In Another Life

151

WARNING!!!! INTENSE DRUG USE AND NOT JUST WEED. IF IT BOTHERS YOU OR TRIGGERS YOU, THEN DON'T READ IT. PSA: I DO NOT PROMOTE DRUG USE. I HAVE SEEN FIRST HAND WHAT IT CAN DO. THAT WILL BE PRESENT IN THIS STORY TOO. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED AGAIN, FOR THE FINAL TIME. SO DON'T COME AT ME, OKAY? OKAY. ENJOY AND LOVE YOU ALWAYS

I finally caught my breath, and noticed the hazy feeling that had come over me. "Yeah, I haven't smoked in a while. Haven't needed too," I answered, feeling a little more fond towards the people around me. There were times when these people were the only ones that I could count on to be there for me. I found my seat next to JJ and Amber followed me and sat in the chair next to the couch. After she hit the joint again, she passed it to JJ. "We really need to roll a blunt. There's too many people and it's burning out too fast," Amber complained, watching JJ hand me the joint again. "When did y'all start smoking joints again?" I asked, speaking while holding the smoke in my lungs so that my voice sounded strained. I blew the smoke out, and coughed a few times, but it was getting easier, the feeling familiar now. "I thought it was strictly blunts," I finished. Amber laughed. "It use to be but then sometimes it was JJ and I, or just a couple of people, so we started with joints again. No sense in wasting the weed, ya know?" I nodded, and watched Levi inhale the smoke deeply. "So what are you really doing here Little T?" JJ asked, watching me. I squirmed a little under his scrutiny. "I told you. Just wanted to see what you guys have been up too. You crossed my mind is all," I replied, sitting back on the couch and closing my eyes. This was helping. My body felt all floaty and my mind was concentrating more on the goofy feeling that I was getting instead of being miserable without...him. As soon as he crossed my mind again, I sat up straight. I grabbed my drink off of the old coffee table and chugged it. "Damn girl, slow down. I don't think that's why you're here. I think you came here to forget something...or someone," JJ replied. He always was pretty accurate on telling how someone felt. I brought my empty cup down and sighed. "I guess so. I need to forget. I knew that I would be able to do that here, but I also really just wanted to see that you guys were okay," I replied heavily. He nodded, while Amber smirked at him. It was hard to believe that I use to hang out with her every day. I guess the drugs made me like her more than I actually did. "Wanna tell us what you're trying to forget?" Levi asked, passing the almost gone joint to David. I shook my head. "Not really. That defeats the purpose of forgetting," I replied, getting up to get another drink. "I'll get it for you," Levi responded, before I could take a step. He got up and grabbed my cup, heading to the kitchen. "Seriously T, tell us. It might help you to talk about it," JJ said, putting his arm around my shoulders as I sat back down. I leaned forwards and scrubbed my face with both hands. Damn, I was high. I hadn't smoked in so long, this little bit was really affecting me. "Okay, just a guy. I really liked him, maybe even loved him. But he lives really far away and there's no way that we could make it work, so he ended it. That's it. I just want to feel good again, and forget him, even if for just a little while," I responded, leaning back into JJ's side. He had always been like a big brother to me, and the familiar feelings were coming back. Almost as if I had never stopped hanging out with them. "It's hurts too bad to think about him," I said, my voice cracking a little, as an image of Colby smiling at me popped into my mind. "Well, I've got just the thing to help you forget," JJ replied, moving his arm and sitting up. He pulled a little baggie from his pocket, then dumped it contents onto the flat square mirror that was sitting on the coffee table. "David, wanna let me borrow a card from you? My wallet is in my room." David nodded, pulled out his own wallet, then handed JJ a credit card or something. I eyed the white powder that he started moving around with the card, forming straight lines of it on top of the mirror. "What do ya say Little T? Up for it?" Amber replied condescendingly, as she smirked at me. I glanced from her, back to the mirror. Was I really wanting to do this tonight? I wasn't sure. I had that old familiar urge eating at me, but then I thought about how Denise and my other friends would feel. Justin. Even Colby. They would all be disappointed in me. I shook my head, then looked up as Levi brought me my drink back. "No, I don't think so. Not this time. I'll just drink my way into oblivion," I replied, grinning a little, before I took a few gulps from the drink. I didn't know what it was. He had made something fruity but strong. Definitely grenadine in it. "This is good," I said looking at him in surprise. He shrugged. "I bartend now. I've learned a few things." I nodded. "It's really good," I said, unable to think of my advanced vocabulary words that I had in my brain. They just didn't seem important right now. These people didn't care. I took another large gulp, then set the cup on the table. watched JJ take a small cut straw and hand it to Amber. She held it to her nose, as she leaned over the little mirror and one of the straight white lines disappeared. She pinched her nose as she leaned back up, her eyes wide and slightly watering. "Whoo," she yelled out. "That's some good shit!" JJ laughed and took the straw from her. "Only the best babe. I don't play with my product." He leaned over and did the same as her, before holding the straw out to me. "You sure you don't want any?" he asked. "Fuck it," I replied, my resolve dissolving. I took the straw in my hand. This was it. This would help me really forget.