MATED TO SERIES COLLECTION

39. ETHAN: MIDNIGHT KISSES A ONE MORE NIGHT

"Ethan?"

I tensed and slowly turned away from the window. Lara was the last person I expected to see standing there. She hesitated in the doorway of the study with her arms wrapped around her stomach and her eyes darting around the room.

"Go to bed, Lara," I ordered as I turned back around to face the window.

I listened attentively for her footsteps to fade away, but instead they got closer. My eyes fluttered closed when I sucked in a breath and her scent drifted towards me. She smelt like me, even if my scent was a little faint and Silas's scent dominated mine. I wished my scent was stronger though. I wished a lot of things that would never happen.

"Are you okay?"

I took another sip of brandy. A sigh fell from my lips when the alcohol burned down my throat. Alcohol didn't affect us. We couldn't get drunk and that sucked. I actually wished I could get wasted. The alcohol would've numbed the pain. My eyes dropped to the glass with a pinch of amber liquid still left. After a second's hesitation, I threw it back and headed to the bar for another refill.

Lara had moved to stand in front of the window where I had stood only moments ago. Her shoulders were slumped, and I noticed that she had dropped her arms to her side, giving me a clear view of her shaky hands. I bit my lip as I placed the glass down and slowly made my way towards her. I stopped behind her but left enough space between us for her to walk away if she wanted too.

"The baby wasn't his," I whispered. "It was mine."

She swallowed loudly. "Why did you say it was his?"

My eyes darted over her head to stare out the window. Why had I made it out like he was the one who did wrong? Because I was sick of trying to keep everything glued together. I reached up and gripped the braid that hung down her back. Lara didn't try to stop me when I tugged the hair tie out and started loosening the braid.

"I wanted to hurt him," I hesitated. "I wanted to hurt you."

"Why?"

There were a lot of things I could've said but I kept silent. Wall had ears and what I wanted to tell her might just land in the wrong hands. Lara sighed when I ran my hands through her hair. My fingers brushed against the nape of her neck. I wanted to pull her against me and bury my nose against her neck. I wanted to hold her tight and promise that I wouldn't ever hurt her again. But I couldn't because it would happen again. I would hurt her again.

"Was it all a lie?" Lara asked. "Everything you did and said to me, was it all a lie?"

My hands dropped to my side when she turned around to face me. Lara tilted her head up, making my eyes drop to the crook of her neck. My mark was dark against her pale skin. I itched to reach out and touch it, but I didn't.

I clenched my fist and took a small step back.

"Ethan?"

This was my chance to push her away. To tell her that everything I had said were lies. My lips parted but I quickly slammed my mouth closed. I shook my head and leaned closer. Her eyes instantly dropped to my lips, making my stomach clench. Was she thinking about kissing me?

"It wasn't a lie," I whispered.

Her eyes filled with tears. "It hurts when you and Silas fight. It hurts to see you with Avery, kissing and everything."

Swallowing, I turned and walked over to the door. After glancing out into the hall to make sure that no one was around, I closed the door and locked it. Lara was frowning. I ignored her and walked over to the desk. Leaning over it, I flicked on the lamp and then walked back to the door to switch off the main lights.