Feeling Unsatisfied

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The next day came, and you found yourself pondering over Draco's relationship with Pansy more often. During your DADA lesson, you were on the verge of getting kicked out again due to your back chatting to Umbridge. Draco could not deny that he found it extremely hot, and had to ignore you for half of the lesson due to his uncontrollable desires. Though you and Draco were fine with each other privately, you still felt your palms grow sweaty and felt yourself tremble when in public with him, both with the fear that he was watching and judging the little things you did from a distance, and in fear that people could see the two of you together and suspect something. However, whenever you thought of the things you two did, you found yourself in extreme joy and wished to repeat it all. And then it all came crumbling down when you remembered he was Pansy's and therefore did all those things with her too. And for a moment, you bit your lip and, for God knows what reason, felt pity for Pansy Parkinson. That's right. As much as she was a bitch, she was also only a teenage girl trying to get through her life; with perhaps not the best approach, but some approach it was. And you - you were a home wrecker, right now - something you despised the idea of. To be the side bitch. Gosh, whilst moments with Draco were fulfilling, thrilling and exciting, you knew that he could easily drop you any second when he got bored, and the idea of it was ultimately distasteful. Having spent the entire rest of the DADA lesson over this, you felt it upon yourself to charge out of the classroom like Usain Bolt the second the bell went. Both Hermione and Draco watched you leave so quickly and wondered for the cause of your panicked and melancholic face, but you did not feel the energy to share the reasoning with any of them. Instead, you quickly headed to the courtyard to just sit and rest. It was an interesting coincidence for Pansy Parkinson to be there too, as well as Cedric. For a moment, you thought perhaps you ought to leave, but then you remembered that this school was as much yours as it was theirs and therefore you wouldn't be distracted by neither.

Taking a seat under a tree, you pulled out a book from your bag, then, scanning the courtyard, your eyes met Cedric's. Clearing your throat, you stared on at him for a while longer, not knowing what to do. Slowly, the atmosphere eased when he smiled at you gently and nodded his head from a distance as a form of 'hello'. Gently, your lips also formed an earnest smile and you nodded back before finally turning to your book, feeling satisfied. You began to read. And, as you read, you did notice that Draco had arrived. Except, he arrived to Pansy, not you.

Upon entering the courtyard, he looked around. Catching sight of you, he felt his heart rate increase. Catching sight of his girlfriend, he felt a tiring duty. Sighing, he headed for Pansy and sat with her.

"Hey, baby," Pansy smiled, cuddling into Draco who sat with her under the tree opposite you.

Hearing this, you slowly looked up. There you caught sight of the two, and you recalled the memory of Draco tickling her under the exact same tree. Yes - this was what you despised. The very sight of this. No wonder it was on your mind all day. You'd signed yourself up for this.

"You alright, [F/n]?" Ginny asked, sitting down beside you under the tree. Perfect timing.

"Yeah," you mumbled, turning away from the two and back to the book.

"Ah, I see," she said, watching them too. "Jealous much?"

"Jealous? No."

"Sure?"

"Of course."

"So you're fine?"

"Yes."

"Hundred percent?"

"Yes, Ginny."

"Lies. Why don't you speak to him about it?"

"Speak to him about what?" You asked, turning to her as though she'd said the most absurd thing.

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