Destiel One-shots

It's Finally Broken

A/N: SEASON 14 SPOILERS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

ALSO KINDA ANGSTY

"There was an angel who took the shards of a broken man and pieced him back together and in doing so broke himself." 

Castiel didn't know what to do now. He had nothing now, and not even anyone to pray to to ask for help anymore.

Chuck had turned on them all, been the bad guy all along.

Jack was dead. His son was dead.

The world was ending, and on top of it all,

Dean had said he was dead to him.

How were you supposed to go back from that? What was he supposed to do?

Heaven had always given him a path, but he'd never been good enough for it. The other angels cared for him the way they all did for each other deep down, but they still considered him a screw up. Could never follow orders properly. Could never do the job the right way. He was like Lucifer, Raphael had spat at him once, a black sheep. Unwanted and too rebellious.

But then Castiel had broken away from heaven. Chosen the Winchesters and the humans instead. They had feelings, they had heart. They had a better sense of right and wrong. But even when Castiel tried his hardest to help them, he failed. They took him back and he failed again and again. 

The Leviathans, the angels falling, all the mistakes he had made when he was playing god, and countless others. He just couldn't get it right. He wasn't human. He didn't belong among them, and his mistakes only confirmed the fact. The longer he stayed around Sam and Dean, the bigger the problems he started became. 

Unwanted in heaven, hunted in Purgatory, hated in Hell, and distrusted on Earth. There was nowhere else for the angel to go. Nowhere else he was wanted.

He wasn't wanted. Castiel knew that.

He was a burden. A disgrace.

At one point in time, that had been different. He'd been a warrior, a hero, ruler of the garrison. 

He'd been a friend, dared to call family and brother, an ally worthy of love and trust.

Castiel wasn't sure where he'd lost that.

And he wasn't sure what part he wanted back.

In the past when he'd realized his mistakes, when he had acknowledged how everything he touched broke, Castiel had gone to God. He'd gone to Chuck, and told him his story. Whether Chuck had even been listening, he had no idea, but as an angel he had gone to him because Chuck was the one he trusted. 

He was the last resort everyone had.

But now he was gone, and Castiel needed to tell his story again. Confess his misdeeds, his regrets, mourn his losses and repair what he could without creating more destruction.

For a minute he thought about going to a priest confessional, just for the sake of knowing someone was listening. But being forced to listen to a clueless human tell him to have more faith in God only made him hurt more. Because Castiel had had faith. All the angel had. Lucifer had been banished, had fallen, for having too much faith, for crying out loud.

Castiel just had no one left to turn to. He was unwanted.

He now believed the same thing the angels had been thinking for centuries.