Love Again

167. Never Getting Out

"This is definitely the sound of death.., taking in the last slow deep breaths, a light final sigh, utter silence...

Darkness.

The irony is I can see everyone around me but I hear them not. I see their lips moving yet not a sound from their lips. Satisfying.., though I wouldn't say I felt the same way earlier as I did with my pets. It was a swift elimination with a lot of mistakes and disorder. Did I really want to kill them? Or maybe I had wanted to bring an end myself?

When did I become this destructive?

I used to be meticulous and neat, each cut precise, every pain felt and enjoyed; yet, the satisfaction from the act escaped me this time, lasting only for a few minutes...

It's missing right? I should be celebrating but I'm not! I am not at all satisfied!

This heat... Yes! It's probably because of it! It made me err!"

"You really did get back at me and you got me good Mijin."

"Another reminder to the defendant of her right to silence. Anything you utter will and may be used to disfavour you in the law court."

"Stop interrupting my thoughts woman!"

"Ms. Mora, this is not the first time your case has been brought to me depicting the violent nature of your alleged crimes and families of domestic workers seeking justice. You've under many circumstances escaped my hands in court and criminal proceedings brought against you in general. With the recent nature of the evidence brought foreword, and your confession, you are no longer under any conditions to escape my verdict. I should also clarify to you that your alleged crimes have ceased to be considered as such.

You've pleaded guilty to the charge of murder of a fellow accomplice and your legal representative, both the ages of thirty eight that aided you in your escape. You've however denied the charge of felony escape or planning it. Witnesses have confirmed you seemed shocked, insisting you were lured into the escape. A felony escape has a 15-year prison confinement. I will ask you now, Ms. Mora, do you wish to make a statement."

"Where I'm I supposed to find you Mijin? I thought you wanted to take vengeance. Did you give up, proving I was the smartest one of us two? That is unlike you. You never burnt bridges, you loved keeping people guessing, coming back to you for more."

"Ms. Mora, I will ask you again, do you wish to make a statement? A murder case begets 25 years and that is just one of them. Your other cases will give you an additional 10 years for animal brutality including detainment of domestic workers for personal experimenting, though that is open as of now, being handled by your father's lawyers. Therefore I urge you to think carefully before you speak. You may never be eligible for parole so this is a rare opportunity."

"What to do. My main focus is Yeon, my one and only redemption though something did strike me. Something that dammed lawyer said about me desiring you. Perhaps I already knew I held some sentimental affection towards you. You confuse me Yeon that even now, the thought of your name makes me feel fluttery. "

"You still wish to remain silent I see. The report shows even while in county jail you never said a word to anyone and preferred solitude over company."

"Do I like you? I'm I capable of affection? Of feeling?

Is that why that rogue lawyer threatened to take the space I had reserved for you as my moral compass? The attention I gave you?

He brought his passing upon himself and if it is indeed true I desire you and he knew of it, he should have told me before! I'm finally capable of feeling something, connected with emotions! Empathy, is this it?