ROGUE

34 : Apart

Your POV
I began walking back to the truck, I needed nothing but space right now.

"Y/n, stop it." Jason said, I felt his breath on the back of my neck as he walked closely behind me, but his voice sounded miles away. Just like my memories.
"Would you just let me explain?"
He continued.

There was nothing to explain.
I had heard it all and I understood.
I was suddenly slammed up against the side of the wall.
"Don't ever fucking walk away from me." Jason said, pinning me up so I was unable to move.
There was something different about him, there was no anger left in his eyes.

Just pain.

"Please listen to me, Y/n." He begged.

I bit my lip to stop the tears falling.
"You built me up and broke me down. I don't want to listen to anything you have to say. I finally have feelings for you Jason, this is what you wanted. After we kissed in that wall, I thought things would be different, I thought you would care." I admitted.

Jason clenched his jaw and looked at the ground.
"You didn't mean it. You're just trying to make me feel better." He croaked.

I looked at him, my face was scrunched up in pain.
"What? Of course I meant it, I wouldn't have done it if I didn't. But now you're walking away. You've hurt me." I snapped, pushing with all my strength to get out of his grip, but he wouldn't move.

"I'm not walking away. And I'm never going to. You've been in my life for years now. But, yesterday-" Jason took a shaky breath. "I realised how much you really mean to me. And I can't lose you."

I shook my head and looked away as a single tear slipped down my cheek.
"You can't give me my old life back. That's something you took and it can't be replaced." My voice cracked and Jason traced the line where my tear had fell.

"I just don't want to hurt you, Y/n." He whispered. His lips brushed mine as he spoke.

I choked on my tears.
"You don't think this hurts? You're wrong." I croaked and pushed him once more.

He let go of me and took a step back, as if I had slapped him.
"Where are you going?" He called after me as I began to walk.

"The truck. I want to be alone right now." I admitted.

Jason didn't follow me, as much as I secretly wanted him to. I opened up the truck and sat on the floor. Burying my head in my knees and sobbing.

All my emotions building up bursting. I should have known this would happen.
The truck door opened only moments after, my head was still down, and I was unwilling to look up.

"I said I wanted to be alone." I snapped. I felt Jason sit down next to me and he sighed, not managing to say a single word.
We sat there for at least a minute, in a deafening silence.
I wanted to be anywhere else right now.
No.
I wanted to be alone inside the closet.
"Please go." I whimpered.

"Y/n, I know this is hard." He said.

I froze.
It wasn't Jason's voice.
It was softer and filled with less pain.
I looked up to see Alex. Dry blood was smeared around his nose from where Jason had punched him.

"I don't understand. I don't understand any of this. I want my mom. I want my dad," I sobbed harder. "I want to go home."

Alex touched my back lightly. "I knew he would hurt you." Alex admitted.

"So what's going to happen now?" I was afraid to ask, but the question slipped out my mouth. Alex licked his lips slowly.

"We need the files. So I guess we'll just go looking for them. A few members of the damnation live in Lockhart." He explained.

I squeezed my eyes shut. "What about after that?" The words barely came out.

Alex shuddered. "I don't know."

"He kidnapped me and now he doesn't want me. So what am I gonna be? His fucking housekeeper?"

The door suddenly opened and Jason walked in. His expression darkened.
"Get away from her." He snapped.

Alex stood up. "We were just talking. Chill." He replied.

"I don't give a fuck what you were doing. I told you to get away from her." He repeated.

Alex rolled his eyes and took a seat.

Jason came up to me and offered me a hand. "We're going to Lockhart. You can't sit on the floor all the way there." He said as everyone else got in the truck.

"I'm quite happy sitting here." I argued, wiping my eyes.

Jason shot me a warning look.
"Y/n-"

"What? What the hell are you gonna do about it, Jason? Chain me up the way you did when you kidnapped me? Or maybe purposely make me catch feelings for you and then you suddenly stop caring." I yelled.

Everyone turned from their seats to look at me. Jason crouched down.
"You know it's not like that."

"Shut the fuck up, that's what it feels like."
I snapped, suddenly growing a backbone.

Jason shook his head. "Don't talk to me like that," he said through gritted teeth, his eyes blazed with anger, but he managed to calm himself with a sigh. "I wish you would understand." He said.

I nodded. "Oh I understand perfectly. The news always said killing people was your specialty. I never knew it meant physically and emotionally."

"Y/n, I love you. Okay?" He said, taking my face into his palms.

I flinched away. "Don't do this to me. I'm already hurting." I told him.

Jason looked at me for a moment as if he was about to say something, but he got up slowly and offered his hand once again.
I took it and he hauled me up from the floor.
"We need to properly talk about this." He mumbled.

I shook my head. "We've talked enough." I said, before sliding my hand out of his and taking a black leather seat without looking back at him.
My thoughts and emotions eating away at my heart.

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