Do you belive in forever? (Max Verstappen)

Chapter 73

Less than 24 hours had passed and yet it felt like years had passed. Funny how differently you could perceive time, how hours could become minutes and minutes into hours. However, time did not seem to pass. At least not for me.

"Hanna could you smile a little?" Sandy cautiously asked, "Maybe we'll just take a picture of your stomach and your hands on it." I definitely didn't feel like smiling, which she had probably noticed. I was really happy about that, because no one should see how I was really doing right now. Because I didn't want to be vulnerable.

Sandy diligently took pictures of me and Max, respectively of my stomach and his hands. You couldn't even see a curvature. It all seemed so stupid and unreal to me as I stood in front of Max and our hands were on my bare stomach.

"I think that's enough", that was the end of the ordeal for me. I just wanted to hide in bed and hope that everything was just a bad dream. That's not what my life should look like, even if I wanted children. At least now I wanted to live. But I was pregnant now and my children would not pay for my mistake.

Max still had his hands on my stomach: "All right with you? You look so tired. "In fact, I had slept very little as I couldn't find rest. But I didn't want to worry him, so I put on a smile and gave him a kiss. Otherwise, he had been satisfied with it, but this time he probably expected a correct answer.

"I slept little, nothing bad. It's all fine", actually nothing was good. My family had turned away and for many people I was a cheap whore who wanted to turn a child on him. But I didn't want to burden him with it before a race weekend, he should concentrate on his job and I should concentrate on my job.

But Max didn't think about giving up, which Sandy had probably also recognized and left us alone: "I'm your friend, you have to talk to me so I can help you. How can I protect you if you don't tell me anything? Please let me share in your suffering. And don't say you're fine. I'm not blind."

"What do you want to hear from me?! That it tears me apart inside, that my family doesn't want to know anything more about me?! Because yes it does, it hurts. It hurts when I am accused of wanting to attach a child to you. And yes, it hurts to be labeled a slut by people who don't even know me," I confessed. I couldn't hold back tears because the pregnancy made me very emotional.

"Yes," it came from Max, "because I want to know what's going on, how else am I supposed to help you. I can't dictate anything to your family, but I can put an end to the lies! But you have to talk to me for that, we're a team, aren't we?" I nodded slightly as I once again hid my head on my friend's chest. Right now, I just felt as weak as an injured deer and I didn't like it at all.

But deep down I knew that if I could have accepted everything, I wouldn't doubt myself. If I felt safe in pregnancy, the comments would have left me cold, but now they unsettled me. They even fed my doubts, but I couldn't talk to Max about that.

Reassuringly, Max stroked my head: "I won't let anyone hurt you, not even mentally. You need rest and not such a hustle and bustle. Maybe it would be better if you left out Canada." Immediately I snatched my grip from his grip, I would never put my job at risk. These children were already demanding too much from me, I didn't want to lose my job. In addition, I needed the distraction that my normal life in my profession offered me.

"So that even more attention is drawn to me? Certainly not!" Furious, I trudged to the door into the house. Max followed me and wanted to hold me, but I didn't allow it , because I wanted to be alone. Everything was just too much for me.

Without stopping I opened the front door and just ran off, Sandy had fortunately stopped my boyfriend, so that he no longer followed me. Even though I loved Max more than anything, I needed a moment to myself. I was not alone, because I still had two hearts in me.