Passione Groupchat

Sanity In A Bottle

DM from ⁉️ to Pudding.

⁉️: bro, two things

Pudding: I'm reading Risotto's annual report, this better be important.

⁉️: okay, first
⁉️: if one of us accidentally gets hurt during work that doesn't involve physical violence aka report work/patrol/etc, do we have an insurance as the crime syndicate?

Pudding: we do, but Giogio pays for everything in that case. If you get hurt during a mission, however, you're on your own. Of course, because we're your friends, we'll take care of you, but if you worked with a famiglia that doesn't care, you'd be on your own

⁉️: okaaayyy😼

Pudding:
Pudding: Narancia, your elongated "okay" is not giving me good vibes

⁉️: I need your help Fugueto

Pudding: oh god, Nara...

⁉️: so I'm broke

Pudding: how.

⁉️: doesn't matter
⁉️: listen
⁉️: I need you to break my leg

Pudding: kys

⁉️: and then I'll lay down next to the staircase and pretend I fell!

Pudding: and what do I get in return?

⁉️: 5% of my money

Pudding: deal

⁉️: really? Only with 5%? That was easy

Pudding: yeah Narancia, because I know how to manage my money, and I'm not broke

⁉️: okay so what's the plan

Pudding: okay first
Pudding: just a little push down the roof

⁉️: what if I fall on my head?

Pudding: then maybe whatever is wrong in that brain of yours, will go back to place

⁉️: I'm not risking this

Pudding: okay, next, you can put your leg over the train rail and wait for the train to come

⁉️: bro I want my leg broken, not chopped off💀 do I look like fucking Polnareff to you? And what about the third railing??

Pudding: okay theeennn I can run you over with the lawn mower

⁉️: Fugo you're scaring me, how do you come up with these so easily?

Pudding: when I still gave you math lessons I had an entire list of ways to make you suffer

⁉️: thank God Giogio appeared😦

Pudding:
Pudding: okay I have another idea, this might work

⁉️: what is it

Pudding:
Pudding: don't tell Giorno, but I can drug you

⁉️: bro how💀💀

Pudding: you know how Giogio is working on the traffic of medicine and pills not doctor prescribed?

⁉️: yeah and it's giving me a hell of a headache too >:(

Pudding: well we have some sedatives
Pudding: we just have to steal them from Abba

⁉️: that's so morally bankrupt...
⁉️: I'm in.

Pudding: okay so the plan is
Pudding: we put you to sleep and then
Pudding:
Pudding: you know what? Leave it to me

⁉️: okay! :D

_______________

"We Need A Free Day"

Pudding: @/TheGoldenSucc GET ONLINE NOW!!

MommyShark: HWATS GOING ON

Girlboss: IS YOUR ROOM ON FIRE???

EmoGworl: DID SOMEBODY TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT???

Doraemon: dad ☝️

1 participant is now online.

TheGoldenSucc: what's going on?

Pudding: it's Narancia
Pudding: he fell down the stairs and broke his leg!

TheGoldenSucc: really now?

Pudding: yeah!
Pudding: and it's UGLY
Pudding: look!
Pudding: 1 attachment.

TheGoldenSucc: hm
TheGoldenSucc: well, that's not good

EmoGworl: YOU WOULDN'T SAY

KillMe: Christ, his knee is bent over backwards...

Girlboss: GET THAT AWAY FROM ME OH MY GOD

Doraemon: LMFAO HE LOOKS LIKE A HORSE AHAHAHAH

TheGoldenSucc: well, that's not a problem.

Pudding: you're gonna give him the money for him to go to the doctor?

TheGoldenSucc: no need
TheGoldenSucc: I have Gold Experience and hands
TheGoldenSucc: I'll bend his knee to its original form with my arms, and then use Gold to cure his fracture
TheGoldenSucc: done and done

Pudding: oh
Pudding: well, that's gonna hurt

TheGoldenSucc: he shouldn't have asked you to break his leg then

Pudding: uh

TheGoldenSucc: yeah Fugo, I saw you putting the leg of unconscious Narancia on the table, and then throwing yourself on his knee
TheGoldenSucc: then he woke up
TheGoldenSucc: and he screamed
TheGoldenSucc: and then he fainted again, but this time from the pain

Pudding: we can't hide shit from you, can we?

TheGoldenSucc: I have eyes in the back of my head, Fugo
TheGoldenSucc: if he wanted insurance money he could've just asked
TheGoldenSucc: I would've given it to him because he makes me feel sad for his life choices

EmoGworl: then why the hell do we have an insurance??
EmoGworl: you ARE the insurance

TheGoldenSucc: because if we need money we can get it easily. Social Services don't need to know what happened
TheGoldenSucc: for example, I'm gonna ask them right now the money for Narancia's terrible accident :(
TheGoldenSucc: we go to the hospital, they give us the money, I cure him at home and boom! We're rich

EmoGworl: you're such a good person for some stuff but so vile for others...

TheGoldenSucc: how did you people survive without me before I joined???

Doraemon: we stapled our wounds shut
Doraemon: that was the most effective method

Girlboss: also I just realized
Girlboss: Narancia is gonna look like a clown tomorrow, on new years
Girlboss: in a wheelchair, shaved head, bro will look like he suffered a lethal accident on a meth lab

MommyShark: how do you know how those look like?

Girlboss: anyways

1 participant is now online.

⁉️: Giogio I broke my leg :(

Pudding: cut the crap, Nara. He knows

⁉️: man
⁉️: I'm gonna take a piss
⁉️: SHIT FUCK I FORGOT MY KNEE IS BENT OVER GOD DANN IT THID SHIT HIRTS

Doraemon: haha

⁉️: I'll shit in your pillow as soon as I can walk again