Chapter 19 ♡

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Chapter 19

(Zayn's POV)

Three weeks. It's been three weeks since Kat and I have started dating.

Meaning, three weeks of sneaking around. Three weeks of not being allowed to tell anyone that we're still together. Three weeks of being careful about if we got caught. And three weeks of sneaking in through her room window.

I had to climb the tree behind her house to get up and reach the window of her room, just so I can see her. But it's okay, I don't mind.

Once, when I had snuck up to her room, I had a couple of scratches and bruises since I fell off the tree while I was coming up. She worriedly asked me, "what happened, are you alright?"

She ran to her drawer and pulled out a first aid kit and I smiled.

"I'm fine Kat," I said to her, "really."

"No," she grabbed my arm and pulled me down to sit next to her on the window seat, "now tell me what happened."

"I fell off the tree while I was climbing it," I said as she dabbed a bit of alcohol on a cotton ball and placed it gently on the cut of my arm.

"I'm sorry," she said as I hissed a bit at the burning sensation.

"Its okay, it's supposed to burn."

"No," she said, her eyes looking up to meet mine, "for everything that's been happening to you because of me."

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"This whole sneaking around stuff," she removed the cotton ball, "you don't deserve this."

I chuckled, "Kat, you're worth all of this. It's really no big deal, because look where I am now."

She smiled up at me, blushing only a bit before quickly pressing a kiss to my lips. I loved her kisses, it was like when she kissed me, nothing else mattered.

Now, I peeked through her window and saw her back towards me while she lay on the bed, scrolling through something on her laptop while earplugs were stuck in her ear.

I slowly and quietly snuck inside, hoping she wouldn't hear me, then walked over to her bed and layed on it, wrapping my arm around her waist and kissing her cheek slightly.

She jumped at first at my touch, probably unsure of who it was, then relaxed after she turned and realized it was me.

"Oh, it's only you," she breathed while facing me and taking out her headphones, "how are you Zayn?"

She cuddled into me as I lifted the blankets on top of us, "perfect." I replied.

And it was, literally perfect. All we did was lay there in the silence. I took in the scent of her familiar perfume, roses with a hint of peppermint. I felt the sky darken behind us as her head rested on my chest.

We stayed like that for a while before I asked, "why doesn't your dad like me, Kat?"

I couldn't keep my mouth shut, could I? It was just a question that was nagging at me ever since that night. And I never had the courage to ask her; until that perfect moment of that perfect night.

How stupid was I?

She sighed, "he's really protective when I date guys, especially because I'm his only daughter." She took my hand into hers, a touch that was quite familiar to me now, and brought it up to her lips, kissing it lightly as if she was trying to avoid going into detail about the topic.

I could tell, so I said, "you know, if there's something that you don't want to tell me, you don't have to. Okay babe?"

"No," she whispered, "it's nothing like that. I just," she took a deep breath, "okay. So I used to date this guy, Eli, and we dated for about 2 months before he started asking about sex. So I told him no, because it was too early, and I just didn't feel that way about him. We went on with our relationship for about a month and a half more, and he kept asking me, and I kept saying no, and he grew impatient." I wrapped my arms around her tighter after she dug her head into my chest. "Then, one day, we were both alone at my house, and he asked me again, this time more forcefully, and I again refused. So he fought with me verbally at first, then he hit me."

I felt her get uncomfortable so I said, "Kat, you don't have to keep going if you-"

"He kept hitting me," her voice started to shake, "and I couldn't do anything because he was stronger than me, and nobody was there to help me. He hit me with things he found around the house until I started to bleed and bruise. After he cooled down, you know, once he realized he could get in trouble for what he did, he told me that he was sorry, and I should stop crying, and then he said that he loved me. And that was the first time that he told me that, thinking it would change my mind."

I hugged her tight, reassuring her that I was there. She began to cry, "I didn't know what to feel. If I forgave him, he would kiss me then, but hit me later. And if I didn't accept his apology right there, he would hit me then. So I stayed silent, feeling sick, but then dad walked in casually. And once he saw us, it took him a minute to realize what was going on, but when I looked up at him, it was like he knew everything. Instead of saying anything, he picked up his phone and dialed the cops. Eli begged him to stop, infact he started to cry himself."

She took in a sharp breath, "so dad grabbed him and didn't do anything but say, 'it's too late, Eli.' And before I knew it, our house was surrounded by cops and ambulances. I was taken away to the hospital and my dad decided to put me in a rehabilitation center because I was too scared to talk to anyone. I stayed there for about three months until I got better. And here I am now," she breathed, "acting as if nothing ever happened."

"I'm sorry," I replied almost immediately. I meant for it to be sincere, but it was such an automatic response that it probably meant nothing to her, or to anyone. Saying I'm sorry doesn't make anything better, it was such a phrase that it is so familiar that it's used only as a space filler. But I didn't want her to think that, because I was really truly sorry. Sorry that I ever asked her a question that brought painful memories back to her, sorry that she had to ever go through all that, sorry that I wasn't there to help her.

She didn't say anything, and I should've said something. But nothing came to mind that would make her feel as if I actually cared, even though I really did, more than I could ever explain.

So I did the only thing that I could, and kissed her. I kissed her hard, making sure that she knew how sorry I was, and that I needed her. She kissed me back, not even startled, but as if she was waiting for that. I grabbed her waist lightly, holding her as if she was the most fragile thing in the world, and if I held her tighter, she would've broke.

Her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me in close. I didn't think of anything else at that moment instead of the fact that she was everything I had ever wanted.

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