headcannon for thor being a FBI profiler

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(this is one of my favorite things ever)

so he would always try and like, help out.
he would love it so much too
and you had to keep telling him over and over that he cant come on investigations with you because he isnt a profiler
and he would get pouty too
but he would always come visit you at the office
and other guys on the team getting intimidated by him, cause have you seen the man??
and when you went on investigations, he would always call you, text you, or eve visit you, but you had to put your foot down cause he was getting in the way
so, he would be so damn in love with the iDeA of this, that he would fucking aPPLY to be one
and of course he got it
so now, you had to deal with him whispering in your ear at work, random jokes, and questions 'y/n, how does this...thing work? It goes in blank and comes out with words on it?'
"loki, is that you?' to almost every electronic device
so when the team had to go to a random country, he would just pick up his hammer and be like, 'I will meet you guys there.' you would all look at each other, but you eventually got used to it. so if you were profiling someone, and thor just couldnt help himself, so he just 'oh that reminds me, on time, my brother loki...' and he would tell the snake story
but when he was threatened to get fired, honestly, the whole team was sad, cause he is just. so good at what he does. he would walk out of the boss' office giving a thumbs up to everyone'
saving the world by day...and by night too'

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