Imagines and One-Shots (Book Three)

Ghost of You (Luke Hemmings)

u know... sometimes... we make a choice in life... and this was mine... and we have no right to act like this wasn't coming at some point anyway... might as well make it now

~

Here I am waking up, still can't sleep on your side
There's your coffee cup – the lipstick stain fades with time
If I can dream long enough, you'd tell me I'd be just fine
I'll be just fine

Luke didn't know why he couldn't get rid of it, pick it up and wash it out and shove it in the back of the cupboard – something...anything... It was mocking him, honestly, the mug she always used still sitting in the same spot she left it on the kitchen counter, her now faded lipstick stain still staring back at him every time his eyes happened to glance in that direction.

Even though it had been over a year, the day she left still replayed in his mind when he was awake and plagued his dreams when he wasn't. He should have known something was wrong – she never left dirty dishes just sitting out like that, and he knew it annoyed her when he did it too. And to see her mug sitting there with her nowhere in sight... He'd be lying if he said it didn't immediately make his heart stop.

She had done this before – run off with no warning that she was leaving – but she never left her mug out on the counter before... And more importantly, she always came back the next day.

But when the next day came and went with no sign of her return, he started to worry. And the next week came and went... And so did the next month, and the month after that, and the month...

He tried calling her twice every day for the first month – God knows she would never go anywhere without her phone – but she never answered. It wasn't like her not to answer. Until 29 days after her disappearance.

It had been after that 58th call that he finally heard from her again. She had let the call ring out, making Luke sigh, but the buzzing of his phone made him stop before he could put it on the nightstand beside him and try to sleep another night without her. He froze when he saw the name attached to the message – hers – and his heart only became heavier when he read the two texts along with it.

I love you, Lu
But please stop calling me

And even though it was a text and not her voice, he still knew – somehow – that it really was her. And he made the heartbreaking decision to do just that.

So I drown it out like I always do
Dancing through our house with the ghost of you
And I chase it down with a shot of truth
Dancing through our house with the ghost of you

Did Luke regret the decision to leave her alone? To be quite honest, he wasn't sure. But he knew that, whatever she was dealing with, she was happy he wasn't calling her anymore. And somehow, that was what he had to tell himself to keep going.

Cleaning up today, found that old Zepplin shirt
You wore when you ran away, and no one could feel your hurt
We're too young, too dumb, to know things like love
But I know better now, better now

Though, that obviously didn't mean he didn't still have his bad days of just wanting her to come back to him. Much like the coffee cup on the kitchen counter, Luke couldn't bear to move any of her things.

Her toothbrush still resided in the bathroom next to his. Her pillowcase remained unwashed because it still somehow smelled like her. The playlist of all the love songs she made on Luke's phone because they reminded her of him still sat there, unlisted to and undeleted. The shirts she always wore of his remained stuffed in the back of his closet, unable to think about anyone but her wearing them.

So I drown it out like I always do
Dancing through our house with the ghost of you
And I chase it down with a shot of truth
Dancing through our house with the ghost of you

It was hard to imagine life with her. It was hard to continue on with every day knowing she wasn't coming home. Luke didn't know how he managed to do it, but he did.

He kept himself busy with writing music and spending time with friends and family. But he knew they knew he was still hurting – it was obvious every time they looked at him.

They didn't hear him giggling about something she'd said while they were in the other room. They didn't hear her giggling when Luke tickled her in response to her not laughing at his lame jokes. They didn't walk into wherever they'd snuck off to at gatherings, finding them slow dancing to Luke's soft humming as he held her close to him.

He just wasn't as happy and carefree and fearless as he was when he had her.

Too young, too dumb
To know things like love
Too young, too dumb

People who didn't know them used to tell them that they wouldn't last – that they were just two reckless kids who didn't know what love was or what they wanted yet. But Luke knew they were wrong. Luke knew the only reason he was reckless was because she managed to bring that side of him out. Luke knew he was in love and he knew what he wanted...

Luke knew what he wanted was her.

So I drown it out like I always do
Dancing through our house with the ghost of you
And I chase it down with a shot of truth
That my feet don't dance like they did with you

~

i wrote this in like an hour so i hope this wasn't too bad but i really like it

Song used: "Ghost of You" by 5 Seconds of Summer