Destiel One-shots

Princess

Dean stomped into the bunker's library and plunked down in a chair, scowling at the world.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, glancing up from his books and raising an eyebrow.

"Cas and I are fighting." Dean offered. Sam immediately shoved all his books off the table.

"THE SHIP IS ENDANGERED!" He yelled out. "Go apologize to Cas!"

"What? No." Dean insisted. "I'm not the one whop should apologize- Cas is!

"Dean, whatever it is, I'm 98% positive it was your fault. Now go fix it."

"It wasn't my fault! Cas is the one who took the stupid crown in the first place!" Sam paused.

"Hang on.....What were you fighting over?"

"You remember when we worked a case with Charlie at that Renaissance fair, and she gave me her crown?"

"And we laughed and called you a princess? Yeah."

"Well, Cas found the crown in my closet and thought it was the funniest thing ever."

"Okay."

"And then I told him that you guys called me a princess, and that bastard put on MY crown and said he was the princess."

".....And?"

"And so we got in this huge fight over who's the princess in our relationship."

"IT'S ME!" Cas yelled out. "I'M THE MOTHER-FUCKING PRINCESS!"

"QUOTING AVRIL LAVIGNE DOESN'T STRENGTHEN YOUR ARGUMENT!" Dean yelled back. "IT's MY crown, therefore I'M the princess!"

Sam covered his face with his hands, unable to keep a straight face- or, a gay face, since nothing in the Winchester's world is straight.

Cas pranced into the room, the crown sitting firmly on his head.

"Yeah, but the crown belongs to the more badass person in the relationship, and that's me."

"No it's not!"

"I controlled a garrison!"

"I stopped the apocalypse!"

"I was god!"

"I had the Mark of Cain!"

"I was possessed by Lucifer!"

"I was possessed by Michael!"

"I went to Purgatory!"

"So did I! And I went to hell too!"

"I pulled you out of hell!"

"I killed Abbadon!" They glared at each other.

"I came out of closet first!" Cas shot back.

"I've wasn't afraid sex with more then two people!" The glaring continued and Sam sighed.

"You're BOTH pretty badass- get over it!" He yelled at them. "And besides, the princess is stereotypically the less powerful one, although we all know that's not really true."

"The less manly one, you might say?" Cas asked.

"Exactly."

"Well then the princess is you, Dean." Cas gave in, handing him the crown.

"Wait really? Why?" Dean questioned.

"Because I top." Cas shrugged, spinning on his heels and flouncing out of the room, leaving Dean red-faced.

"Uh-" Sam started.

"Not. One. Word. Samuel." Dean offered, setting the crown on his head and walking out.