Everlasting (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

Love and Hatred

Yes.

Yes, it was.

Declaring your feelings for Draco meant devoting yourself to him entirely. No matter how much it hurt, no matter how much energy it required - how troubling it was. Draco was the one for you, you felt it so deeply in your heart, thus, with furrowed brows, you were overwhelmed with a sudden anger but inspiration. You were [F/n] Potter, and who was a Potter without a little drama? Indeed! It hurt, it truly did. Any being would ache at the sight of their lover looking upon them in such a repulsed way, but deep in your heart, you felt Draco's yearning and knew that fighting for him was worth it. You were coming onto the age of seventeen, but your heart had already stopped at this boy - you no longer wished to proceed in life without him. Thus, fighting for Draco was the way to go.

Pain with Draco is bliss; peace without Draco is anguish.

Inhaling deeply, you threw yourself onto your knees to your brother. "Ennervate," you whispered, flicking your wand at him. The invisibility cloak immediately flew off and Harry was yet again free to move. His nose was bleeding and was gently twisted to the side as he gasped in pain and frustration, sitting up.

"You alright?" You asked, helping him up.

"I'm going to kill him."

"Don't." You said. "That's my job."

"You'll go easy on him."

"Me?" You scoffed. "Know your place. If anyone ever kills him, it will be me and only me."

"Whatever," Harry sighed, getting up onto his legs as you helped him.

"Episkey!" You said again, flicking your wand at Harry's nose as it cracked back into place. Harry groaned lightly, rubbing his nose gently as it fixed itself. "You're welcome. Why was Malfoy talking about our mother?"

"Because he's a dick, that's why," Harry scoffed angrily, dusting himself off as the two of you exited the train.

You'd reached the Great Hall behind everyone else, and the sorting ceremony was already taking place when you both waddled in. Sneakily, you made your ways quietly to your tables - you to the Slytherin, he to the Gryffindor - as you sat down on the edge of the table. Draco, having been late too, was sitting near the end as well and watched the ceremony intently, forcing his eyes off you. Every single limb in his body begged him to turn your way, to look at you, but he resisted with all his might. You, on the other hand, could not have cared less as you directly stared at him.

He, on the opposite side of the table, could feel your eyes on him, which only prompted him to look more. Resist it, he told himself internally. You continued to stare, furrowed brows, willing to punch him. But, oh! How much you wished to kiss him - to speak to him - to love him! But it appeared as though, externally, you and Draco had returned to the other end of the spectrum: hatred. It was like all those younger years all over again. Yet, your vivid memories reminded you of the truth: Draco was in love with you, Draco took your virginity, Draco was the boy who you sold your heart to.

A hopeless romantic you were for him, which you found slightly frustrating, for you never were one for soppy ideals. Yet, your devotion for him was entirely real and true, as you felt in rush through your veins; the passion firing whenever you looked at him or felt his presence near. Yes - you were in love with him. There was absolutely no denying that. And yet, a form of hatred built up in you at the sight of him too.

Is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time? To wish to punch them, but kiss them too? To hurt them, but only for a little while? Yes, reader, it is very much possible. Your feelings for Draco were so painfully conflicted that you could not help but stare and stare, wishing for him to turn around and look at you, so that you could glare at him and express your anger to him, but at the same time fire up your heart of passion!

Finally, he gave in. He turned to you, lowered eyes, those of enmity and odium.

You forced a glare, holding back all your feelings for him.

"What do you want?" He asked in a low voice, a raspy deep voice which you cherished so much.

Gosh - how you missed this voice! The way he regarded you. Oh, smile, Draco. It is so beautiful. Your smile is my hope.

"Resorted to hurting my family now, eh?" You whispered angrily.

"The little bit of your family that you have left," he whispered back with a scoff before turning back to the sorting ceremony.

Anger overcame you! Or, perhaps, it was agony ... pain ... sadness that overcame you ... but you convinced yourself that it was fury, for being angry is easier than being sad. Nevertheless, you lowered your eyes at him again. I could punch him, you thought, but I don't want to hurt him. And he is too strong for me. He could stop me and push me away. With a sigh, you admired his face for a little longer, your eyes pondering on his figure, before turning away towards the sorting ceremony too.

On the way to the Slytherin common room at the end of the sorting ceremony, you did your usual deed of walking far behind the group. Draco, too, reflected this as he walked even further behind you. With him were Blaise and Pansy, and you could scarcely hear Pansy's voice and sometimes Blaise's, but Draco remained generally quiet, occasionally responding with one word answers. You knew his voice well, you knew his tone well; you'd grown to know his character and who he was, thus to hear the exceptional locked sadness that he was exerting in his voice, it pained you.

Why do you suffer, you stupid prick? Was all you could think about. How can you possibly love but despise someone so dearly?

"Potter!" Blaise called out from behind, jogging up to you.

You turned around gently to face him, smiling at his smile as he proved to still be the same boy you left last year.

"Hello, Blaise," you smiled, walking with him.

"How was your summer? I saw you got arrested, is that true?" He laughed. "We saw the newspapers."

"Yes."

"Assault!" He laughed. "You sure are crazy," and thus he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. Whether it was an act of friendship, or flirting, or trying to be sibling-like, you could not tell. Nevertheless, you awkwardly laughed too, knowing that Draco was behind watching. "How are you feeling this year?"

"Not good."

Blaise paused for a moment, taking his arm away. His expression turned serious.

"Draco?" He asked, as though he knew.

Slowly, you nodded.

"I know," Blaise whispered, "don't tell anyone ... but he's been acting really weird."

"You don't say," you scoffed. "Blaise, you have no idea," you sighed.

"Hey ... you want to talk about it? We don't have to go to the Slytherin common room. I can tell you some of the stuff he said on the train ... it was very ... unlike Draco. I'm worried about him."

You looked up at Blaise to see his worried expression. Finally, you nodded, and the two of you swerved in the exact same direction and escaped the group of Slytherins. Draco and Pansy watched you and Blaise leave, and Draco could not deny the growing feeling of ... anger. To see you leave with Blaise, knowing that you both were free individuals with no loyalty to anyone, he felt his throat develop a lump as his breathing speed increased.