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EXPLAIN, CHEESE

A/N: just trust the process😼

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Formaggio has a lot of traits, and smelling good is not one of them.

He either smells like cigarettes mixed with cum, or piss mixed with oil. Part of the reason why he shaved his hair is because it was greasy BECAUSE THE BITCH DIDN'T SHOWER FOR SOME REASON???

But- as Melone says- an angel once descended upon the smelly ass man, and he finally (FINALLY) started showering.

The angel's name is Illuso, and he casted a spell on Formaggio that made him want to look good. To smell good. That's why everyone thanked the gods when they started dating: because the apartment no longer smelled like ranch and sweaty socks.

Formaggio is head over heels for Illuso, and if putting on a little bit of deodorant is what gets him laid, then oh boy is he eating the deodorant bar.

He would never cheat. The idea didn't ever cross his mind. When Formaggio falls in love, nothing can stop him.

So... he was surprised when today he opened the door to his room and...

Well, I'll leave you with the rest.

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"Finally I'm hooOOHELLOOOO!!!" The redhead almost fell back at the sight in front of him. Illuso was in his bed??? Shirtless?? For some reason?? What an unusual sight.

Formaggio didn't know if he should jump backwards or jump that man's bones but he sure as hell jumped.

Just as he was about to join his boyfriend on the bed, Illuso stopped him, placing his boot on Formaggio's torso, "Not so fast, big boy. I want you on that chair. Naked."

BOY OH BOY, IT'S LUNCH TIME!😃

He didn't even think twice. He flew to the chair, taking his clothes off in a matter of nanoseconds, waiting for orders on what to do next.

Then, Illuso walked over to him, his hands clearly hiding something behind his back. When he got on his knees (the redhead obviously wasn't here with us, on Earth, anymore. He was in Cockland or some shit), Formaggio started shaking with anticipation. It's not even his birthday, but he sure thanks the cake his boyfriend carries.😼

The brunette then finally revealed what his hands had been hiding.

They were fucking handcuffs.

And Formaggio is not exactly a religious person, but he sure is thanking God now.

As Illuso cuffed his hands to the back of the chair and his feet to the chair's legs, he smirked up at his boyfriend.

"Where is this coming from? I knew you were a kinky one but I wasn't expecting this." Illuso didn't answer. He just smiled, and kept working his way with the handcuffs.

As his hands trailed up the man's abs, Formaggio's breath hitched, "Thank God no one's home. I have you all to myself." He smirked down at his boyfriend, who sighed, "Yeah... no one's home."

"Just know, if you're gonna sit on my face, I have asthma." Illuso chuckled at his boyfriend's comment, "Don't worry about that."

Then, Illuso pulled a blanket and spread it under the chair, intriguing Formaggio, "Hey, what's that for?😃"

"The blood, obviously."

"The wh-"

Scissors.

Fucking scissors- the ones you cut plants with. Placed right in front of his wee-wee.

And Formaggio screamed in horror.

"WHO'S THE BITCH, CHEESE MAN??"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING-"

"I'M NOT STUPID, FORMAGGIO, I SAW YOUR TEXTS WITH THIS WHORE NAMED "CARLA" HEART EMOJI!"

"SHE'S MY SISTER, SHE'S MY SISTER-"

"OOOHHHH IT'S ALWAYS THE SISTER ALRIGHT," he gave a warning snip in front of the redhead's crotch, who had him yelping like a 5 year old kid, "I HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD, FORMAGGIO!"

"AND I'M SCARED FOR MY LIFE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG😭😭😭"

And he was. But the adrenaline blinded him, yet in the back of his mind, he knew Illuso didn't have the balls to lay a finger on him. He never did. Actually, his relationship with Illuso made him almost forget about the cunt he used to date. The trauma was still there, but at least he could breathe now.

So his brain was on autopilot. Why the fuck did he have the brilliant idea to leave his phone unlocked in front of Illuso, right when he was texting his sister?? Especially with no context! He can't really blame Illuso for being curious, bro's phone was right there!

"I didn't look through your texts because I wanted to respect your privacy, BUT YOU BETTER START EXPLAINING SHIT, FORMAGGIO!"

"LOOK- look... if you don't believe me, you can scroll through the texts. You'll see that she's truly my sister."

"You NEVER mentioned a sister to me!" And the scissors were now in front of his eyes.

"GAH BUT GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME- Seriously, you can scroll!"

"I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt, just because I'm in a good mood, today."

"If this is your "good mood" I don't want to see the bad one..."

Illuso huffed, throwing the scissors across the room. He grabbed Formaggio's phone, showing him the lock screen so he could type the password.

"The password is 4444."

The brunette furrowed his eyebrows, "I wanted you to type the password."

"Yeah, Lu! I have handcuffs preventing me from doing so! Can you take these o-"

"Why do you have your sister's name with a heart in front of it?"

"Look, we're close okay?!"

Illuso chuckled, "Sweet home Alabama..."

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As he scrolled through the messages, his only feeling was guilt. Clearly Formaggio and his sister were just close growing up, so they talked a lot. Nothing alarming was ever mentioned, but the last conversation did hit Illuso like a moving train.

"You... you want to introduce me to your sister?"

Formaggio (who by the way, was still handcuffed to the chair) nodded, "Yeah, it was supposed to be a surprise. She's really eager to meet you, since she's coming back from Croatia for a business trip."

"She lives in fucking Croatia?"

"I know, right?!"

"Bro, I only know them because they beat Brazil in the damn world cup-"

"I KNOW, RIGHT?!"

"I feel terrible, now. I'm sorry, Mag."

"Don't be. I'd be worried too if a random chick I never heard of, had a heart right next to her name on your contacts. But can you please let me go, now?"

"Hmmm... but do I want to?"

Yes, he did, in fact, want to. Risotto and the others arrived shortly after, and they had to make lunch.

But just because he wanted, doesn't mean he did it. Because it's Illuso. And he's an idiot. And he forgets stuff.

So there stayed Formaggio for the next 2 hours, handcuffed to the chair, naked, in his room.

And Illuso ate ice cream!😃🤌