Survive [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 87.

"What the fuck was that? What is he doing here?" Louis hisses in my ear as he holds my hips in a firm grip. His stubble tickles on my cheek as he pierces the words into my ear right through his teeth.

"I didn't invite him." Is the only thing I can get myself to say. For some reason I went from teasing him to complete defense-mode. He just seems so angry and frustrated right now that I fear that he will punch his fist into a wall at any second. But it was harmless, wasn't it? We were just talking... and dancing... and grinding a bit... Okay it was kind of bad.

"That's not what I asked." He says and grabs my waist in a stronger grip. "Why were you grinding on him?" He asks.

"We were just dancing" I defend in the most innocent way possible. He shakes his head.

"Don't fucking tease me, princess." He says as his hands reach down to my bum and he squeezes it firmly, causing a soft moan to escape my mouth. I breathe into his neck to get him going. His touch is enough to fire me up at this point. There's no denying it. Suddenly a more uptempo R&B song comes on and I take my chance to push him even further. I start grinding my crotch against his and then turn around and start pressing my ass up against him. He bites his lip and kisses my neck from behind. "Stop that" He hisses.

"I'm just dancing" I tease and keep grinding. Suddenly grabs my wrist.

"What are you trying to do exactly?" He asks in a rather confused tone. I turn and give him a slow passionate kiss on his lips.

"I want you" I whisper sensually into his ear. His entire body tenses and he takes a deep breath before swallowing his anxiousness. I look right into his sapphire blue eyes and look for his lust. He closes his eyes, blessing me with his lashes. I take my chance to push him even further by letting my hand slide down the line of his stomach. I would usually be ashamed to be this affectionate in public but today I just don't give a single fuck. Besides, everyone is drunk and not even paying attention to us in the corner of the dance floor. As my fingers reach his crotch he quickly reacts by grabbing my wrist.

"We should get back to the guys." He says and lets go of my arm, stepping away from me. I put my hand on his shoulder to object but he just turns to me with a really angry look on his face. "Now."

He snaps in a really demanding tone. There's not much more I dare to do when he's this angry. I just calm myself down and feel my self esteem go down as I follow him back to the sofa where the others are seated. I thought it would work. Maybe I really screwed up this time. I shouldn't have kept such a distance from him and refused sex when I knew I really really desperately wanted to. In the end I just fucked everything up as usual. I kept pushing him away that now when I'm on my knees, he's treating me the same way. I've just been so protective of Louis ever since he told me about the disease that I wouldn't let anything happen to him.

"Who's up for shots!?" Zayn exclaims and hold up a bottle of vodka in the air. The people surrounding us cheer and Louis is one of them. We're standing next to the boys and Louis has his hand on my waist in his silly way of being protective whilst not even looking at me. You know what? I'm not in the mood anymore. I don't even feel like partying anymore. Am I supposed to stand here and try to have a good time when I feel guilty about everything I do? I don't know, I don't even feel desired anymore. The fact that he totally declined me just shows how I didn't even turn him on? That's not good for my confidence.

"Can I get the car keys? I think I'm gonna go home.." I say quiet enough for only Louis to hear. If the other boys heard they would convince me to stay and I really don't want to. Louis quickly lets go of my waist and turns to me even more pissed of then before.

"What? Why? Just two more hours and I'll leave with you, I swear"

"No but I want to go now. I'm tired and not in the mood at all..." I whine and Louis just puts the keys on my hand.

"Fine, go. I'll see you when I come home." He says flatly. I look at him surprised, I don't know what I expected but I didn't expect him to be so easy to convince? I hoped that he would try to get me to stay but he gave in really quick. I put the keys in my pocket and don't even bother to hug him goodbye. I'm don't even know what to do at this point.