Bedburg Hills

101

JESS POV

I woke up to the sun shining in my face. I'm absolutely dreading today... the day I bury my mom. I wonder if my dad even knows yet... how do I even tell him? What do I tell him? I rolled over and stood up out of bed and made my way downstairs. I turned the corner and was met by Kira, she was making breakfast.

"Goodmorning," she smiled small. Sadness was written all over her, "you hungry?"

"No," I shook my head while looking down, "I can't eat right now. Too nervous, too sad. I'm not prepared for this."

"This shouldn't have happened," she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me tightly. I started crying into her shoulder, I couldn't hold it back. "Everything's going to be okay," she tried to console me, "we'll make sure she finds her peace." I nodded my head slowly and she pulled away to go back to cooking. I sat down at the counter and looked around.

"Can I do something?" I asked her suddenly, "I don't care if it's cleaning, raking leaves outside.... I just need something to do."

"You can do whatever you want," she nodded her head, "I have art stuff in the laundry room in the cabinets. You can paint instead of cleaning if you'd like. It might be a bit more fun? If not, all the cleaning stuff is also in there." I don't know, I feel like cleaning would make me feel more productive more so than painting. I walked into the room, nothing but freshness filled my nose. I opened the cabinets, grabbing different chemicals and a couple rags. I headed into the bathroom to start cleaning.

After about twenty minutes went by before I heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Goodmorning Kira," Kais voice rang in my ears. I wonder how he's doing, after all, his boyfriend almost died there. I walked out as the two of them made small talk. "Hey Jess," he turned and looked at me, "how you feeling?" I shrugged my shoulders and put the cleaning stuff back up. I lost interest in it.

"Hungry?" Kira asked, "food just got done."

"Sure," Kai nodded his head without hesitation, "I'm gonna run up there and see if maybe he wants any."

"How is he?" I asked, "is he doing better?" He stopped and looked at me for a few seconds before smiling.

"Yeah," he nodded once, "yeah I think so. Just minor injuries that are healing now."

"Good," I nodded, "that's good." He headed upstairs and I walked downstairs into the basement. She laid on the table lifeless but she looked at peace... atleast. "Hey mom," I walked beside her face, looking her over. Her hands were placed on her chest, one hand over the other, "I can't believe you're gone. I really can't. You shouldn't be gone. You should be here..." The tears started to fall down my face as I slowly grabbed her hand. "I love you so much mom and gosh I am going to miss you so much, I already do. You were the best mom anyone could have ever had. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. I mean what am I supposed to tell dad? Does dad know already? Were you just taken randomly? I'm just so confused and I'm so sad." I sat down on the ground and leaned my head against the table leg, closing my eyes and breathing out heavily.

"Hey," I heard Alex say from the top of the stairs, "baby you okay?" He started walking down and walked over to me, sitting beside me on the floor.

"I'm so sad," I shook my head as I tried to hide the tears, "I just- I- that's my mom and now she's gone. I-" His arms wrapped firmly around me and he pulled me onto him. I hugged him tightly, burying my head into his neck.

"It's okay," he whispered as he rubbed my back up and down, "it'll be okay."

"None of this is okay," I shook my head while sitting up and looking at him, "none of it. None of it will be okay, ever. My mom is gone! I won't ever see her again."