a slice of lemon and put it in the tea. Maybe it will help his throat a tiny bit. It's worth a shot.

I put everything on a tray and balance my way to the living room, trying my best not to spill anything. I place it on the coffee table right in front of him and hand him the tea. With his eyes locked on the piece of paper in his hand, I lean down and give him a simple kiss.

"I put some lemon in it. Thought it'd might help your coughs" I inform and sit down on the armchair. He nods and takes a sip of it. The TV-program is really distracting so I turn the volume down. "It sounds really bad today. Like, worse than usual" I add. Louis shakes his head annoyed.

"No it's just as bad as always, babe" He says flatly and clears his throat. I sigh. Why does he have to insist that there is no possibility of his illness getting worse? I mean, it really sounds worse than usual, I can tell. But I'm almost afraid to tell him otherwise. He gets really defensive when it comes to this. I mean, obviously he knows best, but he can't just decline every way that I'm trying to help him?

"I just think that... Maybe you should... You know... Go get it checked out. Just in case." I mumble, in fear that he will get really annoyed. He sighs and puts the bills down on the table.

"I've had this for five years, Harry. I think I would know by now weather I should get it checked or not" He says.

"But I just-" I stutter but Louis stands up and leaves the breakfast without having a single bite. He walks towards his bedroom and shuts the door loudly behind him. Jesus. I push my hair back and just lean back in the armchair. I understand if he gets defensive and stuff but to disrespect me like that? Really? I was just being considerate and he decides to walk right out of the room without a proper argument? He literally left the breakfast I made him without a simple thank you. No. This is not okay. But I can't go in there and scold him now... I just found out about his illness last night, I can't possibly go and have a fight with him now. I have to handle this in the best way possible. I need to deal with it in a mature way no matter how hard it can get. No matter how much he can get on my nerves. But I should maybe go in there...? Just check how he is...? Maybe apologize..? But for what!? I don't understand why I feel like the guilty one here. As if I was the one who did him wrong? He was the one acting like a child.

I glance down at my arm clock. Shit, I have to leave for work soon. My shift starts in one hour. Can I seriously deal with it right now? Well... I guess I kind of have to, don't I? I mean, I chose this. I was the one who signed up for this in the first place. I can't already be pissed about small things like these. No. I promised to be there for him, so I'm going in there.

I get off the armchair and walk over to the bedroom. When I put my hand on the door handle I can hear soft sobs from inside the bedroom. Is he... crying? I hesitate but open the door at last. Louis stands there with his back faced against me. He clears his throat and turns to me. It's dark so I turn the lights on, just to see his bloodshot eyes and puffy face.

"What?" He snaps. Wow. He's really not making this easy on me. 

I slowly walk up to him and lean my hand towards his face. He looks down at the floor with clenched jaws. His eyes are red and his sharp cheekbones are wet with tears. There's no denying that. He's just so fragile that he likes to come off as the opposite. All butch and not bothered by anything. I gently wipe a tear away from his cheek and he suddenly flinches, which causes me to snatch my hand away as fast as possible. 

"We have to get going if we want to find a birthday gift for Nialler" Louis says flatly as he grabs his jeans jacket from his wardrobe and puts it on. I clear my throat and start scratching my neck nervously. Niall's birthday. I totally forgot about that.

"Actually.. about that..." I mumble and just when I thought Louis couldn't get more annoyed, he does. He gives me a pissed off look. "I kind have to work all day..." I say.

"So you're seriously not coming to your best friend's birthday?" He says in a really judgmental way, causing me to feel really bad about taking the shift today. Besides, I wouldn't call Niall my best friend exactly. Or well... Now that I think of it. "I'll tell him you said hi." He hisses and walks right past me.

"I'm obviously going to celebrate him tomorrow. Why don't you just do the same?" I suggest, but Louis isn't having it. He shakes his head and walks right out of the room. I don't know how comfortable I am with him out clubbing without me right now, but maybe I should do something about it....

*****

God, I'm feeling so emotional right now. Just finished writing a chapter for later in the story... You guys better get ready for a heck of a roller coaster.

Love always, S.