Hard to Love - (chanbaek)

111

TW: Weapons

"Why are you crying again?"

Huh?

Crying?

I'm not-

Oh.

I am crying.

Why am I crying?

"Are you blaming yourself again?"

Blaming myself?

For what?

What have I-

There are many things I regret, actually.

But which one would I be crying about-

"Baekhyun!"

Bang!

Oh.

The body on the ground seemed familiar. The gravel underneath his body and the bullet engraved into his abdomen-

That's right.

My biggest regret of them all.

Where it all started.

Where everyone started to hate me.

That stupid baseball game.

"It happened ages ago... why do you still cry for them?"

Cry? For them?

Why wouldn't I?

After all my attempts to escape,

Why do I always fall back to square one?

—————————————————————

TW: Blood/Eating Disorder/Weapons

The dream Baekhyun was having was upsetting. Why did he always have to remember the past, and why was that voice in his head always judging his feelings? Nothing ever made sense. He stuffed his head into the pillow while turning his head to the other side.

Click.

Everything happened so fast.

One second Baekhyun was lying on his stomach and attempting to sleep again, and in another, he's up on his knees with a gun pointing towards the door. His eyes were fierce, along with his grit teeth that seeped into his tongue. His face fell with instant regret once he saw his uncle raise his hands with an awkward smile.

"Calm it, kid. It's just me." Baekhyun dropped his hand with a mumbled apology. What a mess. He rubbed his face and turned to the clock.  "It's already 10 AM?" He looked up when he heard the smooth hum. He tapped his sniffling nose and waited for his uncle to speak. "Yup. That's why I'm here. Breakfast is ready. You slept early yesterday; I'm really glad you were able to rest. You knocked out after Daniel visited you, like around 8 PM-" The older eyed him curiously. His hair was unusually straight and wasn't sticking up in a bird's nest, while his face seemed slimmer along with his darkened eye circles. His skin was paler than usual, and his collarbones were poking through his skin a lot more prominently. Heechul gulped at the sight.