Interns at FC Barcelona

Chapter 47: Understanding

I still couldn’t understand what had happened. Cesc treated me like a totally different person. The door opened and in walked Elena looking apologetic and ashamed.

“Jade, I’m sorry,” she began to say.

“Elena-,” I said but she carried on.

“No, you were right. I am such an idiot, I should have listened to you,” she said.

“Maybe, but it doesn’t give you a good enough reason for all the things you said to me,” I told her.

“I know-,” she said.

“No you don’t, you really hurt me Elena,” I told her.

“Jade,” she said, her voice sympathetic.

“And the scary thing was, maybe you’re right,” I said to her sadly.

“Are you crazy?” she said sitting in front of me, “I was wrong to say all of that to you,” she said.

“You said it with such feeling,” I said feeling myself start to get emotional. Elena could tell and she dropped her guard.

“ I was jealous,” she said honestly.

“Of what?” I asked her confused.

“Of you,” she said.

“I don’t understand,” I told her.

“You won’t,” she said with a smile, “You never see who you really are. None of us do.” I was still confused with what she was telling me.

“How could you be jealous of me?” I said.

“Because you’re independent. Do you know how many girls wish they could have that quality but they don’t? You don’t need a guy to tell you you’re worthy you know that already. You don’t just give in to anyone, you want respect and you want what’s best for you. You’re strong Jade, you are not scared of being alone. Me? I’m scared and I wanted to believe so badly that someone like Marc cared about me especially after all my previous relationships. You’re kinda lucky you don’t have baggage. You care so much about people sometimes more than yourself and they don’t treat you right,” she paused, “ I didn’t treat you right.”

“Well you’re wrong,” I told her, “I am scared of being alone, I mean in the future.”

“Well you shouldn’t be, you’ll find someone perfect for you,” she said.

“I’m not sure I will,” I said to her.

“You will because you know what’s really important to you and you care about people genuinely,” she said, “With the type of person you are, life is bound to grant you with the perfect soul mate,” she said.

“And if it doesn’t?” I asked her.

“Well, you don’t need anyone to make you happy, you make yourself happy. Something we all need to learn,” she said thinking, “And please tell me I told you so,” Elena said to me.

“I don’t understand, what sparked this whole change in you?” I asked her.

“Honestly? I had a piece of me that kept wondering about Marc but I chose to ignore it. I only saw what I wanted too. Then yesterday, after what you said I still refused but then Thiago told me and I knew it was true and that I couldn’t deny it anymore,” she said, “I was going to tell you when I came home but-,” she said stopping.

“I spoke,” I said to her.

“You had every right to say what you did yesterday Jade, you were right. Plus, I just showed Marc’s girlfriend where the field was this morning and I saw her make out with Marc right in front of me,” she said.

“Elena,” I said feeling sorry for her.

“Don’t tell me that you’re sorry, tell me I told you so or that I deserve it, because I guess I do,” she said.

“Elena you know I can’t tell you that. I didn’t want you to get hurt, that’s all,” I told her.

“I know but I hurt you Jade and that’s something I never wanted to do. I am so sorry, I’m stupid and impulsive. I’m such an idiot for thinking a guy like Marc will like me. Who am I kidding? All the guys I’ve dated dumped me.  I’ve never been good enough for any of them. You are logical and you think. Sometimes I really wish I possessed some of your characteristics. Maybe then someone would actually want to stay with me,” she said to me. That was a compliment. No one had ever told me they were jealous of me or wanted to be something that I was. It also made me realize why she pushed this Marc thing so hard. It wasn’t really for Marc either, it was more her idea of Marc. It was from all the wounds of her previous relationships and she thought that this time it might be different. She thought that this time someone would accept her for her.

“Elena, what makes us is our characteristics,” I said.

“Yeah well I have one called “screwing-up everything”,” she said and I smiled.

“Well the funny thing is sometimes I wish I was more like you,” I said and she looked at me surprised.

“Really? Me?” she asked.

“Yeah, sometimes I wish I had the confidence to tell people what I really feel. You’re lucky you can do that. And Elena you’ll find someone that will love you for who you are,” I told her and I knew at that point we were not different at all. We both just wanted to find someone that loved us for who we were. Isn’t that what we all wanted? When she said all those hurtful things to me, she was thinking about herself, she didn’t mean to attack me, she just projected everything towards me.

“I am so sorry Jade,” she said to me and I knew she meant it.

“I know,” I told her as she smiled.

“Please punch me in the face if I ever say things like that to you ever again,” she said.

“I will keep that in mind,” I told her. We were silent for a few moments just happy we were back to being friends.

“And Cesc? I’m kinda jealous of that too,” she said to me.

“What do you mean?” I asked her.

“You’re lucky, he likes you,” she said.

“Elena,” I said and I could tell we were back to normal.

“Deny it all you want but you know I’m right,” she said.

“Not after this morning,” I said, “I’m just “an employee.””

“What do you mean?” she asked and I was so happy I had my best friend back. I told her everything.

“It’s so obvious Jade,” she said to me.

“What is?” I asked her.

“He didn’t want his girlfriend to know there is something between you two!” she said.

“But there isn’t,” I said.

“Really? Then why didn’t he tell his girlfriend that you’re his friend,” she asked skeptically.

“I don’t know,” I said, “That’s why I’m confused.”

“Ok well I have to go but I’ll see you later ok?” she said.

“Ok,” I said. I sighed, it seemed I finally got my one friend back but with Cesc it seems I might have lost one.