In Another Life

144 Colby's POV

"You'll always be my girl Terra." Those words replayed themselves over and over again, inside my head. I gripped the steering wheel tightly, thinking of those beautiful blue green  m aqua eyes, and how sad they had been. The anguish in them, and having to walk away from her almost took my out. I wasn't lying though. She would always be my girl. I would always think of her as mine. My friend, my lover, my confidant. Even if I never saw her again, that's who she was to me. It was going to be so hard to resist calling her...but I had to do it, to stay true to her and myself. This, whatever this was, wasn't healthy for either of us. I wanted to her to live her life and stop waiting on me. I thought maybe it wouldn't be so difficult for her, since she had her friends..and she had Justin. I had forgotten about preppy boy Justin. I inwardly groaned as the way he looked at her flashed in my mind. I hated him for that look. It was the same way that I looked at her. The longing, the want, the need, the...well, he really cared for her. "You okay?" Sam asked, watching with his brow creased. I glanced at him then back to the road, before nodding. "Yeah. I'm good. Just thinking." "You know this is gonna take time. Nobody expects you to be okay right off the bat. This is going to take time. Just don't spiral out of control again okay?" I nodded, biting my lip hard to distract myself. I had taken to drinking and doing drugs last time I had gotten my heart broken. Mostly drinking but if there were drugs around me at a party or something then I would do them socially. Nothing too hard, mainly just weed and coke. Okay, I know that it's bad, but like...it was there and it helped me forget about the pain for a little while. The rest of the ride home was mostly the guys singing along or trying new dancing songs. Guess they were getting ready to post on SnapChat again. I really wasn't in the mood, so when Jake shook my arm and aimed his phone at me, I just turned my head and pushed his phone away. "Damn brother, it's that bad, huh?" He replied. I didn't answer and just kept my gaze on the road. We finally made it to the airport, and boarded our plane after a short wait. I took out my earbuds and put them in the avoid any conversation that the guys might try to put me through. My playlist started up as I lay my head back against the seat and closed my eyes. Fuck, why did I have to listen to such sad ass music sometimes. This was cutting me all the way down to my soul. The Ivy's "Have you ever been in Love" started playing, so I jerked my headphones out of the phone and just lay there listening to the multiple conversations around me, still muffled by the earbuds. I eventually fell asleep and had Sam shaking me awake when we finally landed in LA. "Colby, we're home brother. Wake up," I heard him say. I opened my eyes and took our my earbuds, stuffing them in my pocket. I didn't feel like I was home. Home felt like it was back in Georgia with Terra. We gathered our carry-ons and left the plane. Sam called for an Uber to come pick us up and take us to our place. We had recently moved back in together in a house that Sam and I had bought. Things were working out pretty well for us...most things anyway. I couldn't get out of my head, get my thoughts away from Terra, as hard as I tried. When we made it to the house, I went in, bypassing everyone else, and went straight to my room. I dropped my bags onto the floor, not caring where they landed, and fell onto my bed face first. I could sleep but I wasn't sleepy after that nap on the plane. The guys  were  already  acting up downstairs, yelling and messing around. I pulled out my phone and just scrolled through my contacts. Who could help me get my mind off of things? Terra's name caught my eye and I tapped it. I stared at the contact information, with the picture of her smiling staring back at me. I wanted to text her, to call her, to tell her that I was wrong, that we could make it work...but I couldn't. Because we couldn't. There was just no way I could limit her life like that. I rubbed my hand over my chest where that familiar ache was starting to get stronger. I vaguely wondered when it would go away. After looking through my contacts, I decided there wasn't anyone that I wanted to hang out with tonight. I wasn't going to be good company anyway. So I stood and went to my closet to dig around for a bottle of jack that I had in there. It didn't take me too long to find. I grabbed it, and headed out to the roof. The sun was setting, leaving the world in a blue, pink, and purple haze, the clouds spinning through the colors like yarn. It was beautiful. Only I couldn't think of anything except how much I wanted to share this moment with Terra. I opened the Jack, and took a huge swallow, letting the liquid burn down my throat, my chest, and into my stomach. This would help me forget. As much as I knew that I shouldn't, I opened Instagram and went to Terra's personal page. She had a new story. I hesitated, my thumb hovering over the little icon. Did I want to see it? Would it make things worse on myself? Probably, but I pressed it anyway. Her face came into view, her eyes downcast, her cheeks still having the remnants of tears, but she smiled at the camera. Then she turned it to rear camera view and I saw that asshole Justin. Trying to surf down a damn slide. Stupid asshold. She laughed when he tipped over at the end and almost ate dirt.