Love Again

138. Accept the truth

"I will have you think carefully about the kind of person you are married to. From your psychiatric evaluation, I observed you appear to be normal. You have empathy, feel remorse like and respond to others like a normal person would. How then is it that you remain blind and passive to the deeds of your partner."

"He created me to be the person I am today. How can you ask me to abandon him especially now when he needs me?"

"From your statement, he moulded you as his own weakness. He must have felt too powerful, judging from his background and how much power he had and still has access to. You marked him. Do you have any memory of his imprint?"

"It was pitch dark as I remember. No joy or despair. There was nothing apart from a surge of loneliness that seeped through me. I saw a lot of blood and screaming.... Sadness, anger, solitude..."

"Well, as long as he thinks you are in a place no one can reach you, he'll react differently. We have to trick him into thinking he has the upper hand."

"You are asking me to betray my husband."

"We are asking you to help us help him so he won't cause more harm to other people."

"You haven't kept your word since we met. How can I trust your word now?"

"Do you have any idea how many violations and crimes your husband has committed? It has taken more than a year just to bring him in and none of his family members have raised a hand to help him either. They do not wish to get involved."

"They hate him, I aware."

"Actually, they told me to keep him locked up for as long as possible. They have offered their help and I have accepted it."

"How convenient. They are the ones who abandoned him to begin with. Either way, he needs me."

Elric's mother had gotten tired of dealing with the level of brainwash in front of her. Unable to further endure the negotiations, she opted to make another final offer. . "Look. Work with me and I will make it worth your while. Your husband's major cases have put him at a disadvantage and he has requested me to not get you involved in his crimes. He said he has kept his promise to you and has also allowed me to fulfill it. You wish to see your son correct?"

"My son, yes!"

"Are you aware in a few days you shall become a grandparent too?" 

"Hajin was marked?"

"How much don't you know...?" Elric's mother stood up while shaking her head. "I don't think I have the time to brief you of everything but no. It isn't your son but the woman he impregnated, not in a very appealing way. It was forced by his sister."

The joy in his eyes disappeared at the mention of Mora. "What did she do to Hajin this time? I thought she had set him free?"

"So you did know about him being kept captive?"

"Yes. My husband informed me."

"And what did you do about it?"

"You know, he is not as bad as you think. I used to be very weak when I first met him and he took me in. He too was going through a rough time in his life and we kind of connected or perhaps he was the one who connected more with me."

"We know about you being an orphan. You used to be a homeless beggar." 

"Indeed I was. I was also quite sickly, that's why I ran out of the orphanage home to survive on my own. Everyone used to laugh at me since I took too much of the orphanage funds with my expensive medication that I began feeling weary of getting sick. I also became uncomfortable having people around me whenever I needed help. It can be quite burdensome being taken care of so took matters into my own hands yet, despite my exit, not even one person looked for me afterwards.

Then one day, this guy shows up and sits beside me. He starts asking me silly questions... If I wanted out, and he would make it painless. Of course I laughed but I had been vindictive at that time. I felt alone and abandoned so I told him I'll only die after I have my revenge on everyone in that orphanage. The next day, a huge fire broke down and burned everything and everyone in it. No one survived too.

I'd thought that would make me happy but it didn't and soon enough the man came back and asked for my life again and I told him I wasn't ready. I don't know why but he represented some form of relief in my life. I wanted to go down with everything and everyone that went down with the fire but as a joke, or punishment, he said I should live in pain for making him waste his time.

He was disappointed I wasn't rejoicing at the demise of everyone that had died in that orphanage. He was a strange man, or so I thought.

Soon enough, he'd come and sit beside me everyday and chase anyone away who'd extend their hand to offer me a few coins. He wanted to see me suffer yet, despite his efforts to see me beg, I didn't. I only smiled at his relentlessness. Perhaps it had been so long that I suffered and forgot to distinguish a joke and the reality of life. Both seemed kind of funny to me and that somewhat intrigued him more and in my own silent sorrow, I just felt the need to comfort him. He appeared fine yet his face was stoic and sometimes murderous. I could never tell what he was thinking.

I didn't know how he stumbled upon information concerning my ill health or my background but he found my long lost relatives and when I told him they were strangers to me, I soon heard of their end and that was when I noticed a pattern. He always dressed well and seemed oblivious of how he stood out sitting beside a beggar. I confronted him about the demise of my family and the orphanage. He didn't deny it. He didn't seem to care that I could report him either.

It was funny really. At that time, I'd thought he could take my life the way he heartlessly did others yet I wasn't afraid of him. I just pitied him and I asked him for one last request before he can kill me, that I'd like to know how it felt to like someone since I already liked him and his response was direct. 'I don't know what it means to like someone, but I don't find your scent revolting.'

Soon enough, I got access to proper medical treatment as soon as he was expecting Hajin. His family pushed him to wed to hide his secret but that didn't work. It only gave him entertainment since in the end, he'd always come to me. Then one day, I requested to see his wife but I had to promise not to say a word. He was testing me...or my loyalty. At that time, I owed him too much to say anything so I kept my mouth shut and took care of Hajin but afterwards, there were a lot of politics between both families and I had to give up Hajin.

I've been living a life of repetitive regrets as memories of things I can not fathom flood my mind and I feel ashamed and self deprecating in the end. When I told him how I felt, he promised to change and that was when I knew he was never really going to kill me. He couldn't. We've slept next to each other many times, often catching him staring at me whenever I wake up. If he wanted to , he could have ended me a long time ago."

Rising his head, the man looked at Elric's mother and added. "Just like he trained Mora, he too was trained by his own family but they wanted to use him for political gain therefore, he has disciplined himself to only eliminate those that have similar skeletons like him to hide in their closets. The problem is he has no regard to who he harms as long as he achieves his objective., but he won't attach without reason."

"Taking a life is a crime. It doesn't matter whose life. Bad or good, he is no judge to decide that."

"I do not regret hiding his secrets nor protecting him. I know he doesn't wish to see me locked up. That will just push him further than he already has been provoked. It's not the first time this has happened to me but this has been the longest he's ever been kept on remand. He must be getting restless and his sense of twisted justice will kick in once more. My suggestion is the next time you meet him, take me with you. You said I'm his weakness. Anything including the air we breath in right now is a weapon to him therefore, if you do not wish for any harm to befall you or anyone you love, take me with you next time. Please."

"That is not up for negotiations."

"I knew you'd refuse. Therefore, I'll warn you of one thing and you'll tell me later if it didn't happen. Continue to keep him caged using one case after another, he'll play his part to please you. However, if he doesn't get out by force, a life will be taken down. Mark my words."