Standing in the funeral was the hardest thing anyone could of done in a life time.
Izzy is heart broken, Jace is lost, and all his friends are heartbroken as well.
I stand closet to the casket and feel tears in my eyes. Everyone is quiet in the room giving him respect, but how am I supposed to be quiet when my husband just died.
I look at the casket and a hear wretching sob escape my throat. I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn and see Clary, Jace, Izzy and Simon.
Clary pulls me in and I immediately start crying harder, not caring who is around.
"Shh...... Magnus it's okay."
I pull away and shake my head and look back at the casket. "No it's not. It won't be biscuit."
I quickly turn around and leave the room waiting for others to leave too. Once I know everyone is gone I go back inside.
"You died in my arms." I say quietly to no one in particular. "You died in my arms, you freaking died and then you left instructions saying that I wasn't allowed to save your life!" I scream throwing the note at the casket. I hear doors open but I ignore them.
"I can't lose you." I say quietly. "I won't survive, and that's your fault. You made me love you! You made me let you in! And then you freaking died in my arms!" I scream again punching the casket.
I feel arms around me pulling me away from the casket and we both sink to the ground. I notice everyone back in the room, and once again Clary next to me, with Izzy too.
"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" I scream over and over again, my breathing getting heavier and I look up at Alexander's casket again. "I loved you."
I finally let go and cry in Izzy and Clary's arms as everyone else is watching. "I loved you." I whisper again, falling asleep to a dream filled with Alec.
A dream where Alec was alive and happy, a dream where Alec was with Magnus, not alone.
