In Another Life

145 Colby's POV

Her laugh didn't sound right, not fully there, but she was still laughing. I should be happy, but I was anything but that. I should be the one making her laugh. Her real laugh, starting with that light tinkling sound until she really got into it and ended up snorting. I continued watching her story because yay, there was a second part to it. Justin laughed with her and walked over to her. She turned the camera back to her, and held up a bottle of vodka to the screen. "Bottoms up," she said sadly, before smiling and turning the bottle up. Justin took it from her. "My turn beautiful," he said grinning, before placing his lips where hers had been. A rage that I didn't know I had in me blew up. "Aaaggghhhh" I yelled, before tossing my phone down on the table next to me. I wanted to kick something, to punch something...or someone. Only they were thousands of miles away from me, drinking with MY GIRL. Only she wasn't my girl. I wasn't sure if she ever truly had been. We had never discussed anything like that. I kicked the flower pot that was next to my foot, sending it flying across the balcony before sliding into the wall and busting open. Potting soil spilled out everywhere. "Damn it," I muttered, falling into the chair behind me. Now my foot hurt as well as my heart. I covered my face with my hands and rested my elbows on my knees. "Fuck this," I said, leaning back and grabbing the bottle of Jack. If she could forget about me that quick, then I could do the same. I turned the bottle up, downing as much as I could before the burn and the need to breathe overtook me. My head already felt the effects of the alcohol, making the world a little wobbly and the lights a little brighter. If I could I would have asked Terra to be my photographer, to move here with me...but I couldn't do that. We hadn't really known each other long enough to just base our lives off of each other. She wouldn't accept anyway. If I knew one thing about her, it was that she wanted to make her own way, make her mark on the world without help. I respected that, but it made it super hard not to just kidnap her and bring her here with me. The logical part of my brain started talking then. What if I did bring her here, and things didn't work out? What would I do? Just ship her back to Georgia? Help her get her own place and then be done? I had no idea. As much as I hated to think about the possibility that we might not work out in the end, it was true. We didn't know enough about one another, and even if we did, relationships were never a guarantee. That was just facts. It was also fact that as soon as I left, she ran to Justin. Fine. Whatever. I didn't need her anyway. I had plenty of girls that would kill to be with me. I took another drink, and shook my head. I felt like a douche just thinking that. To be honest, most of those girls were fans. The girls that were actually around me were just too fake. The ones that I had felt like I liked, or wanted to get to know better...well, I got too nervous. The world may see me as this confident guy that had a millions girls and a few guys swooning at his feet. In reality, I was still that unsure, goofy band kid that clammed up and stammered when I got around someone that I liked. It had been easy with Terra. Since she was a fan, I already knew that she liked me. Or at least, who she thought I was. Then when I opened up to her, and let her see the real me, she acted like she already knew. That she had gotten to know me through her television screen somehow. "Colby?" I heard Sam calling my name. "Up here Sam," I yelled back, hiding the bottle of Jack behind my legs, hoping that he couldn't see it. I didn't feel like him giving me shit for it. I wasn't going back to the way I was before. I just needed a fucking drink tonight. "Hey...how are you doing?" He asked hesitantly, as he walked closer to me. I shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm fine. It wasn't like I was in love or anything. Just another girl, right?" That hurt my chest, making it hard to breathe for a second. T was anything but just another girl. As much as I tried to deny the fact that I loved her...I did. I had fallen for her, and hard. That's why I had to let her go. I couldn't do that to her. Not when I cared so much for her. "Why are you lying to me? Maybe the others, but not to me brother. Don't do that," he replied, looking at me sternly. I looked away and out towards the now darkened sky. "Yeah, I know Sam," I answered, keeping my gaze averted. I couldn't stand to see the pity or sympathy in his blue eyes right now. I just couldn't. "Are you drinking?" he asked. I looked over to him and saw him looking down by my feet. Guess I forgot to keep the bottle covered. "So what if I am Sam? I know what I'm doing, and I know how to handle it," I replied shortly, already annoyed with him being here. Can't they just leave me alone and give me some time alone? He held up both hands in surrender. "I'm not judging Colby. Just worried about you. You know I'm here if you need me. I always will be." I nodded, and looked away again, feeling my chest tighten, and my eyes sting. I did not cry, and I would be damned if I was going to start now. "yeah, thanks," was all I said. I leaned down and picked the bottle up, then turned it up, taking a huge swallow. Sam surprised me by holding out his hand. I passed him the bottle and watched as he turned it up too. He grimaced then handed it back. "Want a drinking buddy?" he asked. I shrugged again, but took another shot of Jack, before passing it back to him.