In Another Life

190

I finished up the rest of my day at my office in a haze. I couldn't stop thinking about that damn slice of cheesecake. I was actually losing my mind. A slice of cheesecake shouldn't make me go crazy. 'It's not the cheesecake stupid' my subconscious butted in. 'It's the fact that he remembered the seemingly insignificant details of the day you met each other.' "Shut up," I murmured, packing up my things when I realized it was after 5 and my first day at work was over. I had went through my assignments and scheduled a few shoots for tomorrow so that should be fun. Right now, I couldn't wait to get home and tell Colby...Justin, I meant Justin, how my day had went. I was kind of hurt that he hadn't texted or called me all day, but maybe he had just been busy. I noticed his car parked next to the curb as I got out of my Uber, so I knew that he was home. I felt nervous for some reason. We had never gone this long without talking in some form, or with being mad at each other. Our fights had always been settled soon after they started, only lasting a couple of hours at the most. I didn't know how to react to this new territory that we had reached. Just as I reached the door, an image of Colby popped into my mind. I sighed and leaned against the door, holding the image for just a moment. Him and that damn cheesecake. I smiled to myself, somehow feeling better than I did a couple of minutes ago. I put my key in the door and turned the handle, pushing it open to find Justin sitting on the couch. He looked up when I walked in, and stood to meet me. I hugged him back when his arms came around me, but it still felt weird for some reason. There was still something between us, holding us back from one another. He pulled back and looked down at me with his soft green eyes. "T, I'm so sorry. For everything. I was mad that you had left to meet...him, and didn't tell me. I just get so jealous where he's concerned because I know how much you loved him. I sometimes think that I can't compare to that. I just-" He broke off and ran his hand through his hair. My eyes caught the glint from the ring that he had started wearing on his pointer finger this past year. I had picked it out. Looking at it now, I realized how similar it was to Colby's Cartier ring. Damn it. "You can't compare to him," I blurted out my thoughts before my mouth could stop me. His eyes widened as he just looked at me in surprise. "I mean, you're not him. You're not Colby, and the way I love you is different from the way that I love you." He smiled, and nodded his head but not in a good way. He seemed pissed and hurt by what I had said. "What I mean is-" I started, trying to fix things. He had apologized and I did love him. I didn't think that I could make it without him. "The way you love him? THE WAY YOU LOVE HIM? Here I was thinking that you didn't love him anymore and that I was overreacting but you just confirmed my innermost fears, didn't you Terra?" I was confused now. "Wait, what?" I asked, stepping back from him. I didn't fear Justin in any way, but he was angry and I had never seen him this angry before. "You said the way you love him is different from the way you love me. LOVE Terra, NOT LOVED." I rolled my eyes. He was exaggerating over a slip of the tongue. My subconscious started running her mouth again, saying that maybe that slip of the tongue was right, but I shut her up quick. "That's not what I meant Justin. Christ, stop being so extra. What I meant was that those were or are, whatever two different kinds of love. I still have love for Colby but as nothing but a friend. I love you as my partner. Stop being dramatic," I replied. I was over this. I had made a mistake, yes, but he was going overboard. He didn't even KNOW about the kiss. Geez, I would hate to see how he would react to that. He sat down on the couch and scrubbed his face with his hands. "I don't know what to do here T. I can't think straight. I just love you so fucking much. I don't want to lose you. I feel like I'm losing you, and it's because of HIM." He spit out the last word like it left a disgusting taste in his mouth. I sat down next to him. "You're not losing me J. I'm right here. I love you," I replied, softly, putting my hand on his face and turning it towards me. I pressed my lips against his softly, then lay my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry that I made you doubt us. It won't happen again," I replied. There was a pit in my stomach saying those words because I wasn't sure that I believed them myself. We were quiet for a moment, when Justin took out his phone. "What are you doing?" I asked, turning my head to the phone in his hands. "Let's go pick up some food. I don't think either of us feels like cooking." "Oh yes please," I laughed out, standing and picking up my things that I had set on the coffee table. "I'm going to take these to my room and take a shower really quick." He nodded but was already on the phone with wherever he was ordering food from. We could have easily gotten PostMates but it would be nice to go on a drive with each other. I sped through my shower and threw on some comfortable clothes, just a black t-shirt, and a pair of exercise shorts, then went back to the living room to find Justin. "You ready?" he asked. "The food should be about ready." I nodded, grabbed my snapback from the rack hanging on the wall, then followed him out the door. He unlocked his car and we both got in.