Do you belive in forever? (Max Verstappen)

Chapter 21

I kept my eyes closed because I felt everything just hurt. The airbag had opened and not too softly. I heard the voices around me well, and I was able to give a quiet answer. My body wanted to rest and finally sleep, but I forced myself to stay awake. My fear of not waking up was too big.

I heard someone standing next to me at the door of the car: "Good evening, we're getting you out of the car now, okay? Are you in pain somewhere?" It was probably a paramedic, which makes me relieved. Even if they hadn't done something yet, ther was already a sense of safty that spread in me.

"My neck hurts and my hand hurts," the paramedic noted. Before they could lift me out, I was put on a neck brace so as not to make anything worse. Carefully they then lifted me out of my car onto a couch in pairs, even if they had done it very expertly, completely without pain the procedure did not work.

One paramedic quickly picked up my bag while I told the other what had happened. By the way, he had given me an infusion and made me ready for transport to the hospital. I couldn't really comprehend it all, it felt more like a bad dream. I didn't really know what was going on around us, including the police, who briefly inquired about my condition. Since they didn't know what it was like inside me, they just wanted to go to the hospital as quickly as possible. I didn't know what was going on with my car at the time.

The ride felt endless and the fatigue was unbearable, so I fell asleep on the couch. That prompted the paramedics to turn on the blue light and increase the speed. But I didn't get any of that. Peacefully I slept and hoped that when I woke up, everything was just a dream.

Unfortunately, however, my accident was a bitter reality, which was still there when I woke up again. But now I was lying in a hospital bed and staring at the ceiling. Gradually I realized that I really had an accident, and it wasn't a dream. It was more than just clear to me that I had to hand over my driving linces to the police for a few months and get a nice ticket. I would probably also need a new car, I didn't new it yet, but I could imagine that.

The door opened and a doctor came in: "Good evening you are awake again. My name is Dr. Hase, I am her treating doctor. Are you in pain somewhere or are they bad?" Since I really didn't feel anything at the moment, I denied but noticed that my right hand was involved, and I was still wearing a neck brace.

"You may have had some guardian angels with you, Mrs. Gasser. Her right hand and right rib side are bruised, and they also have slingshot trauma. For a head-on collision with a tree, they got away with it. However, we will keep them here to safely rule out further injuries. If they need something, just press the button behind them," I simply said. I just needed and wanted to rest. I didn't think about that tomorrow.

I couldn't fall asleep straight back in, so I looked left and right as much as I could, looking at my bag. Carefully I slipped a little to the right to this one and got my phone out. Luckily, this didn't get anything and still had enough battery. So, I told my parents that I was fine. My brother had kindly sent me a photo of my now scrapped car. I didn't want to know why he had that one, because I was a bit uncomfortable.

Even my boss seemed to know and wished me well. So, I decided to share a photo on Instagram to give everyone a all-clear massage. First, I took the photo of my car and then quickly took a selfie.

"I'm doing well so far; I was really lucky. Thank you to everyone who has already written to me, I am doing really well. I'm sure I'll be able to fly to Shanghai," I wrote underneath. It wasn't long since I got a comment from Lando.

Slightly shocked, the Briton had written: "What happened? OMG, a pity for the beautiful car." Knowing that I was doing so well, he was able to crack jokes. It did well to be honest, because I had at least something to laugh about. Because the costs that came to me were probably less funny. My disqualification from driving was also a problem, so I would probably have to take a hotel in Munich for the time and still think about my own apartment, but first I had to survive the night in the uncomfortable hospital bed.

"I must have fallen asleep for a second and crashed into the tree head-on," according to the doctors. I am also very sorry about the car; it still had many years to go. I'm even more sorry for my bank account and my driver's license, which I probably won't see for a few more months," I tried to take the whole thing with humor.

Gradually other drivers wrote to me and wished me well, Max was not among them. He had read my message about the treaty, but he hadn't written to me yet. Since it was already after midnight, I considered that he might already be asleep. But I didn't want to be intrusive and didn't write him any more message, but an apology was probably more than appropriate.

Since apart from me everyone was sleeping, I wanted to try again, but more than just nodding in a little bit, it didn't work. Nurses kept coming into the room and checking if everything was okay, and from time to time they changed the drip or asked me some questions about checking my memory. As long as that night, I had never had a night, eagerly waiting for the morning.

Before I saw the doctor, further tests and an MRI were done. Everything seemed a bit exaggerated to me, because I felt good with the painkillers. At least my neck was finally taken off, as I probably had no other head or neck injuries apart from the slingshot. My ribs and also my hand were freshly integrated, I just let everything go about me, because I wanted to be released from the hospital as soon as possible.

When it knocked on my room again, I had expected a doctor, but my mother was now in the doorway: "Are you abandoned by all the good spirits, tired of going three hours' drive. How many times have we told you that if you are too tired, you better take a hotel? You could have died, are you aware of that?" I deserved this reprimand, so I just let it speak. The fact that I got away with bruises and trauma was really lucky, because I could have ended up in a wheelchair very quickly.

'I'm sorry Mum, I didn't want to scare you. It never happens again, because I will look for an apartment near Munich," my mother immediately paused. Even if she would never admit it, they made those words more than just sad. Which mother also enjoyed the fact that her daughter wanted to move out and then left for three hours. But she knew as well as I did that this should have come sooner or later. 

In the long run, three hours of work was stressful, even if I didn't want to see it for a long time. I had to learn that it was okay to be alone. Even though I didn't like it, I always had to have other people around me, but I was probably too sociable. Apart from the meetings, I should also work at home in the home office, but I lack the contact with the other employees too much, so this was not an option for me at the moment.

My mother stood next to me and looked at me with surprise: "Are you sure you could work from home. A household does a lot of work, and you travel the world so often. Hanna you don't just go out as you like, that has to be well-thought-out. You're probably still in too much shock, maybe they should check your head again, not that they'd overlooked something.' Now I was a bit annoyed by my mother, because she couldn't understand that it was time to let go. Her little girl had grown up and was to find her own way through life. I hadn't just made that decision, she knew I wasn't doing anything ill-considered, so her accusations hit me a little.

"Mum my well and you know as well as I do that it's the right decision," I said. Just because I was looking for an apartment now, I wouldn't move out tomorrow. Eventually, something like this could drag on for months, so we still had enough time together. Until that was the time, my mother would probably have come to terms with it, but my father probably wouldn't like to see it even then.

Before my mother could say anything else, Dr. Hase came into the room: "Good morning Mrs. Gasser, also you good morning I take on the mother. Good news, there have been no complications or injuries, they are allowed home. But they should spare themselves a little more and stay behind. The bruises should be healed in two to four weeks, for a check-up they can go to the GP in two weeks. We give them painkillers and an ointment. For the neck we recommend warm patches and exercises so that the muscles relax."

"But next Tuesday I can fly again, can I? You know I'm a commentator, so I have to go to Shanghai," I was really afraid I wouldn't fly. But the doctor smiled at me nicely and immediately gave the OK. So, I was able to relax, while my mother wasn't so happy with it. She was always overcautious and would have been happy if I hadn't been able to go to China. But for me, it was very important that I got the OK. Otherwise, I could quickly forget my contract.

After a sister had come with the papers and the medications, I was taken from the drip and was allowed to put on the new clothes that my mother had brought.

Together with Mum, I left the hospital and went to her car, which was different from mine. Carefully I settled down in the passenger seat and just waited for her to get in and start the engine. After the short night I was looking forward to my bed, but only I would start doing my work from my laptop. Because my work, which I always did on Thursdays and Fridays, was important for the races. I wasn't just looking for information about track and past races. I also edited the available driver data with the new ones from the last race. With twenty riders, it was a lot of work, but it could be helpful to me during a race. In addition, I was able to go through the race of the weekend again and analyze it. This was not only important for the drivers, because it allowed me to better assess and compare the drivers and their style.

The ride over my mother had remained silent, and I had turned to my phone. Max still hadn't written me a message, but his sister had wished me a good recovery. Then we got into a conversation about the DMs, I had given her my mobile number, because DM was very tedious.

When I arrived at home, I was transported directly to my bed, where I made myself comfortable with a laptop. Shaking my head, Mum had only tried to take it away from me, but at almost 20 years old I was probably old enough to know for myself if I was able to work. In the end, she had just let me do it and had withdrawn from my room.

While I waited for my laptop to store the data, I looked at my phone. The Instagram icon immediately stabbed me in the eye, so I unlocked the display. My heart slipped into my pants when I saw that Max had written me a message.

"Congratulations and good improvement, maybe we see ourself in Shanghai, if you are allowed to come at all", my heart broke into a thousand pieces. The words sounded as cold as a winter's day in Siberian, everything pulled together in me. I wouldn't have thought it hurt so much, even though we had only met properly once. But I actually started crying because it felt like I had lost Max before I really had him.