"I Wish I Was Never Born™"
TheGoldenSucc: I need to talk to you people
ZAWORUDO: OH MY BEAUTIFUL GOLDEN PRINCE! It's so nice that you're talking to us deliberately!
Donatello: just when I thought my day couldn't get worse
TheGoldenSucc: good to see you too, Donny
Donatello: up your ass.
Rikiel: hi Giogio!!
Ungalo: hi big bro!!
Enrico: hello, Giorno.
TheGoldenSucc: good, everyone is online
TheGoldenSucc: listen, I'm saying this for good measure, but mostly towards padre and Donatello because I know how the two of you can be a fine pair of dicks
ZAWORUDO: stoooopppp you're gonna make me bluuuuushhhh
TheGoldenSucc: so, me and the others are gonna start packing up soon, so I just wanted to ask you
TheGoldenSucc: please don't be idiots when we come over...
Donatello: you're giving me ideas. You know, Pet Shop loves me
TheGoldenSucc: set Pet Shop against me and I'll transform your bed into a crocodile
TheGoldenSucc: also, padre, tell Mariah not to seduce my friends, they're more than uninterested ☹️
ZAWORUDO: she does whatever she wants, I have nothing to do with it 👀
TheGoldenSucc: padre, last time I was there, I had to almost call cps because you were having an orgy right above my room
Rikiel: welcome to my world
ZAWORUDO: I told you to buy earplugs
TheGoldenSucc: I'M NOT THE ONE WHO HAS TO KEEP UP WITH YOUR SEXUAL ADVENTURES😭
Donatello: OH NOW YOU'RE WORRIED
Donatello: YOU THINK HE'S HAPPY THAT HIS "PERFECT SON" IS GETTING BANGED BY A GUY HE HATES??
TheGoldenSucc: I'M NOT GETTING BANGED BY ANYONE
Donatello: ah, so you're a pussy
TheGoldenSucc: no, I'm just too young and not ready🧍♂️
ZAWORUDO: that's right. You don't need to have sex right now. Or ever, for that matter. Especially with Fungus. Coward.
ZAWORUDO: although, teenagers are very horny creatures
TheGoldenSucc: I'm one of a kind
ZAWORUDO: still, Fungus will be sleeping on the couch in the basement
TheGoldenSucc: okay, okay
ZAWORUDO: see? I knew you'd give in at some point
TheGoldenSucc: he's sleeping in my room then
Ungalo: HAHA
ZAWORUDO: GIORNO NO
TheGoldenSucc: YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE OF THAT ONE, WE'RE GONNA MAKE OUT IN YOUR COUCH
ZAWORUDO: NOOOOO
TheGoldenSucc: actually, my room is big enough. All of us are gonna have a sleepover there
Donatello: yeah, cuz someone was raised like a fucking princess during his time in Egypt
TheGoldenSucc: I'm terribly sorry that people like me better than you
Donatello: RAHHHHHHHHGH!!!!!!
Donatello: YOU'RE CRAZY LIKE A MONKEY
TheGoldenSucc: you look like a toad
Donatello: you belong in a zoo
TheGoldenSucc: you have abnormally large toes
Rikiel: @/TheGoldenSucc you could do us all a favor and punch him in the face😍
Ungalo: yeah, might make him look prettier
Donatello: ENOUGH THE TWO OF YOU, NO ONE CALLED YOU TO THIS CONVERSATION
TheGoldenSucc: again, people just like me better than you
Donatello: that's not true. Dad, tell him
ZAWORUDO: it's true, I do like him better than you
Donatello: DAAADDD
ZAWORUDO: I'm kidding, I love you guys equally, Giorno is just not a drama queen
TheGoldenSucc: I'm just a queen
Rikiel: period
Enrico: how enlightening
TheGoldenSucc: anyways I g
TheGoldenSucc: hold on, Mista's texting me
_____________
DM from Doraemon to TheGoldenSucc.
TheGoldenSucc: what
Doraemon: uh boss what do we do with this blonde cow-looking guy?
TheGoldenSucc: uhhh idk, like
TheGoldenSucc: break his fingers and staple his balls to his dick, I don't care
Doraemon: okay, and what do we do with the corpse of the bald guy?
TheGoldenSucc: hm. Good question
TheGoldenSucc: you're going to Venezia with Abbacchio tomorrow, right?
Doraemon: correct
TheGoldenSucc: cut him into pieces and throw him in the sea
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"I Wish I Was Never Born™"
TheGoldenSucc: also, another thing
TheGoldenSucc: tell Hol Horse to get his shit together, I don't wanna turn into a therapist again and hear his drunk self complain about his life choices
ZAWORUDO: who told him to come work for me
TheGoldenSucc: you
TheGoldenSucc: you did
Donatello: haha suffer
Donatello: I hope it's long and painful
TheGoldenSucc:
TheGoldenSucc: give me another second, gentlemen
______________
DM from TheGoldenSucc to Doraemon.
TheGoldenSucc: Mista, change of plans
TheGoldenSucc: prepare some pizzas. We're cooking the motherfucker
TheGoldenSucc: Donny is gonna have a hell of a lunch...
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Passione Groupchat
FanfictionAyy a Golden Wind chatfic! Where the crack is on fire, and everyone is alive and living together! 😃 This takes place in modern times btw🧍♀️ There will be chapters with a normal fic format. I made this so I could live with myself, after being abso...
