I walk into the apartment expecting to see the lights on and a glittery man walk my way to welcome me with a kiss but instead I walk in with all the lights off, the ground cold from no one walking on it and no glittery boyfriend.
Rolling my eyes I throw my boots off and put them next to the door. I do the same with my coat and my bow and walk off into the kitchen.
Grabbing a drink I sit at the kitchen island and put my head in my hands. Coming home from a rough day at work to absoulty no one for the past couple days can kinda make you mad.
Sitting up straighter I look at the time and see I wasted two hours thinking to myself and slowly drinking my beer. So I stand up and head to the bedroom.
Not wanting to actually sleep I lay down on my side and breath in the scent of Magnus. I haven't woken up next to him or fallen asleep next to him for days.
As I think about this thoughts run around in my mind that I never want to think about but they could be true.
I mean a Warlock who has his whole life ahead of him, literally, chooses a 18 year old shadowhunter who could die any day.
I mean it's not like I'm going to live with him forever or we are going to grow old together. I'm just a shadowhunter.
Someone who works for the untrusting Clave who hasn't been with anyone and likes to wear the color black all the time and is a socially awkward outcast.
A outcast who is dating the most glittery, colorful, outgoing person you could ever know. It wouldn't be surprising if Mangus found someone better or someone who will actually live forever.
As I think about these things I come back to reality and feel the tears running down my face. I'm a freak. A freaky outcast who will never be like my siblings or impress the love of my life. What if I'm not even Magnus love of his life? What if deep down I'm just another fling?
I sit up straight and shake my head and close my eyes tightly. No. No. I'm not a outcast. A freak. A fling. Why would I even think like that.....but then there's always that little voice in the back of my head telling me it could all be true.
Laying back down I stare at the ceiling as I wipe the tears away and try to get rid of those thoughts. While doing so I hear the front door open and the familiar sound of boots clicking across the floor.
I then hear something get put into the sink, since it's super quiet in the house. I then remember I left my drink half empty on the counter. Shit.
"Alexander?" I hear Magnus say. He opens up the door and looks at me. I slowly sit up but use my elbows as support.
"Hi." I say quietly, "what time is it?"
"Midnight. What are you doing awake?"
"I ---- I couldn't sleep. Thoughts were keeping me awake."
"Thoughts? Can you explain the alcohol on the counter?"
"I only had one beer."
"Alexander, the bottle in the cabinet can tell me other wise. Even I don't touch that it's not my cup of tea, so tell me what's keeping you up."
"I just want you home......"
"Alexander?"
"I miss it." I say quietly as tears form in my eyes again, "it's not home if your not here."
