Queen's Obsession

Chapter 122

*Suzanna's P.O.V*

I stumble slightly, sliding into an alleyway as I try to catch my breath. I was fairly certain I had lost Orion a while back, seeing as I had doubled back at one point to confuse him and then headed the way I actually intended which was north. I made it out of the main part of the city, staying on the outskirts. At least I thought I was on the outskirts, I had never really been this far away from the castle since I started working there.

My feet already hurt, it feels like I've been walking for forever. I wince as I feel the top of my shoes rub against my ankle, making me wince at how tender they feel. This had not been a very well thought out plan. I mean I did not prepare for being in pain. That wasn't part of the whole running away plan!

I was supposed to run away, find someone who would give me a ride, and make it home in an instant. That was how it went in my head and for some reason my mental plans weren't going like they were supposed to. I huff as I finish catching my breath, forcing myself to continue walking.

I missed Seraphina already, wanting her to hold me and make my owies go away. I shake my head, pushing away my little side who so desperately wants me to turn around and run back to Seraphina. I couldn't do that, she didn't want me. She didn't want that part of me either. Little me was just going to have to accept that she didn't want to be our mama.

I nibble on my bottom lip, glancing back towards the castle. I had gotten surprisingly far away from it. It loomed in the distance, looking so cold and unappealing now. It no longer seemed like a place I could ever call home, instead it seemed like a place that had been my prison for far too long.

A prison that I missed, a prison that I craved to go back to if I was wanted. But I wasn't wanted, I was just a burden to Seraphina and I knew that. A part of me wondered why she had kept me around. If I was such a burden, she could have gotten rid of me at any time. So why hadn't she?

I furrow my brows in frustration, a frown on my lips as I think about that. I force myself to keep walking, not daring to stop in case it gives anytime for Orion to catch up to me. If he even tried to do such a thing. I doubted he would, he would probably return to Seraphina and she would be happy to be rid of me. However I couldn't risk the chance of still being followed by guards.

My lips press into a thin line, a small frown tugging at my lips as I look around. I've lost myself in the alleys, moving from empty alley to empty alley. My feet throb from the running and every breath I take feels sharp. It's exhilarating though, this feeling of freedom, of flight. I feel as free as Montague must when takes off into the air.

I wonder what it would be like to be able to do that. To just up and go, to never worry about what anyone wants. That's kind of what I'm doing now though, taking my freedom and running with it. I'll never be able to be exactly like Montague but I can still take this one instance of flight I've allowed myself and run with it.

My feet crunch on the gravel that covers the alleyways, the sound the only thing I can focus on besides my breathing. I know that I pass by people that are talking, however I can never focus on them for long. Tiny snatches of conversation go in one ear and out the other as I arrive at a tavern.

I enter, holding my breath as my eyes dart around. Men, so many men and yet none of them I know. An odd thing, I had started to recognize the guard's faces and knew them overtime. How odd it was to be surrounded by strange men now, to not know a single face. My lips press together as I make my way to the bar, going to the barkeep.

"A room for the night," I tell him, seeing how his gaze seems to roam over me for just a second too long. It sends chills down my back and I absentmindedly let my gaze flicker from him, letting my gaze never rest for too long.

"20 gold," the man says and my eyes narrow, a scoff escaping me before I can stop myself.

"Do you take me as a fool? A room here would be no more than 7," I say, my words sharp as I meet his gaze. I feel like Seraphina for just a brief moment, like I am her daughter as I channel her ability to speak so coldly and clearly.

"The other 13 are to assure you leave this place unharmed and unsullied," he says, making me blink. His words send a chill down my spine, my lips pressed together. The threat was so casual, I could have almost missed it.

"I will pay 15. 7 for the room and 8 for the protection, no more than that," I negotiate. Maybe not a very good negotiation but still a negotiation nonetheless.

"You are willing to negotiate on your safety? Do you know what you are negotiating against?" he asks, leaning close. I can smell the alcohol on his breath, the rot that clings to his skin.

"You do not scare me, I do not care for idle threats," I retort, glaring at him as I hold his gaze. His teeth are rotted, likely due to copious amounts of alcohol. Our eyes are locked together, his dark eyes reflecting the dim light that was in the room.

"15 gold it is," he says after a moment. I nod my head, slipping my fingers into the money bag under my skirt. I pull out seven gold, dropping them into his hand.

"I'll give you the rest if you can actually insure my protection," I say softly, feeling his hand close around the gold coins. I hold his gaze and he reluctantly nods, bowing his head slightly. He drops a small gold key into my hand, letting me take it.

"3rd room on the right, top of the stairs," he says. I turn on my heel, not even glancing at him or any other man that was in the tavern. I head up the steps, only glancing back at the tavern people when I am at the top of the stairs. I feel cold as I turn my head away, going to my room.

I unlock the door, stepping inside and shutting it behind me. I close my eyes as I let the first tears fall, locking the door as I slide down against it. The tears feel hot and sticky against my cold skin, dropping against my hands I stare at them.

They won't stop shaking, why won't they stop shaking?