MATED TO SERIES COLLECTION

31. LARA: NUMB

One week later. . .

Silas was in a coma.

The doctors couldn't tell us if he would ever be able to wake up again. There might be a chance of him waking up but they couldn't guarantee it. For all we knew Silas would never wake up again and then we'd have to turn off the machines that were keeping him alive. Valeria had informed me that his arm that was so badly wounded, had suffered nerve damage.

Maybe if I had managed to change his mind the attack would never have happened. All I was thinking about was Ethan watching us in the kitchen. I should've made up some excuse to stay at home, but I was too curious about him. I wanted all my questions answered.

My eyes darted over Silas's face and then down his body. Various machines were connected to his body. I hate seeing him like this. I couldn't even press my lips to his because of the ventilator he was connected to. I so badly wanted to hear his voice. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and hug me tight.

I sighed and leaned forward to rest my forehead against his hand. It was the only place I could touch him without pulling on the IV's and wires. His skin was colder and paler than it used to be.

"I don't know how much longer I'd be able to handle this," I whispered. "I want you to wake up. I need you to wake up for me. Can you hear me Silas? Please wake up."

I allowed the tears to slip over and soak his skin. Pain tightened my chest. I wanted to tell him that we lost our baby but I was scared that the news might worsen his condition. Images flashed through my mind of what would've been if my pregnancy progressed up until it was time to give birth. It only made me cry harder.

The doctor had assured me that I would be able to get pregnant again. It just wouldn't be the same. This would've been my first child. Our first child.

"Lara?"

I sat up and turned away to wipe the tears from my cheeks. Sniffing, I risked a glance in the direction of the door. Valeria hovered in the doorway. She gave me a hesitant smile before she pushed the door open a little further to step inside the room. Her eyes darted down to the bed to her son. It looked like she had managed to get some sleep last night.

"How are you?" she asked after a while.

I shrugged and reached out to grip Silas's hand again. Talking to anyone but Silas was the last thing I wanted to do. Valeria sighed as she sunk down on the chair across from me on the other side of the bed. She carefully reached out and placed her hand on his stomach. My eyes darted up to her when she kept silent only to find her already watching me.

"It gets a little easier with each day," she surprised me by saying. "I know it feels like a part of your heart was ripped out, but it'll get better after a while. You'll never completely forget but it'll get easier to think about it without bursting into tears." She swallowed as she glanced at Silas.

"My mother died during child birth and my father soon after in battle. My aunt took charge of me after the Alpha ordered her too. No one else was willing to take me in—not even my aunt. I'm not going into much detail about what it was like before I came here. I was seventeen when I met David and Devon. I was scared and curious. They made me feel things I've never felt before."

"Why were you scared?" I asked softly when curiosity got the best of me.

"I never really spent much time around other shifters until I came here. My old pack did anything to ignore me. I actually like being on my own, but things changed when I came here. I was kind of forced to climb out of my box—especially when they asked me to be their mate."

"Asked you?"

"Some Lycan's are lucky enough to find their true mates and others choose a mate. I didn't know that they were my true mates until the bond between us grew stronger. A lot of people weren't happy about it and it caused a lot of problems." She sighed. "They send me away as soon as we found out that I was pregnant."

My eyes snapped up to hers. Her lips tilted up but she didn't smile at me. Pain flashed through her beautiful eyes. Valeria ran a hand through her hair and blinked rapidly.

"I wasn't happy about the pregnancy, Lara. I hated being pregnant. I hated having morning sickness and not being able to do the things I usually would." Valeria glanced back at me. "I lost the baby. I hated myself for that. I blamed myself for what had happened to our first child."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Do you still blame yourself?"

She shook her head. "My mates made sure that I understood the fact that it wasn't my fault. We weren't ready to be parents then."

I glanced back at Silas. Licking my lips, I thought back to what she said. Valeria knew exactly what I was feeling and so did David and Devon. It's why they've been so sympathetic and supportive. They knew what it felt like to lose a child.

"Everything happens for a reason, Lara. It might feel like hell but remember that there's always light at the end of the tunnel."

We sat in silence for what felt like hours. We were both lost in our own thoughts which were broken when there was a knock on the door. It opened a second later to reveal Devon. His eyes locked with mine before darting over to his mate and then his son. I watched as he swallowed. Valeria stood and walked over to him. Their soft voices drifted towards me but I couldn't hear what they were saying.

I jumped when someone placed a hand on my shoulder. Tilting my head back, I stared up at her with a frown.

"Come with me, Lara. Eat something, have a bath and then get some rest."

I was shaking my head even before she finished speaking. There was no way I was leaving Silas's side.

"I'll stay with him until you return," Devon spoke up. "I won't leave his side."

I bit my lip as hesitation washed through me. "P-Promise?"

"Promise."