ROGUE

74 : Love Hurts

Jason's POV

"I'm going out." I pulled on my leather jacket and rolled up the sleeves. "Don't wait up."

Y/n stared at me in some sort of disbelief as she sat at the table, clutching a full cup of coffee in her pale hands. She had made it about an hour ago, and had probably lost track of time whilst waiting for it to cool down.
By now, it must've been stone cold.

"You're going out now?" She mumbled, her blood-shot eyes flickered over to the clock on the wall. Both of the hands were pointing at the number eight, which refused her obvious argument of it being too late.
She looked back over at me, her expression desperate and pleading. "Do you have to?"

"Yeah." I mumbled, fixing my hoodie from underneath my jacket and pulling the hood over my head, covering my hair which I just hadn't been bothered to style. "You should try and get some sleep."

She hadn't slept at all since we got back from the hospital, and that was three nights ago.
She had also denied any kind of support systems that the doctors had offered, trying to convince everyone that she was fine.
She had just suffered from a miscarriage.
She was definitely not fine.

"I can't sleep." She stared down into her cup, before sighing and resting her chin on her hand, after a moment, she looked back up at me. "What time will you get back?"
She didn't ask where I was going, nor what I was doing, but she asked for the time of my return, which made me realise how much she needed my comfort.

If only I knew how to give it.

"I don't know." I shrugged, striding over to her and taking the mug from her quivering hands.
I poured the coffee down the sink, watching blankly as the plug hole swallowed the pale brown liquid. "I'll be back before tomorrow evening."

"What?" Y/n stood up quickly and the legs of the chair screeched against the floor. She hadn't moved for an hour, and she was clearly unstable. "Why are you going for so long?" She croaked. I glanced over my shoulder at her, taking in how disoriented and broken she really looked.

"I've got things to do." I spun around and took a few steps towards her, wrapping my arms around her waist and gently pulling her to my chest. "I'll be as quick as I can, I promise."

If I told her what I was about to do, I knew she would try to convince me to stay.
Her heart was too pure.

She searched my eyes, and I saw the pain in hers. Eventually, she let out a small sigh. "Okay." She whispered, giving in. "But please be careful."

I nodded. "I will."
I felt her hands sliding around my waist, and she cleverly made her way to the place where I usually kept my gun. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly when she realised it wasn't there, and panic filled her eyes.

"Where are you going?"

"Please don't worry, Y/n." I sighed, fully aware about what she was thinking. I wasn't offended that she thought I was going out to a club, to probably end up with a new girl in my bed.
Those were my old ways.
"I'm going out for a job, nothing else."

She looked lost for a moment, before she slid out of my grip and sank back into the kitchen chair. "Why are you going on missions already, especially at a time like this?" She questioned, a slight tone of bitterness etching it's way into her voice.

"This is just something I've got to do, it's important." I said, before spinning on my heel and heading towards the door before she could ask anymore questions. "I'll see you later." I mumbled, before pulling on the handle and stepping outside.

It was going to be a long night.

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If I made a sound, I would be caught and arrested for trespassing.
I was in Bella's house, thanks to the open window in the kitchen, and now I was lingering in the corridor like a ghost, leaning up against the white plastered wall, which was decorated with photo frames.

I was listening carefully.

Bella's whole family were in the living room, probably around six feet away from me.
They were accompanied by two police officers, who were questioning the night Will died.

I peered through the crack in the door, holding my breath so that the sound of my breathing wouldn't be so audible.
Bella's mom looked awful, and she was sobbing into a tissue, with her husband's arm wrapped around her. Bella's two other brothers had an expression stained with stone, and Bella looked completely broken.
But even after observing the pain that I had caused this family, I didn't feel any guilt for what I did.

I had been standing here for at least half an hour, thirsty for the knowledge that I needed, and every time an officer asked an irrelevant question, my patience grew thinner.

"Do you know the name of the boy who was attacked after your son's death?" One of the officer's asked.

My attention focused further, and I strained my ears to make out the blabbering words of Bella's mom, who was choking back sobs.
"Yes, he was Will's closest friend, Archie Foster. He showed up at our house the day after the incident with flowers, he told us that Will was stabbed by a man, who is apparently Y/n's boyfriend. Y/n was staying at our house for a while, but then she just disappeared after a party that she went to, and we haven't seen her since."

Bella seemed to stiffen at the sound of Y/n's name, and her eyes collected with tears.
She knew that I was the one who killed her brother, but she stayed silent and loyal.
As if on queue, her head raised and her eyes met mine, at the sight of me, a tear escaped her left eye and rolled slowly down her cheek.

My breath hitched, and my mind went blank.
I'm sorry, I mouthed.

She took a shuddering breath and looked past the fact that I was literally trespassing.
Go to the bathroom, she mouthed back.
Then she tapped her dad on his shoulder.
"I need to go to the toilet, can I be excused?" She asked uneasily.

He simply nodded and she stood up.
I took that as my queue to back away into the corridor and I made my way to the downstairs bathroom.
Once there, I was only waiting around twenty seconds before she joined me and locked the door behind her.
"What are you doing here, Jason?" She asked, keeping her distance.

"I need to know where Archie Foster lives." I said, barely able to hold eye contact with her. "Do you know?"

"Of course I know." She crossed her arms and tears collected in her eyes. "But I won't tell you, you killed my brother and I don't want you to kill his friend too." She whispered. "Do you know how hard it is to pretend I don't know that you're the one who murdered Will?" Her voice raised a little, but kept it quiet enough so that her parents wouldn't be able to hear.

"I know, and I'm grateful that you haven't given my name but - "

"Don't think I'm doing it for you, Jason." Her voice cracked and she shook her head. "I'm doing it for Y/n. It wouldn't be fair on her if you were in jail, nor would it be fair on the baby."

"Archie killed the baby." My jaw clenched and my heart tore. "Which is why I need his address."

Bella's expression twisted from pain to shock.
"What?" She asked as if she hadn't heard me.

"The baby died." Bitterness dripped from my tone. "And it's Archie's fault."

Bella brought her hand up to her mouth. "What happened?" 

"I don't have much time, Bella." I shook my head and my fists naturally clenched in frustration.

She hesitated for a moment, before choking back a sob and fixing her blue eyes on the floor.
"He lives on Gordon Road, house number 31." She whimpered, biting her lower lip. "Now please go before someone sees you."

I sighed a breath of relief. "Thank you." I said, before gently pulling her into a friendly hug. "And I'm sorry."

She let herself feel it, and took shaky breaths against the thick black material of my hoodie.
"You did what you had to do." She mumbled, squeezing her eyes shut. "Just promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"You hurt so many people," She said without caring what my reaction could've been. "But please don't hurt Y/n. Not again. She doesn't deserve it."

I held my breath. "I know."

But sometimes, love hurts.

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