ROGUE

35 : Hurt

Your POV
I hated Lockhart.
We arrived three days ago and I felt nothing but miserable.

The only house we could get at such a short notice was an ugly bungalow. It had three bedrooms, one bathroom and a kitchen connected to the living room.

Jason said it was only temporary until we could find a better place.
But I had completely isolated myself, locked away in one of the rooms, unwilling to come out.
Unwilling to give Jason the chance to hurt me anymore than he already had.

I always had trust issues when it came down to guys.
I had been hurt too many times, my last ex boyfriend had slapped me at a party and kissed my best friend.
Jason had killed him.
My heart ached.
All the other boyfriends I had, I had literally watched them walk away.
Knowing that Jason did the same thing tore me apart.

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." I croaked.

Alara and Kaine entered the room and they sat on the edge of the bed.

"Y/n...we're worried about you." Kaine said.
I scoffed.
Worry.
Yeah right.

"It's true. You haven't left this disgusting room since we got here, and you've barely eaten." Alara said softly.

I squeezed my eyes shut, the death of my parents had become harder to deal with other these last few days.
Maybe because I knew the guy I was falling for was responsible.

I pressed my palms to my eyes and sniffed. "I'm fine." I said.

At that moment, I wanted to feel Jason's hands on my shoulders.
I wanted him to shake me and force me to look at him.
And then I wanted him to say 'I know you're not'.

But Jason didn't care enough to do that. He was literally in the next room, and he couldn't even be bothered to see if I was okay.

"Y/n, is this about Jason?" Alara asked.

I nodded slowly, feeling my eyes burn.
I felt a hand on my knee, I opened my eyes to see it was Kaine's.
"He loves you. I promise."

I shook my head. "That's the thing with you people. You don't know what love is."

Kaine looked down awkwardly and he cleared his throat.
"We're meeting Luke at a club tonight, he's a member of the damnation. He could have the files. You coming?" Kaine asked.

I glared at him. "No."
I remembered Luke.
His brother had tried to rape me the night I had met Jason.
His dad tried to kill Jason when he passed out on the way back from the hospital.
And he wanted me.
Great.

I rested my elbows on my knees, Kaine took a deep breath.
"Jason wants you to-"

"I don't care what he wants."

Kaine looked at me for a second and then sighed.
"Okay." He whispered and left the room.

I leaned back on the headboard and Alara sighed.
"Y/n... I don't know what you want us to do. Jason loves you and I know he does." Alara said.

I shook my head. "I think you mean he liked me, and then decided that he didn't so he hurt me." I spat.

Alara angled her eyebrows sympathetically. "That's not how it is." She whispered.

"That's exactly how it is."

--------------

I stayed in the room for another day, I listened to the muffled voices outside, trying to block them out.
But I couldn't.
The door creaked open and Jason walked in.
I hugged my knees closer to my chest, as if I was trying to shield my heart.

"Y/n, I need you with us tonight, more than any night." He said softly, sitting on the end of my bed.

"That's what you said last time, and look what happened. You broke me." I whispered.

Jason froze and crinkled up his face.
"I didn't mean-"

"It doesn't matter any more."

I covered my face with my hands but felt Jason shifting uncomfortably.
"Y/n, we need those files. Something could happen to you." Jason said.

I shook my head. "I don't care."

"I do."
I felt Jason sit beside me and his hand touched my back lightly.
"Look at me, Y/n." He whispered.
I shook my head, feeling the tears that I didn't even realise were falling slip through the gaps in between my fingers.
"Please." He said.

I hesitated and slowly took my hands away. Jason leaned in, his lips almost touching mine. We were so close, but still so far apart.

"I never meant to hurt you." He whispered.

"And I never meant to fall for you." I replied, squeezing my eyes shut.

Jason pulled back.
"You're just saying that."

I shook my head as another tear escaped from my eye.

"I'm not." I choked. I started sobbing. Everything was coming apart. I had no family, no home, and Jason didn't want anything between me and him anymore.

I tensed as Jason pulled me into his chest. "Shh. Don't cry, Y/n." He soothed, stroking my hair.

I pushed him away.
"Don't do that. I'll come tonight, but don't expect me to be anywhere near you." I whimpered.

Jason's eyes filled with hurt.
"Y/n-"

"No. I don't want to hear it." I snapped, getting up off the bed and straightening out my t-shirt.

I had nothing left, just an empty heart.
I couldn't afford to let him hurt me anymore.

---------------

Thanks for reading.

lol ik it's dramatic but idc