Survive [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 69.

*Okay bro. But how did it go? Heard you spent the night there.*

What? Spent the night where? I thought he had spent the night with Zayn? Apparently not. I decide to see what else has been said in this conversation but as I swipe right there's a password blocking me from unlocking the phone. Fuck! Just in that moment Louis has put on a shirt and I've missed the spectacular view. Louis turns around and before I get the chance to put the phone back he has already seen it in my hands. He panics and his face screams with anger. He snatches the phone right out of my hands, but I'm the first to do the scolding this time.

"I thought you said you slept at Zayns place?" I say, suddenly overwhelmed with anger rather than sorrow. Louis' face turns pale with fear but he's quick to defend himself and turn the situation around.

"Who told you that you could read my messages?" He scolds.

"Apparently I have no choice since you keep lying to me! Was it so hard to say that you slept elsewhere? Did you really have to lie?" I press, watching him shake his head blankly, staring off into the distance. I adjust my position on the bed as he clenches his jaw and wanders around the room. At last he kicks the empty beer bottle on the floor.

"Well excuse me if I don't feel the need to tell you every single detail of my life! Get off my case now will ya!?" He almost shouts at me. I suddenly feel that inferior role taking pushing me down. No, I know I can't handle people shouting at me and making me feel threatened but this is Louis. If I want to say something, I can. He won't ever put a hand on me. That's a fact.

"I'm living with a guy that hides EVERYTHING from me! Do you realize how fucking sketchy that is!? It's messed up! I don't want to live with a guy that's hiding almost everything from me!" I shout, standing up in front of him. We're both barely an inch away from each other and I feel like I'm actually having some kind of effect on him right now. He closes his eyes slowly and swallows his anxiousness.

"Then leave."

He says and I feel everything around me shatter. I don't know why it surprises me how easily those words fell out of his mouth. How can he have the guts to even give me that option? I know I wouldn't dare to even give Louis the thought. But considering everything that's been going on all the time that I've known him, it almost feels like a good idea... I mean he's right, isn't he? I keep complaining about his lies yet the thought never occurred to me just to leave?

"If that's what you want." I say in the most careful tone I can manage. Louis looks at me with widened eyes, almost as if he never thought I'd actually agree. I step away from him and start packing my things immediately. Louis stares at me attentively, still in shock. I feel the lump in my throat grow as I just wait for him to say something. Anything. I just want him to tell me to stop. To put my things back where I found them and stop being ridiculous. I want him to tell me that he wants me to stay and that he wants me in his life. But as I'm here, down on my knees, putting my things in the suitcase I came here with, all I can see is Louis shadow above me. But not a word.

Suddenly I see Louis walking over to me. I feel my soul overflow with hope that he will stop me. But he doesn't. He just grabs his jacket that was hung next to me and leaves. I don't even look at him. I just keep packing as I hear his shoes echo across the apartment. Before I know it the front door closes. Did he seriously just leave? I understand if he's bad with goodbyes, I am too, but to leave like that? Without a single word?

As soon as I hear the front door close I collapse on the floor and start crying like a child. I cry and cry and cry and low-key hope for him to come back. But he just never does. As I lay on the floor crying my eyes off, I notice a framed in picture on Louis' night stand. With barely any strength left in me, I get up and sit back down on the bed.

Why haven't I seen this picture before? Must be new. It's a picture of Louis and I from our cruise. Those were the days. I feel a ache in my chest, or well, more like a sting. I just wish I had a time machine that could take me back to this day. We were together and happy and away from all the drama. It was just him and me. Gosh, look at the way we looked back then as well. I was so pale and not as fit as now. My hair was just a curly mess as well... But I was happy. That smile was true in all ways possible. And look at Louis with his soft hair and squishy adorable smile. But damn, he looked healthier back then. It has only been half a year. Look how fast time flies.

Well, I can't keep living in the past. It's time to put this behind me and realize once in for all that things will never be the same. Even though I love Louis with all my heart and would like to spend the rest of my life with him, I just have to accept the fact that he doesn't want the same thing. Sometimes the person you think you were destined to be with is nothing but a lesson well learned. Sometimes the person that can make you the happiest also has the power to make to the saddest you've ever been. And it's not good to let anyone have that affect on you.

I hear something vibrating time after time. It's my phone that has been ringing non stop. I find it under the bed. Shit, how drunk was I last night? How did it end up there? Anyway, I see that I have 11 missed calls from Liam. What does he want? I just ignore the calls and grab the last of my stuff. I've had enough. I need to leave. I'll just go back to living with my mother until I find a better place. I press everything I can into my suitcases and make sure that I haven't forgotten anything. I then put my jacket and shoes on and look at the apartment one last time. I then open the front door, ready to leave when I'm stood face to face with the last person I thought I'd see right now.

"Harry, don't do it."