Chapter 36 ♡

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Chapter 36

(Kat's POV)

I had been watching television for five hours straight. Even though I tried paying attention to the shows that I was watching, my mind couldn't be then apart from the thought of Zayn.

I kept thinking back to a couple of hours ago when he had called me vulnerable on the sidewalk. I knew that he hadn't meant it the way that I assumed, but the thought of Zayn using me was stuck on my mind.

No, he wouldn't do that, he loves me. Yeah, he loves me.

Just as I thought this, I heard a knock on the door. I got up quite eagerly, knowing already who it might be, but soon stopped myself, realizing that I was mad at him.

I walked slowly to the door, placing my hand on the handle. "Who is it?" I asked, even though I knew who it was.

"Uh, it's me," a voice which I knew all too well spoke, "I mean, it's Zayn."

I opened the door, just slightly, "do you need something?"

"You forgot some things at my place," he held out a bag to me and I took it.

"Thanks," I spoke, then shut the door, still trying to remain angry.

I opened the bag to find the wedding photos, my dress, and my phone inside. I set it down on a nearby table and began to walk back to my couch when there was another knock on the door.

"You forgot something else," Zayn said as I opened up the door.

He was holding out a bouquet of flowers towards me, smiling apologetically. I took them from his hand, trying not to look like I forgave him. Looking down at them, I saw a tiny note attached. When I opened it, it read, "I'm very sorry, beautiful. You know how mean I get when I'm angry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Please forgive me? I love you."

I looked up at him to see him staring right at me. I set the flowers to the side and pulled him inside.

"You do get mean when you're angry," I commented which made him laugh.

"I know right, even I don't want to be around myself when I'm mad," he smiled.

I walked to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He slid his arms around my waist and breathed in my scent. He nuzzled his face into my neck and took a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry baby," he whispered.

"It's okay."

"I just don't want you to get hurt," he spoke, "that's all."

"I know."

"I've been noticing the decrease in your weight and it hurts me seeing you like this. You're on my mind all the time babe, and I always think I'm doing something wrong."

I hugged him tighter, "what do you mean?"

"I feel like I don't make you feel beautiful enough. I love you so much, it's one of my priorities to make sure you feel confident about yourself. Make sure that you know how beautiful you really are."

"Zayn," I whispered, "you already make me feel beautiful. It's just that sometimes I don't believe it."

He nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck, his arms gripping me tighter. "Why not?"

"Because it's hard Zayn. I may seem pretty to you, but to other people, I'm nothing but the same."

"You aren't the same Kat. You are so different from anyone I've ever met." He gently traced circles on my back.

"That's the problem. You can't be the same because then you're worthless, and you can't be different because then you're strange. So what can you be?"

"Listen to me sweetheart," Zayn pulled apart from me and took my hand. We walked towards the couch and sat down beside each other. His eyes looked deep into mine, "the key to happiness is not giving a damn about anyone or anything. It's not worth it."

"So what? You just run from everyone?" I questioned.

"No, you face them. But you don't let them affect you." He said, and suddenly it all made sense.

Who cares about everyone else. They're all going to leave me anyways. Zayn was right, I won't give a damn. But it was easier said than done.

"So are you going to quit babe?" Zayn asked, looking deep into my eyes.

I gulped. There was a lot on the line if I said yes. Gusto had a lot of jobs riding on my back. Cora's name would be in disgrace. Carlee would also lose her job as being my assistant. And I would also lose a well paying job that is giving me the money for my own place.

On the other hand, Zayn would be upset. And if you think about it, I wouldn't have joined this modeling thing if it wasn't for Zayn in the first place.

So it was clear to me what the right choice was.

Zayn hadn't moved his gaze from mine, waiting for my answer. So I finally spoke, "I'm going to quit."

His eyes beamed with happiness, a grin forming upon his lips. He leaned in and kissed me eagerly, saying, "I'm so happy."

Those were the words I ruined everything to hear. And they've never sounded better.

"You know what babe?" Zayn said, "let's go out to eat something. You must be starving."

I smiled, "okay."

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