In Another Life

94 Colby's POV

It had only been a week, but this long distance thing was already starting to stress me out. "So what are you doing today?" Terra asked me, popping a fry in her mouth. Damn it, how did she look so sexy, just eating a fry?! I sat back on my couch and ran my hand through my hair. "Not much today actually. Might go out hang out with Brennen later. I don't know. Sam has Kat, Jake, Tara, Griffin, and Xeph coming over place later. He invited me but I don't really want to intrude on a couples thing...so I'll either spend a quiet night in my room, or go hang out with Brennen." I shrugged, and folded my lips together. I'd much rather be spending time with her, we both knew that wasn't going to happen any time soon. The fact that she was looking as hot as she did, sitting next to guys that were probably flirting with her, or acting out to get her attention, was driving me crazy. I was a thousands of miles away and couldn't do what I wanted to do. I wanted to date her, get to know her better, make her mine. I know it sounds crazy, because we didn't have long enough together to really find out if we could make it work...but that's part of why it was killing me. The what if factor. "What about you? What are you doing today? Got any plans for tonight?" I asked, trying to shake the bad thoughts from my head. I noticed her glance over her shoulder again and giggle. Stupid ass guys probably doing something stupid. I wanted to punch their stupid faces. She looked back at me, and I realized she just looked happy. I hadn't seen that on her face much lately. Granted, this was only the third time I had actually seen her face since we left Florida, but she hadn't really been happy. And she had been in her room, in the dark, every time. I loved seeing her happy...but the fact that it was some other guys making her that way and not me...my chest tightened a little, and I rubbed the spot that was aching. "I don't know really. I hadn't thought about it. I didn't have any plans...but we might go out. I haven't went out since we were at that club in Florida. I mean," She shrugged, and bit into a chicken nugget, flipping her hair back from her shoulder. "There isn't really anything here but redneck bars, but there's one place on the other side of town that we can try out. It just opened up. Supposed to be pretty cool." I nodded, and pursed my lips, admiring the way her hair was shining in the drab lights of the mall, her smile, when she laughed at something that Denise had just said, and the way her aqua eyes went from blue to green and back to aqua with the turn of her head. I should let her enjoy her time out with her friend. Yep, that's what I should do. "That sounds like fun. Okay, I'll let you enjoy your day. I'm gonna go over Sam's for a few, make sure he doesn't need anything, then maybe go to the gym. Text me later?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound like I was begging. She giggled a little, then looked down, before looking at me from underneath her lashes. "Of course I will. I miss you," she replied softly, her face going all sad on me again. Damn it, I wanted to be the reason for her happiness, not her sadness. "I miss you too baby girl," I replied, smiling gently. "I'll talk to you later." I disconnected the call and sighed, looking at the ceiling. My instincts were telling me that I shouldn't keep hanging on to her. That I should let her go...but I just couldn't do that. I wasn't ready. I didn't have a clue how in the hell I was going to make things work, but I was going to at least give it a shot before I called it quits. I did what I said I was going to do, and checked in with Sam. His room was right next to mine, so I didn't have to go far. He didn't need me so I grabbed my gym bag, stuffed what I needed into it, and headed out. I needed to work off this anxiety, stress...just whatever emotions were churning through me right now. I needed them gone. This became my routine. Every day, I dealt with whatever business I had to do, chilled with Sam for a little while, maybe the others, went to the gym, texted Terra a few times...and that was it. I facetimed her a few times, and hung out with my friends on a couple of weekends, but stayed home with on the others. I could see that she would get a sadness to her eyes every time we spoke on the FaceTime, and I hated that. I wanted to hear her voice and see her face, but it was killing me seeing her eyes. This was tearing her down, and I knew it. I was just too selfish to do anything about it. Before I knew it, three more weeks had passed. I hadn't been with any other girls, or so much as talked to anyone outside of my friend group. Sam had come to me a couple of times, saying he was worried about me, and wanted to talk about my end game with Terra. "Like, actually, what are your plans here Colby? I honestly wanna know. Because I can see how this is affecting you." I shook my head and looked out the window as we headed to Fanjoy to take merch pics. "I don't know Sam. I don't have one. We make good money, but I can't just ask her to move to fucking LA. We don't know each other well enough for that. I just UGH" I groaned in frustration and dragged my hand through my hair. He was quite for a minute, letting me sort my thoughts. "You know we're going to Georgia in a couple of weeks, right?" he said quietly. I nodded. "Yeah, I know." "Have you told her?" I shook my head. "No. I don't know what I'm doing right now," I admitted. He nodded, and pulled into the FanJoy headquarters. It was one of the very few times that he was driving.