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WOOO CAPITALISM‼️

Happy holidays, everyone! Remember to not eat too much candy🧍‍♀️ Stay hydrated and rest well! ^-^ This chapter is huge but it was worth it... BRUABBA PEOPLE I REPEAT BRUABBA‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

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"So... you're telling me 'gender' is different from 'sex'?"

"Yeah, cuz I didn't have gender with your mom last night."

"Mista, my mom is dead."

"God fucking damn it, I always forget about that detail..."

When Mista told Narancia that gender and sex are two different things, the boy went crazy. It's as if he'd just heard the answer to everything in the universe. So he went around the mansion, making a poll for the residents to show their answers, 'Does your gender match your sex?'

Mariah gave him a whole lesson on anatomy, Hol Horse almost called him a slur, and Steely Dan was on the verge of hate-criming the guy. Which is ironic, because everyone in that mansion (besides the child and the falcon) has fucked Dio Brando.

Speaking of Hol Horse- ever since he found out that Polnareff is inside the turtle, he didn't catch a break to stop making his life miserable. It was truly a sight to behold.

But when it was finally time for Christmas dinner, it's as if the whole place got together at one table, just throwing food and insults around, and boy, does Bruno want to take his kids to McDonald's.

But the dinner was fun, nevertheless. Except when Donatello had the brilliant idea to prank his younger brothers and tie their shirts to the almost burning oven. Giorno had to intervene and Donatello's face wasn't intact after it...

Proof of that, were the sounds of Giorno's autistic 'Muda's for 10 whole minutes.

Dio is so proud of him.

But everything was fine again, at the end of the dinner, cuz it was time to open presents! Man, and fuck Dio's minions, they can open their own presents. Bucciarati's gang had their own plans in mind.😼

This year, they decided to change plans, and play secret Santa! So, as to not disturb the fun of the residents of the mansion, the group joined together in the living room, and started their little game.

"Okay, who wants to start? Remember that the budget couldn't go up more than 40 euros, and there's no backing off. Otherwise we'll cut off your toes." Trish said, throwing herself onto the big couch.

"I start, thank you very much!" Narancia announced, walking up to the Christmas tree, and taking a small bag from underneath, "My secret Santa has an irrational fear, and likes the idea of tormenting us at 7 in the morning."

Okay, maybe this is going to be harder than they expected...

Trish started, "I was thinking maybe Guido, but getting him to wake up at 7 would be a miracle from the gods."

"He does have an irrational fear."

"Oi, fearing the cursed number is a VERY valid fear!" Mista argued.

"Wait," Sheila started, "It's Bucciarati. He always wakes us up at exactly 7 in the morning by clanging metal objects together in front of our faces for some reason."

"He doesn't have an irrational fear, as far as I'm aware."

"He does: insects." Giorno remembered, "Remember when we first moved in the villa and I put my little animals inside that little glass box in my room?"

"Oohh yeah... Bruno went bonkers with that thing."

"I can't help it! They're small, and you don't know when they'll crawl into your mouth at night!" Bruno argued (I agree, insects are Satan's doing).