In Another Life

36 (Colby's POV)

I almost offered to pay her to keep quiet, but I snapped my mouth shut before that came out. Even I knew that was a bad idea. She was too head strong, even though she was shy. That wouldn't go over well. All I could do was trust her...but that never worked out well for me. I had learned the hard way that you could only trust a few close people. If anything happened, if it got out that I had kissed a fan...well, I don't know what I would do. Hopefully, I wouldn't have to find out. So far, she hadn't tried to video us at all, or even take pics besides the meet and greet that she paid for. Her friends either. It was weird. She narrowed her eyes at me after I begged her not to tell anyone but I saw a sadness grow there. "I wouldn't say anything. I know how hard that situation is for you." She looked away for a second, and placed her fingers on her still swollen lips, before looking at me and removing her hand. "But why did you do it? Why did you-" She looked up and down the hallway, to make sure that there wasn't anyone around. Well damn. That was sweet. I probably should've done that before I kissed her but I wasn't thinking straight. Barely was now, my eyes darting between her own and her lips. "Why did you kiss me?" she whispered, not meeting my gaze. "Um..." I didn't really know how to reply to that. I brought my hand up to rub the back of my head while I thought it out. I didn't want to give her false hope. I know how it is to have a crush or whatever, to day dream about being with that person. Even though I was drawn to her, we both knew it would never work. This was...an accident. "I think I've had a little too much to drink or something. I'm sorry again. I acted before I thought."I felt horrible when I saw the disappointment in her eyes. I wasn't drunk. I had barely drank anything tonight. Didn't really wanna meet the fans smelling like straight alcohol. Been there, done that, and had lots of complaints about it. "Oh," she replied quietly. "Okay, well I'm going to bed. Maybe we'll see you again before you leave. Goodbye Colby." She turned and walked the couple of steps to her door, and pushed it open. She walked inside and shut the door without turning around once. That hurt. I wasn't sure why, but it did. I actually really liked her, even though I barely knew her. This was gonna be a long week. We were staying an extra few days just to enjoy ourselves. Just Sam and I, plus Kat was supposed to be flying out tomorrow. The rest would leave when PlayList was over. "Fuuuuckkk," I groaned out quietly, staring at her closed door. "You okay brother," Sam asked, poking his head out of our room door. I turned to look at him, knowing that my face showed how confused I was. I shook my head. "I don't know man. But I will be." He stepped back for me to come inside, and closed and locked the door behind me. I didn't say anything, just rummaged through the few sleeping clothes that I still had in my suitcase. I had hung everything else up so that it wouldn't wrinkle worse. I found my favorite pair of grey sweatpants, and my black MCR (My Chemical Romance) cutoff. I changed clothes and threw the covers back on my bed, settling into it with my phone. "Colby, what happened out there? You were there for a while," Sam asked, already lying in his bed on his phone. I glanced over to him and sighed. "I fucked up Sam." He raised his eyebrows at me. "What happened?" he asked again. "I kissed her, man," I replied. "Colby! You know you shouldn't-" "Sam, I know! Don't you think I know? This could get very messy, very quickly. But they haven't tried to do anything yet, and we've had them in our hotel room, got into a fight, and danced with them. Still nothing. Not even one of them trying to video it or even just get regular pics. It's weird. I think I can trust her not to say anything, but at the same time, I know it's not a good idea. Someone will get hurt. We're only here for a few days..." I let my voice trail off, catching Sam's gaze again, hoping he could tell me what to do. I wanted to get to know her more. I really did. But I knew it wasn't a good idea, simply because we would be leaving soon and I didn't even know where she lived. He sighed heavily, and placed his phone down on his chest. ."Brother, I can't tell you what to do. If you think it could go somewhere, then sure, talk to her, spend time with her, but keep it as quiet as possible. You don't want her getting unnecessary hate. You also shouldn't start anything with her, without letting her know upfront what your intentions actually are. Are you trying to start a relationship with her, or are you just messing around while we're here? I don't like it though. One or both of you are going to get hurt. You know how fast you fall, and since she's a fan, I'm sure she's already convinced that she's in love with you. You shouldn't rush this." I closed my eyes against his words, but I knew he was right. I also knew even if I did talk to her about just wanting to hang out and see what happens while we're here, she would say yes. Even if that meant she could get her heart broken. Was I willing to do that? I pretty much already knew that it wasn't going to work out, nothing ever did, for more than a fling. They always ended up wanting something else from me, or being liars. Still though...I hadn't really tried to date a fan...my life was just too crazy for that. Jesus Christ, my head was starting to hurt from all the overthinking and I still didn't know what to do.