Destiel One-shots

Winchesters Don't Say "I Love You"

Winchesters don't say I love you.

Not since the day Mary died.

Because on that day, John Winchester's heart was shattered, and it never recovered. The loving dad that Dean had known had died- burnt up on the ceiling with his wife.

Love became almost a swear to John Winchester after that. The very word would sting at him, forcing memories of Mary back into his head- memories he just couldn't handle.

He could barely keep himself together now, as he and Dean stood before Mary's grave. His son had begged him to come, the child determined to see his mother one last time before John forced him and Sammy away from Lawrence, maybe forever.

Dean had picked some flower on their way through the cemetery, and the four year old twirled it in his hands, frowning as he stared at the headstone.

"We should go, Dean." John advised, not sure how much longer he'd be able to keep himself together. Dean stepped forward, carefully putting the flower on the ground before the headstone.

"We'll be back to visit, I promise." The child told the headstone. "I love you, Mommy." John stiffened.

"Don't you ever say that again." He growled, walking away. Dean's frown deepened, and he quickly touched the headstone before running after his father.

~~~~

Two years later, six year old Dean was watching his father, John not knowing he was even awake. 

They were in a cheap, crappy motel room in a state Dean didn't even know the name of. It was late at night, and Sammy was fast asleep in the other room. But Dean was wide awake, watching his father shakily take a drink from a bottle, tears on his face.

Hesitantly, Dean walked over, wordlessly approaching his father.

"You should be asleep." John told him, wiping the tears from his face. Dean's only response was to hug his dad, remembering how hugs used to comfort his mother.

"It's okay," He whispered. John paused. "It's okay, Dad- I love you."

John winced like he'd been slapped, any comfort gone as he shoved Dean away.

"Never say that word." He declared. "NEVER."

Dean never tried to comfort his father again.

~~~~~

"Goodnight Sammy," Eight year old Dean announced, tucking his little brother into bed in yet another cheap motel. John wasn't there, still out working, as far as Dean knew.

"Goodnight Dean," Sam said innocently. He paused, studying his brother.

"What?" Dean questioned.

"I love you." Dean winced.

"You shouldn't say that." He instructed.

"Why?"

"Because Dad doesn't like it." Sam tilted his head.

"So I'm not allowed to love my family?"

"No- of course you can," Dean insisted. "It's just.... You can't say 'I love you.' It never ends well, Sammy."

"Well...." Sam paused thinking. "What if I say 'I need you?'" Dean smiled.

"Sure thing. We'll say that instead." He ruffled his brother hair. "You're a smart kid, Sam."

"I know." Sam smiled. 

~~~~~

The words 'I need you' were rarely ever spoken between the Winchester boys, but that was only because they didn't have to tell each other.

Dean didn't have to say 'I love you' or 'I need you' to Sam because Sam, and pretty much the whole world, knew that Sam was the most important thing in Dean's life. There were times in their lives that Sam was literally the only thing that Dean loved.

Sam was a bit more willing to say 'I need you,' but not much. Although, there had been several instances where that was all he had needed to say.

~~~~

Sam was in sixth grade when he went to a Halloween party, and made a complete fool of himself, accidentally throwing up on a girl he liked. He had run into the woods and stayed there, crying in the dark. He sniffled, his tears subsiding as he picked up his phone and dialed a number.

"Sammy?" Dean's calm voice called out on the other side of the phone. Sam sniffled, ready to cry again.

"I need you." He said into the phone, not knowing what else to say.

"Don't move- I'll be right there." Dean offered, hanging up. So Sam stayed in the woods, clutching the phone, until Dean came crashing through the trees, sighing with relief as he spotted him.

"Come on," He instructed, helping Sam up and walking them out of the woods. "I got you. You okay?"

Sam shook his head, burrowing himself in Dean's side.

"It's okay, buddy." Dean assured him. "I need you too."

Sam thought it said a lot about his relationship with his brother that all he ever had to say was 'I need you,' and Dean would come running.

~~~~

I need you was their I love you, and it was years before either Winchester dared to utter the words to anyone else.

But then Castiel showed up, and Dean went a little nuts over the angel, completely smitten with him. And Cas, obviously, liked him back.

The relationship had a lot of rocky patches, but Dean and Cas always found a way through it.

And then, when Cas was under Naomi's mind control, Dean was content to let Cas beat him. Because Dean Winchester will never fight back against someone he cares about.

"We're family," he had cried out to Cas, begging with him to stop. He knew what he had to say- what he had to tell Cas- but the actual words had been wiped from his vocabulary for years. He couldn't remember them. They were meaningless now. "We need you." Dean's voice shook. "I need you." 

And Cas had stopped, recognizing what the words meant to the Winchesters.

~~~~

I need you was their I love you.

Sam had always had a complicated relationship with Gabriel. The angel had murdered his brother over a hundred times, so, that was bound to put a strain on any kind of romance.

But what Dean never knew about was all the times that Sam had snuck out to be with the archangel. He had never known about their secret rendezvous, and how hard Sam had falled for Gabriel.

But when he believed Gabriel to be dead, the Winchester had no choice but to try his best to move on.

But then, all of a sudden, Gabriel was back. He was broken, but he was alive, and that's all that mattered to Sam. He tried his best to help the archangel, but the Gabriel he knew was gone.

That didn't stop Sam from telling his angel what he should have said years ago.

"The world needs you," Sam said, tears starting to brew in his eyes. "We need you- Gabriel, I need you."

And Gabriel had snapped out of it. He had still left, but he knew now. He knew just how much Sam cared for him.

~~~~~

Winchesters don't say "I love you"

They say "I need you"

8x17, Dean tells Cas he needs him.

13x18, Sam tells Gabriel he needs him.

If that doesn't make them canon, what does?