ROGUE

13 : Losing Him

Your POV

We stood in front of each-other in the hotel lobby only hours after we finally and officially ended our long-term relationship. We both looked and felt a mess - eyes red, puffy and swollen from all the crying, and hearts completely broken in ways both of us knew were unrepairable.
Jason had tried to convince me to stay living in our old house and that he would move out and find somewhere else, but I knew that the memories we shared inside that building would tear me apart and strip me of my remaining sanity.
Jason had also offered to give me fifty-thousand dollars to support me in whatever I needed until I felt mentally stable enough to find myself a job. At first, I declined but he refused to let me leave until he knew I would be safe.
The fact that we both still cared for each other made this whole thing so much harder.

"Have you got everything?" Jason looked down at the suitcases that were piled at my feet, but by the unsteadiness of his voice, I knew he was only looking away to conceal the tears that were undoubtedly pooling in his eyes.

I nodded. "I think so." I whispered, before pressing my lips together in a tight line to keep any sobs from escaping my mouth. I didn't want to cry, but it was difficult not to. We were doing this again... but this time, it was for real.
I waited until he looked back up at me before I spoke again, and when he did, the agony embedded into his features made my stomach twist and my heart ache. "This has been one hell of a ride, Jason." I tried to force a laugh through the pain in my voice and the tears in my eyes, but it only intensified the unbearable pain in my chest and I couldn't imagine it ever going away.

Jason forced a laugh as well, but it distracted him from controlling his tears and pearl shaped water droplets rolled slowly down his flawless cheeks. He looked at me helplessly and nodded. "As promised."
I allowed him to reach down and cup my damp cheeks in his hands, and it felt like my whole body wrenched when his forehead gently touched mine. His voice shook and it was difficult to make out what he was saying, but it was enough. "You deserve the world, Y/n. You deserve happiness, safety and a love that isn't going to hurt you."

My breath hitched. "That kind of love doesn't exist, Jason." I choked out, trying my best not to break down in front of him.

"Hear me out, Y/n," He whispered, delicately wiping away a tear that had escaped my eye. "You made me the happiest I had ever been in my life, and I'll never forget that. No one is ever going to replace you, and nothing can ever replace the feeling you gave me. I love you and I always will."

I took hold of his wrists and held them tightly in my hands. I knew that this would be the last of the contact we would ever share, and that there was nothing I could do about it. "I love you too." I whimpered, unable to control the flow of tears coming from my pain-filled eyes. "Take care of yourself for me, okay?"

Jason pulled away and tried to force himself to smile again, but the tears that were stained on his cheeks and glistening in his eyes gave away exactly how hard this was for him. "No promises."

When our skin broke contact, I feared I would never touch him again. I feared I would never get to feel the incredible buzz he always used to give me. I feared I would be numb.

I wanted to say something more, but by the time I found my voice, Jason was already walking towards the glass doors to disappear from my life one last time.
I couldn't call after him, I couldn't say his name and I couldn't connect.
This was it.
The end of our story...

This was me losing him.

Just when I thought our eyes would never again meet, he turned around to say my name for the final time. "Y/n?"

My breath hitched. "Yeah?"

Another pained smile attempted to tug at his perfect lips and his glossy eyes once again made me feel like home. His last words to me were the words that made me cling on to every upcoming moment and have some sort of hope to ever feel the same way Jason had made me feel before.

"I'll see you again."

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Thanks for reading

ITS NOT THE END
I REPEAT
ITS NOT THE END