What Matters

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(DAYU)

Qing stayed in the Big Boys meeting the whole afternoon. Him and the King and my father didn't even join us for lunch that consisted of my mother's dishes. I even spied Khan the mafia boss coming through the back entrance to join "the Meeting".

I had to dine with the Queen and the Queen Dowager with my mother and Baozang.

I am surrounded by women.

Fuck me sideways.

So it's true. Being a Queen and a Consort had no difference. I am delegated to spend knitting with the women regardless of my gender.

I am not kidding. They are knitting. I swear! Knitting while having afternoon tea. Even Baozang is an expert knitter. She can knit scarves and hats and gloves. She is currently knitting a sheer sweater to be delivered to Li Yi.

The scene on the Queen's chamber is bizarre, let me tell you. Me, in my shirt, fitted slacks and soft black shoes surrounded by women elegantly dressed while they are knitting.

What?

I sighed. "I am bored," I said without thinking.

"Feng Jian Yu," my mother tap my thigh softly. "What a thing to say around the Queen and Queen Dowager." She reprimanded me.

The Queen Dowager smiled at me kindly, "Are we boring you, my Consort."

Oh...fuck! Stupid! I want to clobber my own head.

I blushed, "No. Not at all. I just..." think fast Feng Jian Yu! Anything! "I miss Qing." I said the first thing that popped into my head. "I though we could, escape for a moment...and maybe...talk?"

"Or make out," Baozang smirked at me when I gave her a warning look.

The other ladies laughed at me. I slumped some more. "They are excluding me," I pouted.

"You have to accustomed yourself on that, my Consort." The Queen spoke. "Do you think I know everything that the King does just because I am married to him. No. And frankly, I don't need or like to know everything that is going on with him. He has Shouwei for that..."

I was stunned, "You mean, there are things you don't know about the King? Huh?"

"Why yes," the Queen seems proud. "At the same time, he doesn't know all I am doing. Dayu ah...in a perfect world, a husband and wife will know everything about their spouses, but that is not realistic..."

"Or possible..." my mother added. She and the Queen nodded to each other. "Dayu ah," the Queen again. "You must accept this fact now, before you married Qing. You will never know Qing's every activity. There will be things he will keep to himself thinking it will just trouble you if you know. He is doing that, not to spite you or exclude you or keep you in the dark. He is doing that because he thinks he is protecting you. Some manly thinking or whatever..."

Baonzang and I choked at the same time when the Queen said "whatever".

"The point is, you will not be aware of everything so don't aspire to know everything. It will bound to be a heartbreak for you. As a Consort, your job is to support your King. Listen to him. Listen to what he is willing to share. Listen carefully to his mood. Stay with him even if you are frustrated and even if you are close to killing him. When you are frustrated and ready to kill him, take a step back and breath. Then ask him to do that activity you love to do with him..."

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