Destiel One-shots

Prank War

A/N: Shout out to Puppylove36 for inspiring this part!

Prank wars between Sam and Dean were common occurrences. Usually, they lasted about a week before both boys realized that they were too evenly matched for anyone to win, or they found someone new to prank together.

The current prank war between the brothers had turned the entire bunker upside down, and Cas was a little fearful for his life. It had all started on April fools day, but then the boys had erupted the day of pranks into a full out war.

Sam's hair was dyed green, Dean's cassette tapes of classic rock were replaced with Britney Spears and Gwen Stefani albums. Sam's room was covered in post-it notes, the entirety of the Impala had been coated in cotton balls, donuts were injected with mayonnaise and given to Sam, chicken nugget boxes filled with vegetables were given to Dean, Oreos had been filled with toothpaste, toilet paper had been replaced with duct tape, the list went on.

There seemed to be no end to the madness. But no matter how hard the boys pranked each other, Cas was always left out of the disasters. Sam understood that Cas was off limits, seeing as he was Dean's boyfriend. A prank on Cas would be the ultimate declaration of war, and Sam wasn't sure he could win against a furious Dean.

It was kinda fun, in Cas's opinion, to watch the boys prank each other. Plus, they sometimes needed a hand setting something up, so it was extra fun to know what was coming and wait for the prank to go off.

But while Dean was sneakily replacing all the hand sanitizer and soap in Sam's room with lubricant, Sam had a slightly bigger plan.

He had found a delightful little spell in one of the lore books. It was a mixture of herbs that, when it came into contact with someone, would force them to jump uncontrollably until a counter spell was said. 

Sam figured he could have a bit of fun with that one, although bringing magic into the game was a little risky.

He called Rowena to question the spell, and of course, he had to explain what he was using it for.

"That sounds positively hilarious!" Rowena exclaimed. "You have to tell me how it worked."

"But the ingredients are all the same?" Sam asked.

"Yes, yes, just be careful to keep the Angelica away from your handsome angel friend."

"Why?" Sam questioned, confused.

"Well, it's called the archangel's herb for a reason darling- it's practically poisonous to them. Enough of it could kill an average angel, I reckon. But the amount your using for this is at least enough to give him a nasty reaction. It's almost like being allergic to peanuts, I suppose. You'd have to give them Mugwort or something to stop it."

"Got it." They hung up, and Sam carefully mixed the spell together, hiding the herbs inside an unsuspecting sandwich. Knowing his brother, Sam stuck the sandwich in the fridge with a clearly labeled note that said  "Sam's sandwich- NOT FOR YOU, DEAN."

The moose smirked, knowing it would work like a charm, and Dean would be jumping like maniac in no time, begging to surrender from the prank war.

And judging by the strange difference in the soap in Sam's room, he hoped the war would be over soon enough.

*****

"We're back!" Dean called out through the bunker, heading to the kitchen to put the beer away. 

"He's probably planning another prank for you," Cas warned. Dean shrugged.

"I can handle anything he throws my way," The elder Winchester declared, storing the beer in the fridge. Outside the kitchen, Sam smirked, content to eavesdrop. Dean paused in the fridge, his eyes landing on Sam's sandwich. "Hello,"

"Isn't that Sam's sandwich?" Cas asked. Dean crumpled up the note and tossed it away.

"I see no proof of that," Dean countered. "Want half?" Cas shrugged. 

"Sure," He knew it was mean to eat Sam's food, but when Dean Winchester offered to share food with you, you didn't turn down the offer. It was a very rare occasion.

Sam's eyes widened. Cas couldn't eat the sandwich- it would be toxic to the poor angel!

"Wait a second," Dean said, suddenly wary. "What if Sam somehow pranked the sandwich, and labeled it as his because he'd knew I'd steal it?" Cas tilted his head.

"That does sound like a Sam thing to do," Sam held his breath. Maybe they'd be smart enough, and Cas would just put the sandwich down..... "I could taste it for you, just in case,"

"Okay." 

Crap.

"Cas wait-" Sam began, turning into the kitchen, but it was too late.

"Wait why?" Dean asked, suddenly suspicious as his head whipped towards his brother. As if to explain, Cas suddenly dropped to the floor.

"CAS?" Dean demanded, dropping beside the angel.

"Shit," Sam swore. What did Rowena say countered the effect of Angelica?

"What did you do?" Dean roared at him. Cas looked like something was strangling him. He clawed at his throat, gaping and trying to gasp for air, his eyes wild.

"It was just supposed to be a stupid joke!" Sam insisted. "But the stupid spell had Angelica in it, and Rowena said it was poisonous to angels, but I didn't think he was gonna eat it!"

"Well what STOPS it?!" Dean asked, panicked. 

"Uh, uh-Mage-Mor- MUGWORT! Mugwort stops it!" Sam scrambled out of the room, heading for the herbs.

"Cas?" Dean questioned, grabbing the angel's hand. "Just relax buddy, we're gonna fix it- we're gonna make it stop, just hang in there."

******

Two hours later, the prank war was officially over.

And Dean was officially pissed off at his brother.

Sam blamed himself if he was being honest. He should've used a spell that didn't have Angelica, just in case. But he didn't think, and now Cas had suffered for it.

Cas, who was currently curled up in a ball of blankets on a couch, Dean's arms wrapped protectively around him. The angel was fine, the Mugwort having stopped the effect of the Angelica, but it still freaked them out a little bit. Sam was pretty sure neither Cas nor Dean would eat a BLT ever again, or ever trust a sandwich made by Sam.

"I'm sorry," He apologized. Dean grunted, glaring at the wall. 

"It's alright, Sam, I forgive you." Cas insisted. "Just try not to poison me again, okay?"

"He shouldn't have poisoned you the first time," Dean commented, holding the angel a little closer. Sam sighed, wondering how long Dean would stay pissed.

"He'll get over it in a few hours," Cas offered. 

"No I won't- my brother just nearly murdered my boyfriend." Dean snapped. Sam looked wary, but Cas just rolled his eyes.

"He'll get over it." The angel repeated, cuddling closer to the eldest Winchester.

Sam rolled his eyes and headed for his room, figuring it was probably best to lay low.

There were about thirty angry texts from Charlie waiting for him, the angry red-head screaming about how her ship was in enough danger on a daily basis, and she didn't need to worry about poison sandwiches on top of it all. 

Sam ignored her and then there was a knock on the door.

"Yeah?" He asked. Someone stepped in, shut the door behind them. Sam glanced up in surprise, and the person slowly started to clap.

"Not bad, Samsquatch," Gabriel commented. "The poison was a little far, but only because I actually like Cassie and don't want him to die. Any other angel, and it'd be perfect."

"What are you doing here, Gabe?"

"I'm here, dear Sammich," The trickster announced. "Because your performance in the prank war was inspiring, and I think you're finally ready to be my apprentice, and learn about all the pranking possibilities there are in the world."

Sam raised an eyebrow.

"I'm in." He declared.