In Another Life

141

"I guess I'll see you in the car then. I have to make sure that all of my stuff is together," I said, twisting my earring. His eyes followed my hand and he grinned sadly again. "Yeah, me too. See you soon," he replied. It felt awkward now. He had seen me naked, and done really...well, anyway there was no reason why this should be awkward. He knew me VERY well. I hated that it felt this way. Like we were both already pulling away, trying to shield ourselves from the pain that was to come. Or at least, that's what I was doing. I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle it all at once, definitely not in front of him. He went to his and Sam's room, while I made my way to mine and Denise's room. I didn't even have to open the door, because Denise threw it open as soon as I got near it. She grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. "What's wrong? What happened? Do I need to go kick his ass? Cuz I will." She bombarded me with questions so fast, I couldn't even reply. I just stood there, my mouth hanging open slightly. "I'm gonna kick his ass," she replied, after looking at me for one second. She headed to the door, and already had it open with one foot out before I came to my senses. "Necee, NO!" I yelled, running over to her, grabbing her arm, and pulling her back inside. I slammed the door once I had her out of the way. "Then tell me what happened and why you've been crying right now!" She exclaimed, letting her weight fall onto one foot, while she stood there with her arms crossed. A look of extreme annoyance, and anger came over her face. Ah, I loved her for being so protective and caring of me, but I didn't need her for this. "Colby and I talked things over and we decided that this was it," I said, trying to keep my voice even, but couldn't stop the crack that happened at the end. "What? Why?" she asked. I shrugged. "Because it just can't work. He's gonna be in LA, while I'm going to be at home, and we just don't work. We're too different. If we sit around doing nothing, not enjoying life, waiting on each other, then we may end up resenting one another. I couldn't handle that, if he.." I choked up, thinking about what it would feel to have Colby resent or hate me. That was something that I just couldn't deal with at all. I could see his side of things a little better now. I never wanted that to happen. She pulled me too her, hugging me, as she rubbed my back. "I'm sorry T. I know how strongly you feel for him. It's going to be okay though. You've been through this before, and I'll always be here for you." I clenched my eyes shut, trying to stop the tears. I'd had enough of the crying to last me a lifetime. I pulled back from her and shook  my head. "I haven't been through this before. This is different. This time, we won't exist to each other besides some fond memories," I replied quietly. She let out a low breath. "Really? So no being friends or anything?" I shook my head, looking up to meet her gaze. "Nope. Nothing. It'll be too hard. I can't watch him be with someone else. He says he can't watch me too. I don't know though. I think that he doesn't realize how much I care about him. I get that I don't mean the same to him. We haven't spent that much time together, and I know he guards his heart. Plus, he still has all of those model type LA girls that he's such good friends with to keep him company. I'm sure he'll be fine." I turned away from her and went to finish packing my things. We didn't speak for a moment, both of us storing last minute things into our bags. "That's not true Terra. He cares for you. I think he might even love you. I've seen the look in his eyes, when he sees you. He watches you when you're not looking," Denise whispered, glancing over to me. That did it. The tears started again. I held my hand up to stop her. "Please don't," I groaned out. "I can't." She nodded. I went to the bathroom with my makeup bag to try and cover the redness and puffy eyes. Soon it was time to go so we walked out, and went downstairs to where the car was parked. So far, we were the only ones there. "Well, are they coming?" I asked, holding my hand up over my forehead to block the sun as I glanced up to the second story of the old building. All four guys came out of Jake and Corey's room. Corey was making a goofy face, and the other guys were laughing. Carefree was the expression that I would use. Even Colby. It was still nice to see that smile on his face. As soon as he looked at me, his smile faltered. he caught himself and smiled again, before lifting his hand in a half wave. I waved back and turned away, looking at Denise. "You okay?" she asked. I nodded, then walked around to the trunk area with my bag. It popped open and I looked over to the foot of the stairs to see Colby holding his keys towards us. He had popped the trunk. I threw my bag in, then let Denise do the same. We left it up for the guys, then crawled into the car. I didn't know how we were going to sit on the drive home. This was going to be complicated. I didn't look around as I heard the guys talking and laughing, while they threw their own things into the trunk. I jumped slightly when Corey opened the backdoor that I was leaned up against. He gave me a soft smile. "Hey I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." I smiled back and scooted over. "Do you know how we're sitting?" I asked. He shook his head.