Love Again

61. Can't Wait Anymore

"Tomorrow I won't be here to keep you company. I have to present my project to the professor among other people. It appears I have caught the attention of many...or maybe they just want to see the student who got forcefully marked..."

Putting on his pajamas, Yeon went on about his room packing his stuff as if speaking alone.

"I need to get me more clothes. Come to think of it, I never even got the chance to wear the ones Elric bought me. Mijin took them all. Such a shame..."

Lifting the covers, Yeon got into bed and scooted next to his fated. "Do you know how cold you become every night? Your body has changed completely post our marking. I've been taking samples from you without your consent...even your uncle seems unaware of what I'm up to. I wonder what he will do if he found out."

Shifting his body to face Stan's, Yeon played with his fated's hair. "It has grown a bit...needs trimming." Sitting up again, he reached for Stan's hands and held them gently. "Your fingernails as well. Dad Robin has been the one hellbent on grooming you. I'll remind him of it tomorrow. He wants it to be like nothing happened whenever you wake up."

Looking back at his fated, Yeon used his hand to support his body as he stared at Stan. No matter what he did, he couldn't naturally perceive Stan's scent. Apparently Stan had used so much of it until he almost ran out and whats a human being without their scent? Basically what he is now.

"How could this have happened to you before your birthday? I was planning on us going to the movies since we haven't done anything together as a couple. I was even thinking we could watch one of your favorite ones even if it put me to sleep...one would have been enough and knowing you, you'd have been happy even if I were to watch a little of it. I was willing to give it a shot since you keep nagging me about your feelings.

You saying you love me didn't make any sense in the beginning. I just couldn't comprehend how one can love another when they know little about them...or rather, how could somethign such as love happen to me? I had given up on it completely that I wanted to run from you. Now would have been a good time to do so...

Love...Isn't it just an illusion? Yet, on and on you tried to win me over but I had to shun you away. In the event one day you decided you didn't feel the same anymore, I'd have been okay with it, or if you hated me and left, I would survive.

I didn't want you to know what I was thinking or planning yet, you continually tied me down with your annoying confession that didnt seem sincere.

I hated myself.

I was ready to leave you. I was confident I'd survive on my own. Why did you have to be so affectionate with me, making me loose my resolve until my confidence turned into fear? It was because of you that I started tapping into my emotions that I'd kept hidden for years. Suddenly, I was no longer confident in my solitude but scared. I started having nightmares of a life alone, without your scent...

I became dependent on your scent. I began reffering to myself as 'we' instead of 'I' to my parents and Niel.

No. I can't put all my trust in you. I'm not confident you'll want to stay with me for long. What if you become bored of me like everyone else? Didn't you use to shun me before? What if I hurt you and you got angry?

What if you hated me?

I've had these thoughts for months on end. That's why I couldn't reply or utter a single word when you constantly told me how you feel and the more you assured me, the more scared and nervous I became.

I have a faint heart with a weak faith. I do not trust easy and that has lead to your current demise. Because of me, you lie here, helpless and unconscious. Your uncle says you do not want to wake up...as if you're afraid of opening your eyes from your slumber.

I wonder what is going through your head right now Stan, though, I could almost predict it may involve you and me. I could be wrong though...I could be wrong."

Yeon shifted his gaze to the ceiling and stared into nothingness for a while. His thoughts on that day when he'd reached to find Stan's parents making dinner happily post the trip. Everyone seemed relaxed until dad Robin had gotten a call from Elric's mother informing them of Stan's predicament. They'd all left together afterwards to his uncle's hospital. Stan had passed out after using the power of fated mates and despite it paralyzing a few of those after him, it hadn't been effective on everyone. One person still managed to get away with his car but had crushed into a tree afterwards.

It was later on discovered that guy had been Mora's brother. He injected himself with the same substance Yeon had been drugged with and played victim, pretending to have be been kidnapped by his accomplises.

"Oh well, here we are again Stan. It's either me worring your parents or you...or both of us so open your eyes. For their sake, you must recover...and...damn it...!" Yeon could feel his vision become blurry and more blurry as teas ran down his cheeks to his ears.

"This sucks..." He covered his face with his hands, feeling defeated.

"Why can't I sense you? Once more, I'm a burden...I've become a burden to you. You must recover Stan. I do not care what you feel anymore, you must recover...you must... I'll do my best to make sure you recover."

Glancing back at his unresponsive fated, Yeon continued his one sided conversation. "I was thinking of waiting until tomorrow morning to do this but I don't think I'm that patient anymore. I'm tired of living in fear of what might become of you if I don't try."

Getting out of bed, Yeon reached for his bag and took out the EyePods that Stan had given him earlier. "I keep forgetting about this. Maybe tonight, we can listen to the music you badly wanted me to play."

Putting it aside, he took out a well sealed box the size of a fist and opened it to reveal a tiny syringe and next to it were two blue pills.

"If I take one of these, I'll go into a mild heat though knowing my scent, your dads will immediately notice." Yeon glanced at his door and wondered if he'd locked it. Even so, seeing how apprehensive everyone had been lately, Yeon wondered if they would storm into the room so to keep them at bay, he texted dad Robin and informed him of his oncoming mild heat, that they shouldn't worry if they perceived his strong scents.

"That's settled. It buys me time to see what will happen tomorrow morning." Taking one pill, Yeon looked at it closely before swallowing it in one gulp. He emptied the contents of the other and dissolved it inside a drip that was attached to Stan's hand. He waited for a reaction from him but there was none.

"Makes sense. I can't feel anything either yet I just ingested one of your scents I'd taken from your samples earlier. You took mine so I hope you haven't lost connection to me...at least I think it's supposed to work. Checking Stan's racial pulse rate, Yeon couldn't perceive any heightened response.

"I can't if I should be alarmed or not since your body temperature still seems to be pretty low."

Preparing the syringe, Yeon gently injected the contents of it to Stan's upper arm and waited but there was no reaction.

"I do not know why but I'd thought both our scents mixed together would instantly recharge you up somehow. That's wishful thinking I'd have expected from a novice like you but oh well. It doesn't pay hanging around you afterall..." Yeon teased and laughed at himself.

"Better to be discreet about this. I wouldn't want anyone finding out I made physical samples of our scents."

Getting back to bed, Yeon laid next to Stan, feeling a little relief. He'd been cautious, having his doubts of what he'd just done. If he were to make more samples, he'd have to extract more from him and Stan yet at the moment, their bodies had already transitioned after being fully marked.

He began to feel his body heat up yet instead of feeling hyped up, he felt more drowsy.

"This is weird...I wanted to look at your face a little longer..." Yeon spoke as he slowly drifted into slumber.