Destiel One-shots

Cas Does The Chores

"I have to ask," Mary said as she sat around the bunker's kitchen table with Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack. They paused, waiting for Mary's question. "This place is ridiculously big, and there's always at least the four of you living in here,"

"And?" Dean questioned.

"Who cleans?" Mary asked. "Who does laundry and dusts and all that stuff? Hell, there's a reason why hunters always stay in hotels- because somebody always does the cleaning for you. But nobody does that here, so who keeps this place clean?"

"Me," Cas declared. Mary raised an eyebrow. She hadn't expected the angel to by the type to do domestic chores. "I do all the chores. I dust, do the laundry, run the vacuum, fix any tears in their beloved plaid shirts, the list goes on."

"But when do you even have the time? The hunting life is so busy,"

"Angels don't sleep," Cas reminded her. "So after watching all of Netflix and seeing a decent amount of YouTube videos, I just started doing chores that the boys never seemed to get to. It's a good system. I have something to keep me occupied while everyone else is asleep, and the boys always have clean clothes to wear. Simple."

"And you never feel like the boys are just dumping all their chores on you?" Mary questioned. Cas paused.

"Hey, we don't do that," Dean objected.

"It's not like we even ask him to do the chores," Sam went on. 

"Just once," Cas admitted. "But I got them back, so we're even."

"Story time?" Mary asked. Sam and Dean facepalmed.

"All day long, they had been badgering me," Cas declared. "If I could fix this shirt, wash this jacket but it's not supposed to be dried, sow this button back on, take out the trash, iron these clothes, clean the bathroom- on and on. And this was the day that Stranger Things season two hit Netflix, so I wasn't planning on doing chores that night anyways because I wanted to binge the show instead."

"Make sense," Mary said.

"So I was a little mad at them, and we got into a little fight."

"And Cas completely won," Dean admitted.

"Well, not true. I lost the verbal fight, but then that night, when they were all fast asleep, I took a page out of the YouTube book and got my revenge."

"Oh no," Mary said. "What did you do?" They all paused, remembering.

****

It was 1 am in the bunker, and Cas stood outside the hallway that had Sam and Dean's rooms in it. He had two metal pans in his hands, and he started prancing down the hallways, smashing them together and yelling as loud as he could.

"I AIN'T GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF Y'ALL!! Y'ALL NOT GONNA SLEEP CAUSE OF ME!!!" And then Dean had emerged from his room, looking pissed off.

"Cas, you don't even sleep!" He snapped, tired. Cas paused, thinking, and then resumed banging the pans.

"I AIN'T SEEN STRANGER THINGS CAUSE OF Y'ALL, Y'ALL NOT GONNA SLEEP CAUSE OF ME!!!" Dean groaned and went back to his room, slamming the door shut.

*****

"....Remind me to never anger Castiel," Mary said. The angel smiled wickedly.

"You should see what I do to Dean when he pisses me off," He commented slyly.

"What-"

NOPE," Dean declared. "NOPE, you do not need to hear about that, let's go Cas." He dragged the angel out of the room before he could do anymore damage.