Widow Sisters and Friends (Restoring Our Broken Hearts)

Reunion: Part 5

Summary: Natasha was one to generally savor solitude, but it seemed that somehow Yelena, within a few short days together, was able to completely wreck that persona.

OR

Natasha reunites with Yelena about a week after they took down the Red Room together and they both struggle to try to navigate their new dynamics, wanting to be close but not quite knowing how.

   The next morning, Natasha was already in the kitchen before Yelena had even begun to wake up. She was trying her best to make breakfast and to give Yelena a real one that the blonde had not really had since Ohio.

However, the trouble was that Natasha was nowhere near being a good cook.

She was doing the best she could, though. She was actually starting to get a little irritated with the fact that she was not doing it right and could not seem to get it right no matter what she tried.

Of course, she might be doing just a little better if she was not so distracted by what happened last night with her baby sister.

Yelena had seen her cry. Something that Natasha had not done in front of someone for so, so long. The last person that saw her cry was Clint, and even with him, she never was able to cry comfortably and without fear of judgement even though she knew he never would judge her for feeling things. Natasha was just terribly ashamed of herself for letting vulnerability show in such a way, especially since it likely made Yelena uncomfortable despite the blonde's words to the contrary.

However, Natasha could not deny that it did feel nice and safe in some strange way when Yelena was the one that she was crying in front of, despite the fact that Yelena likely was weirded out by her.

But strangely enough, Yelena had said that she wanted her, and she had been nothing but completely comforting the entire time that Natasha cried. Some part of Natasha was still having trouble that Yelena actually seemed to mean what she said to Natasha.

She knew how she must have looked to Yelena. She had to have appeared weak and worthless. After all, the Red Room taught them that tears, similarly to love, were for children. Natasha saw her tears as weakness, and she had been out of the Red Room for years now. Yelena was not so far removed from their past, so she likely saw it as weakness even more strongly than Natasha even.

The funny thing was that Natasha never saw Yelena's tears as any sort of weakness. It just made her want to curl around the blonde and wrap her in her arms to shield her from the cruelty of the world and anything else that could make her cry.

Could it maybe be that Yelena saw Natasha's tears in the same manner? Natasha was almost afraid to consider the possibility, feeling that the idea was too farfetched to realistically entertain as a potential truth.

And yet Yelena had said she loved her. Natasha, by some miracle, had somehow managed to convince herself that it was true and that Yelena might could actually feel that way to some degree. However, a part of Natasha was afraid that she might just be giving into some of her most wishful thoughts and that Yelena was just taking pity on her.

If that were true, though, then why would Yelena be willing to touch her so much? To share this physical connection with her? Natasha was afraid that it could be a sense of obligation, but she knew how discouraged physical contact was in the Red Room, so she almost felt that the touch was something that Yelena actually wanted from her.

Natasha almost felt ridiculous for being so scared and analytic when it came to all of this, but she was just so scared that she was going to mess things up again. She could not screw up and lose Yelena all over again. Natasha would never forgive herself even if she did not deserve her baby sister. She loved her dearly and was too selfish to let her just go and move on.